|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- PILN OF SCREW RIDGE--CUP 4--"HYRAX" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Piln of Screw Ridge  ||  -------> (Cup SRsr004, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "Uh," Dave said, "hello? Harvey?" "Crap," Harvey said. "Teleporters on the blink. Blew out the main fuse." "Huh?" Then Harvey lit a little blowtorch and motioned for Dave to come into his office. "Have a seat." Harvey said, as he clambered up a pile of demolished cash registers and typewriters to get to his desk. "Um," Dave said, looking around at all the junk for a place to sit, "where should I..." Harvey ignored him and spoke into a microphone, his voice echoing throughout the massive cavern. "Clarice... Clarice this is Harvey. Please reset the main fuse. If you cannot find the main fuse, there should be a map behind a pile of giant statues or something, I don't know." Then Harvey wiped his brow and looked off into space. Dave waited a few moments, and then cleared his throat. Harvey's eyes darted around a little and then found Dave. "Yeah, yeah. Come on up, there's a chair up here somewhere." So Dave climbed up the pile of cash registers and typewriters, but managed to dislodge something with his foot as he finally got to the top. He watched as a copy machine tumbled lazily down the pile of junk. Harvey's eyes widened. "A copy machine?" he said incredulously. Dave raised his eyebrows, but said nothing as he sat down in a metal chair across the desk from Harvey. Harvey continued to stare wide-eyed and concerned at the copy machine, and then Dave sighed. Harvey had set the blowtorch on his desk, and the two were lit in its eerie glow. Finally Harvey looked over at Dave. "Dave, I have something to tell you." "Yeah?" "I've made a decision. A very personal decision. And I want to know what you think of it." "Okay." "There comes a time in a man's life when he must come to some conclusions." "Uh-huh." "And I have COME to some conclusions." Dave nodded. "And the conclusion that I have come to," Harvey continued, "is that I must change my name to Harvey Hyrax." "What?" "I'm going to change my name, Dave. Legally, officially, all that." "Why?" Harvey sighed. "It's a long story, Dave. But let me show you something." Harvey rummaged through his drawers, and finally produced a large, tattered book. He flipped through it, opened to a page, and laid it on the desk before him. He stared longingly at the page, and then turned the book around, so it was facing Dave. Dave looked at the page and saw a color photo of a little rodent of some sort. At the top of the page there was a heading that said "HYRAX". "I may be a hoofed mammal." Harvey said. "What?" Dave said, confused. Harvey turned the book back around. "See Dave, my great-grandmother was a hyrax, not a rat. All this time I thought I had rat blood in me, but it turns out I'm part hyrax--and even though it looks like a rodent, it's more similar to a hoofed animal." Dave was perplexed. "I will be Harvey Hyrax. This is be Harvey HYRAX'S Underground Empire." Harvey waved his hand to indicate the space around them. Then, all of a sudden, the lights came back on. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----