Aerie Obliviana--OsoaWeek--Issue 077--1/12/96

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-------- -- ----- A E R I E O B L I V I A N A .
singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora
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OSOAWEEK--ISSUE 077--1/12/96
<------- || OsoaWeek || Issues || Book 6 || ------->
(Cup OWis077, Created v1 (4/27/99), Copyright 1999)

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[[BEGIN077OW]]

[[01077CV]] * * * O S O A W E E K 0 7 7 * * * January 12, 1996
"The weekly ezine of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement!"
by Frank Edward Nora

CONTENTS

01 077 CV--Cover
02 077 HR--Hemisinister Review
03 077 LA--Lord of Obliviana
04 077 NH--Nihilistica
05 077 SU--Superior
06 077 SR--Severe Repair

OsoaWeek077, January 12, 1996
12th issue of OsoaWeek Book 6
Written by Frank Edward Nora

Published weekly by Obliviana Super Occult Amusement
(E-mail address in transition)
1-800-OBLIVIANA
http://www.obliviana.com/~osoa

All contents copyright 1996 Frank Edward Nora

Regarding this file, you are free to make digital copies, so long as they're not altered or sold. All other forms of reproduction require permission. A CupFrontier containing this file will be available. Stay tuned for more details.

Character count: 56716 / Line count: 1416 / Days late: 29

*OW*

[[02077HR]] Hemisinister Review

***TV***

GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
NBC MINISERIES, 2/5/96 and 2/5/96

Ted Danson does a fairly good Gulliver. Thank god he didn't do an annoying fake English accent like co-star Mary Steenburgen (who he married in real life, I think, recently).

The structure of the narrative was to intercut between Gulliver after he came home and during his journey. I never read the book, but I can't imagine that's the way Jonathan Swift wrote it. All the scenes of Gulliver ranting and raving about his journeys in a mental institution started to get a little annoying. I mean, why WOULDN'T people believe he was insane?

The home-based storyline featured a doctor who sought Gulliver's wife's hand in marriage--and since Gulliver had been missing for 9 years, he was certainly justified in this.

When Gulliver comes home, acting totally nuts and telling ridiculous stories, the guy sends him to a mental institution. But they make this guy out to be a villain!

And the last scene, where they have a hearing to determine Gulliver's sanity--he tells a story about talking horses and shit. THEN the doctors are even nice enough to say, "Look, just admit that these are fantasies, and we'll let you go." Sounds pretty lenient for one of those old-time funny farms! But Gulliver will not recant, and the only thing that saves him is his son bringing a tiny Lilliputian sheep to the doctors--then they like automatically let him out or something.

I think the whole home-based storyline was ill-advised. I wonder why they chose to use it--maybe to add more of a soap opera plot to what is otherwise a meandering, aimless series of adventures.

I don't know. I think the viewing audience could have handled a more straightforward telling of the tale. As it is, this version is crippled by the home-based plot.

Otherwise, good special effects and sets and costuming and everything.

Oh, there was one insufferably politically correct part--in the land of the giants, where they had a sort of idyllic communistic system of government, they made the queen a black woman, whereas all the evil kings and emperors were all white males. Yeah, it's so cool to show how evil white men are and how good women and minorities are. What a bunch of fucking assholes in Hollywood, you know?

And the kicker is, the shitheads championing white male bashing are white men themselves!

Oh well. Enough of the politics. This miniseries is okay, but not worth renting when it comes out on video.

*OW*

[[03077LA]] Lord of Obliviana

Fri 2/2/96 * 8:21 PM * home

I finished OsoaWeek077 before on the train. I'm actually moving toward being back on schedule--76 was only 28 days late!

Last night, and this morning, and on the train ride home I wrote the Severe Repair chapter "A Train Park". After I wrote the first 7500 characters or so, I went to bed and felt all fucked-up--like I was insane or something.

I think that "A Train Park" is just the slap in the face I need to get Severe Repair back on track. It brings me back to the central Daptin Gone storyline. I know I've been drifting (like Bellicose Billion in the story), but really, I'm really happy with the stuff I've written in Severe Repair Book Five so far.

But I DO have to start working on the many storylines I've left hanging. And with "A Train Park", I've begun doing just that.

I am a little concerned with the sexual content of SR. In "A Train Park" there's some pretty much pornographic stuff--though done in context of the story. Still, this stuff is not for kids. Oh well, come on. Sexuality is a big part of SR--there's no use in fighting it.

Yeah.

So Book Six has only this issue and the next before it's done. Then it's on to Book Seven! I tellya, I'm really making some progress here.

So--I have to keep focused on the Game of Obliviana.

10:20 PM

Looks like another whammy of a snowstorm heading our way tomorrow. Great. Fine. Just what I need.

Yeah, I'm relaxed. I gotta go to Jiffy Lube sometime over the weekend to get some new transmission fluid--I sure hope that'll solve the evolving and ongoing problem with my transmission. The Jeep is still working, but I know something is wrong. Just in case, I made an appointment at Potter and Hillman Ford Jeep Eagle--I get free service on my transmission for 7 years or 70,000 miles--and I'm nowhere near either kill mark.

It occurs to me that I'm self-centered. You know, writing about myself all the time. Working on MY core endeavor all the time. Am I self-obsessed? Well, let me tell you something--I like myself and I always have. No feelings of self-loathing here. I've always been cool with myself.

But come on--I'm not so much obsessed with myself as I am with Obliviana. I mean, it IS my life's dream. If ya gotta be obsessed with something, a worthwhile goal isn't a bad choice.

Game of Obliviana. I think I can make it a reality. It's gotta be simple, at least on the surface. "A minute to learn, a lifetime to master."--I think that's what they said about Othello. Remember the analog version of Othello, where you had to flip all the pieces by hand? Haha. Board games. They were cool.

It's like, I'm developing this whole game, and the cool thing is that all my entertainment releases and 209 occult stuff and everything is like in ADDITION to the game! I mean, I'll have the game, and all the stuff that's related to the game will like already be there--all this cool stuff.

Ah, I'm not making any sense. Good night.

Sat 2/3/96 * 5:33 PM * home

Ah, maybe 6 or 8 inches of snow overnight. I went and got my transmission fluid replaced and my Jeep feels a lot better.

