|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- GOODBYE POPCORN--CUP 10--"GOODBYE POPCORN" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Goodbye Popcorn  ||  -------> (Cup SRgp010, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "What else can we get?" Fake asked. "Well?" Daptin asked of Confetti. "How 'bout the books in that case over there?" Fake asked, pointing. "Oh no." Confetti said. "Skoobs are for very experienced mortals only. Don't even think of getting any." "Why not?" Daptin asked. "Because, they're extremely unstable. Just imagine a book carried between worlds in totally the wrong way. They're backward, inside-out, unreal, destroyed, infinite, brooding, wonderful--and they're totally off limits." "Not even one?" Daptin asked. "Forget it." Confetti said. "Try these." Confetti reached under the counter and produced a canister, opened it, and poured a few dried peas into her hand." "Conductor voice peas." she said. "Come again?" Daptin said. "Eat 'em and you'll sound like a train conductor over a distorted train loudspeaker. Very fun." "What good are they?" Daptin said. "I don't know. Be creative." "Okay! Why not! I'll take 'em." "Heh heh. Won't Cursive and Elaine be surprised when they see their bill." "Well, let's not worry about that now." Daptin said. "We just have to get all the stuff we need and get over there to Caxopy." "Oh Daptin, there's no rush. What else, Confetti?" Fake said. The three heard a loud moaning from somewhere in the store, but it quickly subsided. "Well Fake," Confetti said, lugging a big cardboard box up to the counter. "How about some huge tin clocks?" The box was neatly packed with little tin cuckoo clocks the size of cigarette packs. "They don't look very huge to me." Daptin said. "Aha, but if you throw it up in the air, it'll become an immense clock in the sky--much to the horror of all who view it." "This stuff is just right over the edge, like, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'll take it. Whatever." Daptin said, shaking his head. "Great!" Confetti said. "What's that popcorn over there?" Fake asked, pointing. "Goodbye popcorn. Eat it, and you can say goodbye to existence for a few hours." "Is it dangerous?" Fake asked. "Not at all. It just makes you not exist for awhile, that's all." "Wow, I could use some of that!" Fake said. "Sold." "Like, what do you mean out of existence? Where do you go?" Daptin asked. "Nowhere. You wanna try it?" Confetti said, grabbing a bag of goodbye popcorn. "No way!" "Go ahead. If you just eat a tiny bit you'll be gone for less than a minute. Try it. It's fun." Confetti said, opening the bag. "Oh go ahead and do it." Fake said. "I don't know." Confetti took a piece of popcorn out of the bag and carefully broke off a tiny bit, handing it to Daptin. "Don't be afraid of it! It won't do anything if you don't eat it!" Confetti said, smiling. Daptin hesitantly took the small piece of goodbye popcorn and examined it. "Just eat it, Daptin. You'll be back before you know it." Confetti said. Daptin looked back and forth at Confetti and Fake. "Oh come on, don't be a chicken. If you can do it with Spanking New Sarah, you can eat a little goodbye popcorn." Fake jeered. "That's it--I can't stand talking about that any more. Here goes!" Daptin said as he tossed the piece of popcorn into his mouth. He began to chew it briefly, and then quickly vanished. "Wha!" Fake exclaimed. "He should be back in less than a minute." Confetti said. "How does it work?" Fake asked. "Now that's a question to be answered another day. Not that anyone really knows, but people certainly have their ideas." "But like, where does all this stuff come from? Who makes it?" "I can't get into that with you right now. Sorry." Confetti said. "Whatever." "Well, while we're waiting for Daptin, let's see what else you need. Hmm." Confetti said, looking around. "Ah yes--no mortal is happy without an infinite-ammo submachinegun. Here ya go." Confetti reached under the counter and produced a two different-looking submachineguns. "Like, guns, like, to kill people?" Fake asked. "Yeah. And to destroy stuff, propel boats, signal cohorts, open doors, whatever. If you need metal, you have a never-ending supply in one of these babies. The bullets make good ballast, if you find yourself in need of ballast, that is." "Well yeah, but I'm not sure about the killing people part." "Hey, it's your gun--kill or don't kill as you choose, y'know?" "Yeah." "This is." the two heard Daptin say off to the right. "Oh you're back." Fake said. "This is what." Daptin said, approaching the two. "He'll be dazed for a few seconds. You always are upon hatching back into reality." Confetti said. "This... I am back, I... I, the popcorn, I... oh man." "See Daptin, it works. And here, have a machinegun." Fake said, handing Daptin one of the infinite-ammo submachineguns. "Thanks." Daptin said, taking the gun. "Y'know, I don't remember anything. How long was I gone?" "Only about thirty or forty seconds." Fake said. "Huh. Some trip." Daptin said, examining his machinegun. "What's so good about this?" "Infinite ammo." Confetti said. "Cool." Daptin replied. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----