|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- THE DARK OF COLLEGE--CUP 6--"VARTOON & FATHGOCKEN'S GIRL PARADISE" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  The Dark of College  ||  -------> (Cup SRdc006, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "Well," Joel said, leaving the briefcase open and he sat back, "there are a number of options. The Hand is very handsome, no pun intended. We, we could be talking a scale, a slippery slope." "In the right direction?" Couch asked, trying to follow Joel's meandering train of thought. "Well," Joel said, "there's the lesson sphere, where you learn to be careful what you wish for, all that. But I was thinking... yes... this could work... a little bit of a program... why not?" "What?" Couch asked. "Oh, nothing. Just a very cool little program. Very cool... ah, let's just ask the Hand." Joel said, and then he reached out and picked up the Hand. Couch and Yark were hit immediately with a disorientation, as if the room had just tilted and stretched. "Once a month," Joel said, his voice distorted. "You'll find a storefront at mall, and go in, and you have day in girl paradise like that. Couch Vartoon and Yark Fathgocken. Is it good. Yes, hello. You two teleport now, find storefront, like it. Do not violate one day rule." Then all of a sudden, Couch and Yark were in the Fiasco Mills Mall, standing in the middle of the food court. They both looked around, trying to get their bearings. "I feel awfully normal, considering what just happened." Couch said. "DID that just happen?" Yark asked. "I don't know. All I know is we gotta find that storefront, and spend our day with girls, many multiple girls." "I don't know." Yark said. "What don't you know?" "I don't know if we should get any deeper into this." "Come on," Couch said. Soon, the two were standing in front of a store called "Vartoon & Fathgocken's Girl Paradise". "Well," Yark said. "I guess this is it." "I'm going in," Couch said, and he entered the store, which was pretty dark and was full of big gray boxes. The two walked past the nondescript boxes, but saw some light in the distance. Soon, they were at a glass door, looking out onto a sunny, grassy hill. Couch opened the door and stepped through the doorway. Looking to his left, he saw a group of around a dozen beautiful girls, dressed in summer clothes. Yark came through and spotted the girls. It was strangely silent. Then, the grass turned from green to cyan and a voice said "Program over", and the girls were gone. It was still sunny, but with the light blue grass and the no girls. "What the fuck?" Couch said. Yark looked around. The door they had come though was attached to a castle sort of building. And it was silent. Very silent. "This sucks." Couch said. "Uh-huh." Yark responded. "We gotta go call that Joel guy," Couch said, "tell him what happened." "Alright." So they went back through the door, back through the store, back into the mall, and got to a phone. "It's ringing," Couch said, after he had gotten Joel's number from information. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Joel Floster?" "It is." "Hi. This is Couch Vartoon. Um... we were like there, and..." "Yeah, I know you. You were just here, like ten, fifteen minutes ago." "Yeah." "So what's up?" Joel asked. "Um... we found that storefront thing you said about... but, um... well there were girls there, but it lasted for like five seconds. It like didn't work or somthing." "Man, I'm sorry. I know the Hand to some extent, but I know it can be ornery. But I... um... I want to be a little less vague here, kid. The Hand has major powers, and I am in contact with it. But it has free will. And it has touched you now. I don't know, maybe it's playing with you. What exactly happened, anyway?" "Well, we found the store like you said. We went in. We got to a nice outside kind of place, and there were hot girls out there. Then the grass turned blue and some guy said 'program over' or something, and that was it." "Man, I'm real sorry. I would say that a god is going to come make you an offer for your whole monthly girl storefront thing, and I think you should take whatever he offers. Look man, I gotta go. I know you think I'm weird, but that's cool. But I gotta go. Call me back if you run into any more trouble. Bye, dear." Couch frowned as he hung up the phone. "What?" asked Yark. "That guy is fucked up," Couch said. "He told me a god is coming to offer us to trade the store or something. And he called me 'dear'." "Joel did?" "Yeah." "What is he, gay or something?" "I don't know. But we should be looking for this god. I don't know about you, Fathgocken, but I'm... I think it'd be better just to get out of this whole thing. We can get girls the traditional way. And if not today, some other day." "Whatever." Yark responded as they walked away from the phone. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----