Yeah, my life feel awfully barren today. I don't know what it is. I'm trying to get this whole Game of Obliviana going, but it's tough for me. I have to look at OsoaWeek for the way--it, and the various features in it, is the only creative project I've ever had that I've kept going for a decent amount of time.

So what is it about OsoaWeek? It's the schedule--the fact that it's on a schedule. You see how I go on and on about the schedule every issue--about how late I am at a certain time, all that. It might seem strange to harp on such an issue, but I tellya, the schedule is the only thing that's kept me going.

Another major factor for the success of OsoaWeek is that it's within the realm of my ability. That is, even in my terribly disorganized state, I can do it.

Yeah. I gotta get going on this game. Thing is, it's GOTTA--phone call--hold on--it was my mother--we got cut off--she called again--I talked to my brother.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah--I gotta make sure that the game is designed so that I'll realistically be able to administer it. I'm wont to overextend myself--but being that there will be other people involved, I can't risk screwing them over.

I remember with that thing I did, Interweb, I screwed over a few people who sent in their artwork and $1--it was at or near the fall of ABM, and I just totally didn't even write back to them or anything. I still feel bad about it. Haha, I still even think about sending them their artwork and $1 back. Oh well. I'm sure they're over it. Still... I might try and find them someday...

So the point is, I have to design GOO so that I'll be able to keep at it. The main thing is that I have to be able to make weekly updates to my WWW site. But that can be worked out.

6:47 PM

So in GOO... Well, I got a lot of ideas, but I better organize them and present them in a coherent form...

This line of reasoning continued in Nihilistica, below.

Mon 2/5/96 * 6:51 AM * NJT car 1464

Bright and early in the mornin'! Man, I remember back in the early '90s, living with my parents, I used to go to bed after watching Letterman--maybe 1:30 back then--and then I wondered why I was so messed-up having to get up at 5 or 6.

Nowadays, I'm cool with it. I go to bed as early as 8:30 and as late as 11:30. I'm getting up 5:15 these days. Or rather, starting the snooze bar game at that time.

Okay. Bitterly cold this morning. Like 5 degrees, with a 17 below zero wind chill. Just walking from my parking spot to the station was nasty. My eyes were hurting, it was so cold.

I'm getting more and more interested with my life as it was in the years 1990, 1991, and 1992. These were rough years for me, but looking back, I did some pretty darn cool stuff. One of the most interesting aspect is that this was the time period right after the fall of the Anything But Monday empire, which I shared with Mike Massotto.

With ABM, I had been somewhat megalomaniacal. I was convinced we would become powerful billionaire media barons. As part of this delusion, I neglected to judge realistically my business skills and level of emotional maturity. Because, in reality, it was my great emotional immaturity that brought on these feelings. A billionaire future was the only way to defend myself against the doubts of the present.

Ah, what the hell am I talking about? I hate it when I sink to psychobabble. But I do think there's some validity to these ideas.

I don't think I was aware of it back then, but the early '90s were a time a great emotional maturation for me. If I had found great success wit ABM, I don't know that I would have grown up as I did. I would probably have been an insufferable little bastard, with money and power but a childish personality.

I was questing toward my core endeavor back then--stabbing wildly at it, actually, as seen from my current vantage point. But it was a time of defeat, after the great ABM disaster, but I was always looking forward to the rise of Nomadi or Halfevil or Obliviana--my core endeavor.

Now, all the way in 1996, I think that my constant questing will finally bear fruit.

I sure hope it does. Cuz after the 90/91/92 period, there was the 93/94/95 period--which definitely wasn't as bad as the previous one, but which still did not see any true success, in terms of Obliviana becoming a working company.

Six years of struggle since the death of my last great business venture, ABM. Six years. And I don't want to make it seven. I want this year to mark the end of the struggle, and the beginning of Obliviana as profitable company.

I know that I can do it. But the logistics involved point to a troubling transition from my current lifestyle and job to one based on Obliviana as a successful company.

But it must be done. It must be done.

7:18 PM * NJT car 1507 * Tarb 3347

These days, which would otherwise evaporate into nothingness, are preserved for all time in my words.

Ya gotta check out the Tarb section in Nihilistica, below. I mean, what happened this morning can't be a coincidence--it has to be part of the structure of 209.

Wearing thermal underwear today, very itchy and it feels like I'm wearing pajamas or something.

Yeah.

So... Game of Obliviana... yeah... I gotta keep focused on it... it IS my core endeavor. It WILL get me out of this rut.

Haha--just looked back on OsoaWeek010. Most disturbing thing--the Tourney idea, for a 3-D, virtual reality, Internet guide sort of thing. Geez the idea makes me cringe.

Oh, the artichoke story. The other night (Saturday night, I think) I made two artichokes, and I was eating them in a jolly manner until I see A WORM OR GRUB OR SOMETHING on one of the leaves. Yeah, I should have guessed from all the holes bored into the damn thing. Needless to say I quickly lost all enthusiasm for these artichokes of the damned. The other one was okay, but I figured it had been bathing in wormwater, so no further eating was called for. Luckily, I had some backup instant mashed potatoes in the microwave, and I immediately used it. So I didn't lose my appetite, which I really should have after such a shocking and disorienting food mishap.

7:58 PM

Train is stuck at Metropark, due to "technical difficulties". Someone standing in the aisle right next to me just dialed a cellphone right next to my ear. What am I doing on this damn transit?

Another announcement--the crew is still trying to rectify the problem, but they may have to call someone out here to help them.

Huh. Guess I'm gonna miss all or part of "Gulliver's Travels" part 2, which starts in one hour.

"We have a top-notch crew taking care of the situation." That line from the conductor elicited a pretty big laugh. 8:04 PM now. Looks like we'll be stuck here for awhile.

At least the conductor is making announcements. The worst is when you're sitting there for tens of minutes on end without any information at all--Amtrak is especially good at that little trick.

8:17--we're finally moving. If we make good time from here on out, I'll see most of Gulliver, I think.

I am having visions--just look at Superior 466 next issue to see what kind of a state of mind I am in.

8:28 PM

I hate to say this, but I think my hair might be getting too long. It's getting all knotted all the time, and I don't know if it looks too good. I mean, I AM single now, and I gotta start being a little more concerned with my appearance, if I ever want to get a new girlfriend.

