|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- BILLION'S DRIFTING--CUP 13--"ALOOFNESS" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Billion's Drifting  ||  -------> (Cup SRbd013, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Sarah... oh Sarah... Daptin rode on a wave of emotional pain... smiling and reveling in it... a vestige of humanity... pain... the sweet pain of the longing heart... if Sarah was here with him... that last glimmer of humanity would be ripped from him... and he'd have to trifle with matters of reclaiming the world he had created... of saving the universe from destruction at the hands of Sleap... He tried again to make contact with his Land... as he had so many times before... and he felt something... something vague... he couldn't be sure whether it was his imagination... aha!... there again, something human... doubt... He got out of the bathtub and started drying himself with a perfect fluffy towel, as perfect as all linens in the Warhome... he smiled as he wondered whether the Warhome could be programmed to make things imperfect once in awhile... then he frowned when he realized that it probably COULD be programmed that way... Warhomes are strange... they have a strong intelligence... but nothing like the full speaking entity in the Stormbolthouses... the Leitmotif, he had spoken to... and the progeny of the Leitmotif... as Ferrajalt had described to him... Lunatether... was a fully realized consciousness... so much so that it (she?) had destroyed itself to be reborn in a human body... Warhomes didn't talk, however. They showed graphics on a screen, and interacted with people in a somewhat childlike way, finding out what you want through a series of graphical options and things... He wondered if the more primitive minds of the Warhomes were also yearning to be human... but he just didn't know... They were like dogs... wonderful, loyal companions that can afford you companionship and help without the burden of speech... allowing a soothing aloofness... maybe the same way cats feel about their human companions... Daptin's Land... there was so much more he had to do... so many unfinished things... the Land was an infant... and it must be suffering now without his constant tending... home to a despicably inappropriate orgy... an orgy decreed by a woman he had resurrected from the dead... killed by Ferrajalt in a fit of anger... a death he had felt like a tons of bricks falling on him... the first death in his Land... And now... the one who he breathed life back into spat on him and committed the most horrible crimes against him... he should have known better... he should have known... Still naked, but a little dryer, Daptin walked out of the bathroom and into the Warhome's master bedroom, getting under the sheets of the oh so comfortable bed and curling up into a fetal-type position... hiding from reality and liking it. Sex... relationships... the game of it all... the wellspring of human brightness, the wellspring of ALL brightness... but for now, for these months of absurd travel, Daptin had to get by jerking off, thinking of Sarah... and a lot of other girls as well... doing a lot of things in his fantasies... a lot of things... Maybe the answer is... maybe it's all about... taking a good thing when it comes along, and cherishing it... all those relationships we pine after in later years... at the time of their happening, were wracked with doubts and insecurities, which may have diminished their intensity... but back again we are... to the fragile nature of humanity... where doubt and insecurity are in themselves invaluable treasure... to cherish, if one has the wisdom... but of course, such wisdom would diminish the humanity of the whole thing anyway... so it wouldn't work... we can't appreciate being human too much... or we stop BEING human... Bad train of thought... not leading anywhere... Sleap could pop reality's cherry anytime... any second... with unknown results... but almost certainly it would be a cataclysm... Somehow, Daptin knew about That Which Lies outside... at some level... in some primordial way... and the feeling he got was urgent... DO NOT LOOK OUT THERE... WE CAN NEVER SEE THAT WHICH LIES OUTSIDE... WHY DO YOU THINK WE SEALED OURSELVES UP IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? Daptin curled up in his blanket, as trillions of souls curled up in their universe... good parallel... but all about hiding... all about avoiding what one should be confronting... but hiding can be for fear, or for self-preservation... and Daptin didn't know which one was happening on a universal scale... Then Daptin touched his neck and got a feeling... that everything would be okay... -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----