|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- FRIEND IS TAR MONORAIL--CUP 4--"FRED" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Friend is Tar Monorail  ||  -------> (Cup SRft004, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Alva Meow was drenched as he stepped out of the bus. He had just walked though a fountain that was inside the bus, a fountain that told him "It's all about summer." The water had been warm--like urine, he thought. He wore a shiny silver-and-blue outfit, making him look something like a cross between a king (or a jester) and an astronaut. He was short, and had a handsome face, with thinning black hair. There was a sign next to where the bus was stopped, reading "THE SAHATTER ELEVATED WALKWAY". Alva looked around and saw that he was indeed on an elevated walkway. The black bus, which was parked perpendicular to the walkway, took up the entire width of the structure. It was hot and sunny, with a cloudless blue sky. The sun was blazing down on Alva. The walkway's surface was covered with glossy tiles, all different colors, and the color schemes seemed to change as it went along. On either side of the walkway were railings, about waist-high, also covered with tiles. Alva walked over to one side of the walkway and looked down. There was nothing to see but more sky. He tried to peer around the back of the bus which was snug up against the railing, and he managed to get a glimpse of the walkway continuing the same way in the other direction. Just then Alva caught a movement from beneath the bus out of the corner of his eye. He looked over and saw an odd little man crawl out from under the bus. He was a squat little fellow--two or three feet tall at most. He had a huge nose, big, cartoonish eyes, and sharp teeth. He wore a striped black-and-white elf-cap with a furry ball on top, out of which stuck two enormous pointy ears. He wore a shirt that was striped like the cap. His skin was almost pure white, his features dark gray and black. In fact, there was no color to him at all--he was totally monochrome. Then, the weird little guy spoke, in a somewhat high-pitched, nasal voice. "Hello there. I am 'Fred', a lame character of a group of '80s losers. I was made up by them." "Um... hello... I am... Alva Meow... now... I used to be Alva Neon." Fred smiled. Alva looked away. A little breeze stirred up. Alva clasped his hands together as Fred ambled over to the railing and climbed up. "Careful, there." Alva said as he approached Fred. Fred looked out on the full expanse of sky. "All my friends are grown up now. It's the '90s now. All the losers who made me up are doing new things. I have no place in their lives anymore." Fred said, still staring at the sky. Alva stood next to Fred with his hands resting on the warm tiles of the railing. "So all your friends are gone?" Fred looked at Alva, squinting in the light of the sun. "Nah, not gone. Just older. And bitter. And they don't play games." Alva nodded. "I found myself under the bus." Fred said. "Oh?" "Yeah... the last few years rushed by... fewer and fewer references to me by the crew... I think the last time they talked about me was 1994. But I can't be sure. I guess I stopped existing. Here is where characters go when they stop being referred to." Alva nodded again. "So what about you, Alva?" Fred said. "Are you a character like me? Lost your people?" "No... I'm a real person." "Is that so?" "Yup. I'm real. I had a real life. Used to be famous, used to race trains. Used to have a monkey?" "A monkey? No shit!" "Yup. And I threw it all away after this... this... this ironic thing that happened." "Ironic?" "Yeah, ironic." "Tom and Kelly used to call me ironic. It was a play on words. Moronic, ironic. You get the idea." "Yeah." Alva turned around and sat, his back to the railing. Fred followed suit and sat next to him. Fred studied Alva intently, as Alva listlessly stared at the tiles of the walkway. "What ironic happened to you Alva?" Fred finally said. "I... I tried to sabotage this guy, um, Ivan Isotope... I fixed his engine... but subtle... no way he would have known... but it would have been enough to slow him down... just a little... so I could win." "Uh-huh? Uh-huh?" "But he... he did it to me too... sabotaged me... but he did it blatantly... my engine, Number 55, totally fell apart. And he didn't even get in trouble for it. He set me up totally. And I felt like I deserved it cuzza what I did to him." "Oh." "Then my life fell apart. Like the engine. And my monkey, Foxxo, he even disappeared." "Oh Jeez." "Yeah." "That's a terrible story, Alva." "Yeah." "And you say you're not a character?" "No, I'm real." "But it sounds... doesn't it? It sounds so much like a story... 'Ivan Isotope' doesn't sound like a real name..." "I don't know..." Alva mumbled. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----