Here's a little memory from childhood. Me and my brother were in the backyard, and I think we had just been playing with neighbor Jimmy Ekert, or maybe we were waiting for him to get home. Anyway, for some reason I told my brother that I could make him Wolverine claws (from the X-Men, all you non-true-believers out there). And I clearly remember telling him that there were three levels of quality I could construct the claws at. The lowest must have been paper or something, the middle one was plastic drinking straws, and I forget what the top quality one was. I think my brother mulled it over a little, and then decided he wanted the highest level of quality. I don't think I ever made the claws, and if I did, they were just straws strapped on with rubber bands or tape.

I gotta ask my brother if he remembers this. Had to be back in the '70s.

It's weird to think of myself in the '70s. All the '70s nostalgia and movies and TV shows and everything--it's weird to think I was THERE--that I spent almost my entire childhood there--from 2 to 12 years old. But my memories are vague, and the cultural/historical material available is so much like stuff you'd see for other decades. I mean, TV shows, magazine articles, movies, etc. It's like--and I know I'm not making this point very clearly--like it's all just fiction. History is definitely entertainment.

But I was there. I was there in 1967, starting October 3rd. The Beatles were in full swing. The whole flower power thing was strongly happening. And I was there. I was a baby, but I was there.

8:38 PM. A few minutes away from PJ station. I might make it for the beginning of Gulliver after all! Barring Jeep trouble of course, which better not fucking happen, cuz I'll be pissed. And also frozen--it's DAMN cold out there!

Tue 2/6/96 * 7:27 AM * Amtrak * Tarb 3350

Well, I did manage to see Gulliver last night. Check out my review, above. All in all, it wasn't very good--I don't think I'd watch it again.

Supercold again this morning. The kid of cold where you breathe in through your nose and the inside of your nose freezes. Really brutal. I see they were frozen down in Florida yesterday--20's in most of the state. Hard to imagine 26 degrees in the Magic Kingdom.

So I'm totally into decaf now. I never thought I would be--I always wondered what the point was. Well--the point is, something with the taste and consistency of coffee, with just a little caffeine, since my body can't seem to abide high levels of caffeine anymore. But I think it's still the small kick of caffeine that I crave. Still addicted, but at a lower level.

What would I have without Obliviana? I remember when I was a kid--must have been the early '80s, I would have been 13 or 14--and I was laying in bed, thinking about how I might want to commit suicide except for the fact that my grandfather was getting me a Super-8 movie camera for Xmas, with which I could make all manner of animated movies.

I used the camera a lot, making tons of little animated films. I took the film up to a place in Martinsville, about a ten minute bike ride, Kami Photo. I remember there was a girl on the bus, named Kathy Graf, who got off every day and went to the store. I saw her in there sometimes--I think her father owned the place. I had a crush on her, but of course, being such a nerd, I could never ask her out or anything.

I just thought of a parallel. As a nerd, I craved getting a girlfriend, but was totally freaked out at the prospect of actually making an effort in that direction. I was in a state where I just wanted it to HAPPEN--that I would somehow magically start going out with a girl. I guess I was just hoping the girl would make all the advances. I don't know. I was one of those kids. My intellect developed far faster than my emotions. You know the kind of kid--you probably picked on one in your school days.

But the parallel--I'm thinking of how I've always craved having a successful business, but somehow I balk at the idea of making a real effort. It's kind of the same thing--wishing for something you COULD get through effort, wishing it would come to you easily.

I don't know if I'm still a nerd. I put a lot of effort into asking this Heidi chick out, and pursuing her after our first date. But the whole thing just fell apart. But that's what it means to TRY--trying means putting effort forth even though it might not work. Otherwise it would not be TRYING, but DOING.

Didn't Yoda say something like that?

So where am I now?

I have Obliviana, and I am producing OsoaWeek every week or so. I have a full-time job, which I get to every day, and I earn decent money. I'm a little behind on my bills, but I've been paying them. My girlfriend of two years, Kerri, left me a little under four months ago, and I haven't found someone new, even though I have been trying. My apartment is an unholy mess--I gotta videotape it sometime for posterity, just like I have some of my other unbelievably disastrous domiciles. I have junk at a self-storage in Iselin and in the attic of my grandmother's garage. I have too much junk.

My life is fully oriented toward Obliviana becoming a successful company in the future. In fact, the job I have now--Macintosh prepress--is a field that I believe will be wiped out by technology in 5 to 10 years. So I definitely need something to fall back on.

Now--my plan is to begin the Game of Obliviana this summer. But I do recall writing about how it must be THIS month that I introduce the world to GOO.

And indeed, by the end of this month, there will be less than five months remaining before GOO is set to begin. AND--I am planning on running a trial Eon in Eon 7, which begins on or about April 26 of this year.

557*6=3342+2=3344/209=16

I just double checked the Tarb figures I came up with yesterday, and indeed it checks out. 557 is the number of days from 7/28/94 to 2/4/96. The two is for the first two Tarbs of 2/5/96. So yesterday morning is WAS Tarb 3344, which IS a 209 Tarb!

Yeah.

So anyway, what I'm thinking of doing is creating a text file that I can give people--on AOL, on disks, printed on paper, etc.--that will introduce folks to GOO. Also, I want to include some entertainment stuff, like Halfevil Times, Hemisinister Review, Zope, etc.

This file would encourage people to create their Fonosta early, so they can get a good number. Of course, I gotta get an E-mail address in order to do all this... I could get people on a mailing list and send them periodic updates on GOO via E-mail... but what should I do--go back on AOL? Or go through a local service provider?

Well, whatever, I gotta get my ass in gear! The time has come! I must introduce the world to the Game of Obliviana THIS MONTH!

6:23 PM * Amtrak * Tarb 3353

I have the idea, it is...

6:59

Slept most of the train ride away.

The idea is like Afternoon--let me look it up.

Wed 2/7/96 * 7:50 AM * PJ station

Yeah, last night I was out of it on the train.

But I did find the Afternoon piece--in OsoaWeek018. Here it is...

***AFTERNOON***
Are you ready for a cool new game you play on your word processor? Yeah! Well then get ready for "Afternoon", coming soon to the pages of OsoaWeek. It's a game you navigate through using the find function that most all word processors have. So this is a game which will work on any kind of computer system which has a text-search feature. Cool, eh? It may even incorporate that great "quick brown fox" alternative--"Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs!"

Well, there it is. That's the basic idea. The reason I want to do this is so that the file can be considered a game, and be listed in the games section of AOL and other places.

What is it now, the 7th? I got alotta stuff to do if I'm to get this file done by the end of this month!

The main challenge, of course, is to further develop the design of the game, so that I can describe the game to people in the file.

One thing I have to work on is terminology. I've been calling it "Game of Obliviana" or "GOO". But I want to just simply call it "Obliviana"--that is, Obliviana IS the game. The only problem is, Obliviana has been so many different things, that at this point I have to differentiate the new Obliviana that is a game from what it has been.

But what has it been? The official beginning of Obliviana is July 28, 1994. This is the day that OsoaWeek001 was released. But Obliviana has been around since June 1991--when I called ZOPE #2 "Magazine of Obliviana". At that time, I defined Obliviana as "the new oblivious viewpoint". I'm not entirely sure what I meant by that, but it certainly isn't referring to a game.

In the four issues of Forge of Wander, from August 1992 to January 1993, Obliviana is definitely defined as a game, but in a very vague manner.

I recall that at one point in the early '90s, I was referring to Obliviana as a distinct thing while my company was still called Halfevil Graphics. (I think HG might still be a registered trade name in Somerset County, in fact.)

But it seems crazy to have a core endeavor named one thing, and a company named another thing, and a game named another thing--it makes more sense to simplify everything, and make "Obliviana" the central name for everything.

So, the game is called Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. This is also the name of my company. GOO is just a term that I'm using these days to refer to the game that will be called "Obliviana", "Osoa", or "Obliviana Super Occult Amusement".

The trademark of Obliviana is the "wings" logo (see OaoaWeek040 for a "text picture" of it).

The game is the central thing--entertainment production and the 209 occult system are elements of the game. Entertainment products are released in Cups, which are major digital artifacts in the game, to trade, sell, collect, obtain, win, etc. Because these Cups are associated with entertainment products that are available to folks for free throughout the entire Internet, the Cup of a very popular entertainment release will be strongly sought after within the game.

The 209 occult system will also produce Cups, but there will be a whole nother aspect to it, in which real-world 209 accomplishments and experiences are translated into value in the Game of Obliviana.

And here, I have to describe a change in my basic business strategy. The Predatorware idea that I first described back in OsoaWeek040. The idea was that people would get digital infostimulation as freeware, but they would be "Prey" unless they bought a limited edition "Predator Deed" for the file, in which case they become a "Predator".

This is not a bad idea, but it comes into total conflict with GOO. See, if a Predator Deed is something you BUY, then folks with more money would have a distinct advantage in the game--making the game a lot less interesting for folk without so much money.

And, I realized, attaching a real monetary value to Cups (Obliviana Cup is the term that replaced FrontierCup, which itself replaced Predator Deed) would cause a whole lot of trouble. If Cups could be bought and sold for real money, Obliviana would be somewhere in the vicinity of gambling--while actually closer to collecting or investing. But it might be perceived that way.

And also, what happens if someone has Obliviana Cups but doesn't pay his game fee? Doesn't he still own the Cups, since he paid money for them?

So I have decided to drop the idea of buying Cups, and also the idea of mailing out a physical certificate. Now, I see entertainment releases as a means of promoting GOO and making it more interesting. Being that GOO entertainment files will be available for free to anyone on the Internet, I expect to get a lot of downloads--each download providing Obliviana will free promotion, publicity, and advertising. The idea of Obliviana Dis (Digital InfoStimulation) is to promote GOO. So, the traditional sense of worthlessness that free stuff has not a problem. I mean, broadcast TV is free, but since it carries advertising, it's not considered worthless. Also, content DOES have something to do with all this, but maybe not as much as you might think. That is, the way an entertainment package is packaged and presented is very, very important.

Now, on the issue of advertising, I think that if Obliviana is reaching as many people as I believe it will, that accepting some form of advertising is desirable. If my main form of income is going to be GOO game fees, I'm going to need some form of additional revenue, and advertising seems to fit the bill.

An interesting idea here is to create limited edition Obliviana Artifacts (Cups, Coins, Swords, or Wands) based on an advertiser's brand. For example, there could be a "7-Up" wand, with some special power, and maybe there's only be 500 of them available. This would mean that 7-Up's advertising message would be ingrained in GOO at a number of levels--providing a very effective advertisement.

But of course, there are other paths to income for Obliviana. Physical artifact-based entertainment releases (books, T-shirts, etc.) will still be in existence in the future, albeit to a lesser degree. Obliviana Dis is available for free on the Internet, but in this, I don't give up my rights to all other forms of distribution. So licensing deals involving the release of Obliviana Dis is other than digital forms is another way to generate income.

Another idea is to offer custom-design services to players of GOO, to improve the appearance (and perhaps sound) of their Fonostas in the game. As part of my Obliviana philosophy, user content will be greatly restricted. That is, the content of Obliviana will be created by Obliviana. I have seen what happens when there's a content free-for-all, and it's not pretty. In order to maintain a standard of quality, and to preserve the unique atmosphere of Obliviana, all aspects of the interface will be under strict guidelines.

So if a player wants to have a unique visual or audio element in his Fonosta, he will have to use Obliviana's custom-design service, which will create content in line with the central Obliviana style. Such custom art would not upset gameplay, because it addresses qualitative, aesthetic issue--and not elements of game mechanics.

This might sound overly restrictive, but believe me--restriction and boundaries are what make a game interesting. Is chess restrictive because rooks can never move diagonally? Or because you can't add your own custom pieces? No way. That's the philosophy I have with Obliviana--everyone playing has to live under the same set of rules.

Yeah. So I have reoriented my core endeavor to Obliviana as game. Therefore, I must focus on developing the details of this game. And that is the challenge I face for the next few weeks.

7:39 PM * NJT car 1471

After work I went to see "Nico Icon"--a movie about supermodel rock star and heroin addict Nico. It was a really intense movie, man.

Earlier today I heard that 92.3 K-Rock is having a DJ search, and I wrote a letter to Howard Stern just now, which I'll present in Nihilistica below. I'm gonna make a tape of old ABM Radio stuff tonight and send it to K-Rock tomorrow. Who knows--maybe I'll be a DJ! I doubt it, but it's worth a try.

Gee, that all I need now, right! I'm trying to get this Obliviana thing going, but I'm applying for a high-profile DJ job! What's my problem? I don't know. I just feel that... I don't know. I feel like I should be a celebrity or something.

I know--what a loser am I. But so what. I'm so talented--I gotta use it for fame--FAME--a thing which gets you CHICKS. SEX WITH AWESOME GIRLS. THAT IS WHAT I WANT.

7:51 PM

So another distraction. But I'm ready to do something cool like this. I'm hoping for an audition--I think that might be possible. As far as getting a job--well... a real longshot. My letter is pretty good--it should at least get them interested.

Now I gotta face the technical and logistical nightmare of putting together the 5-minute tape. Luckily, I remember putting a lot of material on an MD (Sony Minidisk) a couple of years ago--so I should be able to put a tape together without much trouble.

Fri 2/9/96 * 6:21 PM * Amtrak * Tarb 3371 (I think, you can check)

Just finished SR for this issue. I sent the tape in to K-Rock this morning, but omitted my letter--it was just too fucked-up, rambling, and boring. And I won't be reprinting it here for you, either. It'll just have to be one of things that's deeply buried in Obliviana, hidden in puzzles and codes, something to quest after...

Much of the GOO stuff I've written for this issue is out. I'm refining my ideas for GOO so rapidly that I don't want to leave outdated ideas in here for all to read.

I'm feeling very weird today. Two weeks since the whole Heidi thing blew up, and no good prospects for a new girlfriend at this time. So I'm feeling kind of like a creep.

I keep telling myself, do Obliviana and the babes will come. Huh. Just like in last issue's "A Train Park". The same sort of situation--putting it off until it's too late.

Well, it's not really a good parallel. I was with Kerri up to four months ago, and we were practically married. Maybe I should try and get back together with her. I don't know. It's all very confusing. I gotta get Obliviana going. I mean, I don't come across as a very exciting guy these days. All I talk about is computers and how I'm working on digital publishing, and the amazing future of the Internet, and all that. Girls don't dig that.

My goal for the weekend is to get this "Afternoon" GOO intro file done. Maybe I'll even reinstate my AOL account to facilitate this. Who knows.

Get all Obliviana.

*OW*

[[04077NH]] Nihilistica

***TARBS***

Right now it's 7:14 AM, Monday, February 5, 1996. What Tarb is it?

You may recall my Tarb system from OW001. It defines the 42 4-hour time periods that occur during a week.

This system will be central to the Game of Obliviana, coming in July. And one thing I'm planning to do in the game is to use Tarbs as a kind of dating system--the number of Tarbs that have passed since OsoaWeek began on Thursday, July 28, 1994.

A Tarb day begins at 2 AM, so the first Tarb is Caimamtarb, which lasted from 2 AM to 6 AM on 7/28/94. Then, for each issue of OsoaWeek, there were 42 Tarbs.

So--it might not seem so hard to figure the Tarbs out up to now, but remember--52 weeks, each seven days, makes 364 days. There's the extra day--that's why Obliviana Day, the 209th day of the year, falls on different days of the week every year.

By 2 AM on the date of issue 2, 8/4/94, 42 Tarbs had passed. So, if you subtract one from the issue number, and multiply by 42, you'll get the approximate number of elapsed Tarbs. For this issue, which is late, we get 3192. But there was an extra day in there, because OW switched from Thursday to Friday on July 28, 1995. So we can add a day's worth of Tarbs, 6, to the number, getting 3198. So 3199 was Lithibixtarb, 2 AM to 6 AM on Friday, January 12, 1996.

Let's look at the upcoming schedule of issues:

78: 1/19/96 to Tarb 3240
79: 1/26/96 to Tarb 3282
80: 2/2/96 to Tarb 3324
81: 2/9/96 to Tarb 3366

So--since Friday 2/2/96 there have been 3 full days, for 18 Tarbs. So this morning from 2 AM to 6 AM, was Nixtarb, the 19th. And right now it's the 6AM to 10 AM Monday Tarb, Dawtarb. So 3324+20=3344. So, right now, I am in the Tarb of Obliviana 3344, if my calculations are correct.

Now... let's get a little more obscure... let's figure out when the next Obliviana Tarb that's a multiple of 209 will come to pass!

Oh my goodness... you're not going to believe this... wow... right now, the four-hour period I'm in RIGHT NOW is a multiple of 209! Believe me, I wasn't planning this. Just look: 209*16=3344.

This is truly remarkable. Just think of it--a 209-divisible Tarb only come along for 4 hours approximately every five weeks! And this one--the one where I figured it all out--is the 16th 209-divisible Tarb!

I'm really impressed by this. This incident helps prove that all my 209 ideas are valid. How else could something like this have happened?

Let me see when the next one will be... 3344+209=3553. Let me continue the schedule...

82: 2/16/96 to Tarb 3408
83: 2/23/96 to Tarb 3450
84: 3/1/96 to Tarb 3492
85: 3/8/96 to Tarb 3534
86: 3/15/96 to Tarb 3576

Okay--3553-3534=19. So, three full days after 3/8/96... Friday, Saturday, Sunday...so it will be Monday again, 3/11/96--but it will be Nixtarb--2 AM to 6 AM.

Huh.

Well, this is all really weird. But now, and for the next few hours, it's a 209 Tarb!

***APPENDIX SNEAKS***

The first 13 issues of OsoaWeek has a Sneak Preview section that described every feature in the issue. "Appendix" was a rather annoying section which I reprinted in every issue, to give people an explanation of what Obliviana is all about. I had to come up with a different description of the thing every issue. Here are those descriptions.

Appendix (21001AX) contains all sorts of useful, ancillary information to help you understand OsoaWeek, including the answer to that burning question, "What the hell is this stupid Obliviana thing anyway?"

Appendix (17002AX) gives you all the dull, repetitive information you need. Refer to it, by all means, if you get confused, or just feel the urge to know the answer to that persistent question, "What the hell is all this Obliviana crap?"

Appendix (17003AX) is just about exactly the same as last time, but what the heck--it's the stuff you need to know--and not everyone has instant access to the back issues!

Appendix (19004AX) is the place to go if you're confused, bewildered, disturbed, miffed, befuddled, or quizzical.

Appendix (14005AX) asks "Are you confused by Osoa? Severely confused?" If so take a look at the Appendix and get the answers to some of your questions. You'll feel smarter if you do.

Appendix (13006AX)--gimme some information, dammit! If this sounds like you, you need to check out the Appendix, to find out what the hell is going on, don't you know.

Appendix (12007AX)--If you find yourself stunned and/or comatose after reading this outline of OsoaWeek007, please check out the Appendix where you'll find some sort of explanation for all this madness!

Appendix (12008AX) is where to look when you are confused. It may help.

Appendix (12009AX) has the answers! You know, man? Check it out!

Appendix (12010AX) is the place to be when the mind in your head has been sprained and twisted by the harsh atmosphere of OsoaWeek. Get help!

Appendix (12011AX) is for help that you can't find anywhere
else. It's an absolute lifesaver!

Appendix (13012AX) has bunches of rather outdated answers to lots of questions, and is a thing which will be severely whipped into shape come the Renaissance!

Appendix (12013AX) is here for you if you are unsure of all this.

***LETTER TO ARCOMICS***

Back in 1993 I bought a comic book called "ARComics Premiere", and I was greatly amused by the contents. I wrote in a fan letter to the creators, and also called their 900-number to vote for my favorite of their storylines (where I got my "ARCode"). I felt kind of bad after sending this letter, and never heard back from them. Some more of their comics were solicited, but I don't think any more ever made it to store shelves--I sure never saw any. Here's the letter. (I accidentally erased it, so I had to type it back in from a photocopy I had made at Packaging Plus. Tom Katransky, the beleaguered owner of the store, asked me if that's how I got my jollies--writing nasty letters to kids in the midwest. I forgot what my response was.)

(file created Sunday, July 18, 1993, 12:33 AM)

Frank Edward Nora
52 Gill Lane, Apt. 1-D
Iselin, NJ 08836
(908) 283-0443
ARCode #88680

Dear Henry, Bayless, and Lumley,

Face it--you're a bunch of deluded, megalomaniacal adolescents totally out of touch with reality. Why else would I be so fascinated with the amateurish, fannish ARComics Premiere #1?

I remember when the first Image comics started coming out, and it was pretty exciting. I saw Rob Liefeld on The Dennis Miller Show, read Youngblood, WildCATS, Brigade, Savage Dragon, Shadowhawk, and all the rest. I must admit it captured my imagination, and I had more than a few fleeting fantasies about making superhero comics along these lines.

I see the urge hit you guys, too. I see you developed a grand scheme encompassing not only comic books, but feature films, textiles, action figures, role-playing games, and linticular animation. I see you're all very excited about being billionaire media barons. There's just one tiny problem, though...

YOUR COMIC SUCKS!

Well, maybe not totally, but I needed to get my point across. The fact is, the actual content of ARComics Premiere is well below the industry standard in all areas: art, writing, production, color, typesetting, printing, and editing.

This is what I find so interesting about you fellows--you talk about making feature films on a page which is horribly typeset and riddled with typographical errors. You have a 900-number and a linticularly animated cover, but your company logo is a shitty, cheapo-computer dot matrix mess. In short, you Ohioans are putting the proverbial cart before the horse.

Like it or not, I'm a reader, and you made it abundantly clear that you want to hear exactly what your readers think. The painful truth is, I don't think you'll hear too many encouraging words from your newfound fanboys.

So I read ARComics Premiere #1 several times, and here are my feelings on each segment:

REVENANT: Very derivative of The Joker, very cliche, not very interesting.

THE MISFITS OF SOCIETY: OK characters: Faith, Downfall, Scott Free. Not OK characters: Diaman, Blue J, Fireforce, Breakout, Loophole, Jailbreak. Confusing, typical story. Not enough OK characters.

AEGIS: Main character is dull, pointless. Surfer Set team is sort of OK.

THE PLANET PATROL: Unrealistic reaction by characters to obtaining superpowers. Very confusing. OK character: Cosmic Ray, Not OK characters: Rings, Korona, Starlet, Stellord, and all the rest who weren't named. By the way, how did Starlet get Aurora's old costume from Marvel's Alpha Flight?

INSPECTRE: Not OK.

THE FRONTEERS: Very X-men-esque--maybe that's why I voted for it. OK characters: Bastion, Major Damage. Not OK characters: Grenadier, Firearms, Lady Lux. Malibu has Ultraverse characters named Grenade and Firearm which are very similar to your characters--I see lawyers on the horizon.

All things considered, my advice is make a team of the OK characters--Faith, Downfall, Scott Free, Cosmic Ray, Bastion, and Major Damage. Call it Plant Patrol (as opposed to Planet Patrol, as you have it misspelled in your 900-number ad), and I think you'll have something. They can battle cosmic surfing plants who're thinking of invading Earth of something.

Now Ralph, your artwork is a real problem. You obviously have some talent, but it looks like you'll need a lot more practice before you're producing stuff anywhere near the appeal of your role-model, Rob Liefeld.

In superhero comics, art is the most important element by far, and you guys have a lot of competition, from the likes of Marvel, DC, Image, Valiant, Continuity, Malibu, Dark Horse, Defiant, Triumphant, Harris, and Archie. (Well, maybe not Archie). You'll never sell enough comic books to stay in business with your inferior-quality artwork, Mr. Lumley. Sorry to be so blunt, but you guys need a serious dose of reality.

Also, your idea of comics being reader-driven is crap. You're the supposed professionals--it's up to you to produce the best product possible. I mean, c'mon, can't you tell a good comic from a bad one? The only comic company that should need so much reader involvement is one which has no idea what they're doing.

Wait a minute, you guys don't have any idea what you're doing, so stick with the reader thing, I guess.

I published a comic book a few years back, and I was in the same frame of mind as you. It was a satisfying experience, but didn't lead to much success. I don't think you'll succeed in this go-round, but tomorrow is another day, as they say.

I could be totally wrong, and the Inspectre feature film could wipe out Jurassic Park at the box office this weekend, but somehow I think your whole endeavor is just a case of some punk midwesterners sowing their wild oats.

God bless the ARCosmos.

Love,

Frank Edward Nora

P.S. Send cool stuff.

(((messy drawing of "Plant Patrol")))

P.P.S. I'm a writer, not an artist.

***SONGS OF THE WEEK***

"Late Night" by Syd Barrett (from the greatest hits album "Octopus") <lyrics: "inside me I feel... alone and unreal...">

"Three Girl Rhumba" by Wire (from the greatest hits album "On Returning (1977-1979)" ) <Elastica song "Connection" clearly based on this song. Three girls in Elastica, I don't know about you, but I sure see a connection! Hey wait--the song is called "Connection"--haha!--did I just figure something out?>

*OW*

[[05077SU]] Superior

SUPERIOR 453 * 1/11/96
A clockwork bowling pin. A waif in my bathroom, wunna them models. Like my mind, figuring any possible way to have sex with her. I don't like it. Can't I just see her as a person. No. It cannot be. The person, but also having sex with the person. This is the genius of heterosexuality--half the population, you don't have to worry about having sex with them.

SUPERIOR 454 * 1/11/96
Role I play, I WANT TO KISS HER, time for it, will pass into New Brunswick, the houseplant and my relationship with it. Fuggy camera, let me at her, I'll kiss her, I got to, I am proud of guile, what not. Fu. Again with it. Imagine if I wasn't writing all this down. Imagine what a waste it would be!

SUPERIOR 455 * 1/11/96
I got 455 of these? Drop the metal into the breeze. Jigsaw old technology, humming of wasteland, was it achievement, the bird stone. Dry rich people. Audiencer millions. First time letters have met like this. 455 is fine. The struck my chord. It's over.

SUPERIOR 456 * 1/15/96
Twas my who am they, itliza of am trinity. Fork, close to forcea, and to yalno to pray 'em. During. To limit us is, to ling ling form U, tired. Talk the food of the Gs. Many many. How'm do that. Um, unpopnatular. To again, fearjo, justa just just, nowmay lopog uffinc. Bomb.

SUPERIOR 457 * 1/18/96
Flirtations unjust. Damn good decaf. Misty facade. The open black and colorful object of scrutiny. Threatened teen. Looping. Voracious coming. Xmasevil. Little gremlins. Little meandering dye. The liquid world. The fountain of meeting.

SUPERIOR 458 * 1/18/96
God forbid. Lempold Industries--the dirty secrets, the reporting. I got a... the freedom of warm weather... not having to wear a coat. I am not joolking. What wum--there was a woman--she to you I kould--no vever no so fever. The art, dould it fine. Mine, fire has a spine.

SUPERIOR 459 * 1/20/96
Formula. Did you think, all over, the plan of the birds and it can, life in your tree. Borad. Lust and predetermine. Ilgor could.

SUPERIOR 460 * 1/20/96
She bamboozled me. Believe this. Am I a victim? It's not that big a deal. I thought it would be more. I have to come out ahead. I'm no worse off than before, and I have the experience.

*OW*

[[06077SR]] Severe Repair

SEVERE REPAIR 64: "The Slumberotica System"

"We are very excited to announce our new product--The Slumberotica System--which is nothing less than the greatest innovation in the world of sex since the discovery of masturbation."

The audience laughed.

"Using our patented reality-distorting technology, we have developed a means to tap into any individual, and have them physically manifest in your bed, ready for sex. To them, it's just a run-of-the-mill sex dream--that's how they'll remember it. But for you, it all takes place in total physical reality."

"We have done extensive testing--which I have participated in firsthand--much to the chagrin of my wife!"

The audience laughed again.

"And the great thing is, the dream-bodies are totally nonreactive. Now, I know what you're thinking, but no--I don't mean that they just lay there--on the contrary--"

He flashed the crowd a sly smile.

"--what I mean is that no pregnancy will ever occur as a result of using this technique, nor will any disease be transmitted. Now, I know what you're thinking--this is too good to be true. Well, it would be, but I do have a list of a few negatives--but somehow I don't think ANY negative would hurt sales of THIS product too badly."

More laughter.

"Because of the unique state of reality during a Slumberotica session, no one but the operator of the Slumberotica equipment may perceive the dream-manifestation. If such a perception is imminent, the manifestation will instantly phase out, and the operator will have bad reality waves for about a week. As it is, with normal use, the operator will experience mild reality waves for as little as six hour, to as much as a day after the manifestation phases out normally. So, no threesomes or moresomes, all you sexual adventurists out there. In addition, any form of mechanical recording, such as photography, videotaping, or audio recording, will similarly cause the dream body to vanish."

The speaker cleared his throat.

"The unit itself is compact, and worn as a bracelet. If removed during the course of the Slumberotica session, it will cause disruption, just as if another person was about to perceive the manifestation. Now we get to another negative--cost--this product took us years to develop, and the manufacturing process is ridiculously complex and time-consuming. As a result, The Slumberotica System will retail for about $30,000. But once you buy it, you'll have a lifetime of unbelievable sex ahead of you."

"Now, I'm sure a lot of you out there are saying to yourselves, this is great, but isn't it immoral to invade someone's dreams like this? Well, we had the same concerns, so we hired noted ethicist Jack Pollet to examine the situation. His findings, in his own words--"

The speaker put on a pair of reading glasses and read from a sheet of paper."

"--The Slumberotica System poses some interesting moral dilemmas. It stimulates the target individual to have a dream about having sex with the operator. But that's all it is--a dream--to the target person. Since there can be no record of the encounter--except in the memory of the participants--there is nothing to say that the operator him- or herself was not dreaming as well. Indeed, Arfthorn Industries assures me that this COULD be the case--that the operator is just experiencing a very vivid dream. I tried the system myself, and it seemed to be totally real. I brought my wife in (since to do otherwise would violate my marriage vows) and we had quite a satisfying session. She vaguely recalled the dream, but it didn't seem to be impressed upon her mind. All this evidence points to a device that can be distilled down to its basic premise--a machine which connects two people, and synchronizes their dreams. Being that it is natural for people to have all manner of sex dreams, the occasional targeting of an individual seems harmless enough. The problem will come from an obsessive use of the device. For example, if the same individual is tapped every night, it could be considered a violation of privacy. But Arfthorn assures me that this is not possible--that at most, the system can be used only every three or four days, and that the same person cannot be tapped again for several months. This leaves only one moral dilemma, for which I see no remedy--the overtapping of sexy celebrities. I imagine that an actress like Fain Jonas will be tapped by multiple persons every single night. This would indeed be a violation, and if Arfthorn expects this to happen, it would be unethical to release the product. Otherwise, I see no ethical problems with it."

The speaker put the paper down, took off his glasses, and stared at the crowd for a few moments before continuing.

"So just that one problem. And it IS a problem. For even though 97% of dreams are never remembered, the overtapping of an individual could indeed cause problems for him or her, and would not be fair. Arfthorn Industries was determined to release The Slumberotica System, but not without solving this problem. And let me tell you, it took us a while to develop the solution. But we did. Oh boy, we did. See, the person you tap will no longer be THE person, but a close alternate reality version of the person. So, in this reality, the person you're tapping WILL NOT EXPERIENCE THE DREAM. And with this, the product is perfected. Because of the near infinite levels of alternate realities, no individual version of a person will experience a Slumberotica Dream more than once or twice--but the twice is highly unlikely. Do remember, however, that THIS reality is an alternate one to other ones, where The Slumberotica System will also be available we assume, so a few Slumberotica dreams are to be expected here and there, generated by individuals in close alternate realities. But such events will be so rare that the likelihood that anyone would even remember a Slumberotica dream is almost nil. So--any questions? I'd be glad to answer any of your concerns."

That's when I raised my hand, and the speaker pointed to me.

"Yes, you there with the long hair."

"Um, I'm sorry, but what about at least the basic premise of monogamy? Your system there glorifies having set with a new person every night--and I'm not saying that that's absolutely wrong--but what about at least some deference to the ideals of marriage and sex with a single partner?" I said.

The speaker paused for a moment, and then answered.

"I'm glad you asked that. You might think that Arfthorn Industries is a hedonistic place, void of any morality, but there you'd be wrong. We examined every fact of this issue, and Jack Pollet--in this report--a copy of which any of you may obtain--declared with high certitude that use of The Slumberotica System by married persons cannot be construed as adultery, since in the eyes of official-reality, the Slumberotica encounter never even happened. See? That's the beauty of the system."

"One more question, of you don't mind." I said.

"Not at all."

"The idea that anyone might use my dream self for their own guilty pleasures greatly alarms me--whether it's this exact me, or nearby versions of me. From what you're saying, anyone, of either sex, and of whatever perverse inclination, may use me to their heart's content. I am familiar with just some of the sexual excesses of people, and I am hugely alarmed, even at HEARING about what some of the people out there do for sexual gratification. What is, say, and I mean no disrespect to you, or anyone else here, but what if some great, obese, ugly, smelly man comes up to me and tells me how he so enjoyed defecating upon and whipping my dream self the night before? Is this not a true violation of my inalienable rights as a human being?"

The speaker smiled a nervous smile, and his eyes darted about.

"Discretion is a very important human trait, and most possess it, sir. To be blunt with you, any person might use you--or anyone else--in their masturbatory fantasies. This, you must acknowledge, is not something you can, or even should, be able to prevent. If this person is impolite enough to inform you of his strange fantasies, that in an indictment upon HIS character. Think of The Slumberotica System as an EXTENSION of the phenomenon of the masturbatory fantasy. I realize that you can counter me by saying that with our system, real contact I made with a version of you, but I don't think the distinction is a strong enough one to warrant us to reconsider our plans to release the System. Now, who's next..."

"Wait." I said.

"Yes sir?"

"I have one more question, if you would be kind enough to indulge me. Pray, tell me whether or not you may converse with the individual you bring into your bed?"

"Uh... yes, you can. It's... just like that person were dreaming. They can talk and reason and do anything they could normally do, yet they are locked into the dream situation."

"So, one might extract personal information, perhaps of a sensitive nature, from said individual? You said yourself that 97% of dreams are not remembered. Wouldn't this be an excellent way to spy on people--including those in big business, government, the military, etc.? Bring a general into bed and get the launch codes to those nuclear warheads. Right? You see what I'm saying?"

The speaker turned red with anger.

"Sir, we are talking about sex here, not intrigue. I would hope that people would not be so improper as to commit immoral acts as you are suggesting. There are mundane forms of spying that are just as effective. If someone want to know something about someone, they'll get the information, one way or another."

"I'm sorry, you fool, but that is a foolish argument. You Slumberotica System would be massively cheaper and more efficient than any other spying technique known to man."

"YOU MUST DIE!"

The speaker pulled a sawed-off shotgun out of his jacket and aimed it at me. I stood and turned to run, but I heard the weapon discharge.

In the next instant I was drifting again.

Me again. Bellicose Billion.

Drifting through the everythingness.

Huh. That time I had been myself, and not someone else. It was me in the auditorium, asking those questions. I wonder if this means anything.

And then it was a very hot and very sunny summer day, and I was dressed accordingly. I was sitting on the hood of my friend's sports car as he fiddled with the seats. A pretty young woman wielded a garden hose, and she was threatening to spray me with it. There was the wonderful, pungent smell of life in the air. Raunchy rock music blared, distorted, from within the car of another of my friends. And we were all so young.

"Hey Belly, I'm gonna soak ya." the girl said, spraying water on the hood of the car, right next to me. She used the method of holding your thumb over the opening in the hose, causing it to spray far distances.

"Go right ahead my dear." I said. "It may prove refreshing."

With these words of mine, she aimed the full flow of the water at me, and advanced, clearly seeking the maximum soak level for me.

I just smiled and took it, and it did feel good. But my friend jumped up from the pavement, where he had been fiddling with the seat, and yelled at his sister.

"Cut it out, dammit! You're getting the interior wet."

The girl let go her thumb from the hose, stuck out her tongue and gave her brother a right nasty razz, along with a sour face.

"Jesus Christ Bellicose, can you believe her?" the boy asked me.

"She's a trip." I said.

And then, out of the blue, I was standing on a mountain of snow, my body feeling very, very odd.

*OW*

[[END077OW]]

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