|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- WINTER STADIUM THEM--CUP 4--"MASCARA FROM THE ARPOTRUNING MILLER" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Winter Stadium Them  ||  -------> (Cup SRws004, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "You came at a good time." Evelyn said, glancing from Darnazy to Snoppy. "Snoppy was just telling us how he's gonna get married soon." "Wha!? Oh! My dear fellow!" Darnazy said. "Ain't got no one yet." Snoppy said, looking down and shaking his head. Then he looked straight at Darnazy and continued. "That's why I'm playin' with the notion of using the chonk to get over to Marriage Town and take me a wife." Darnazy smiled, but then wore an exaggerated perplexed look. "Snoppy my good man! With lovelies such as these sharing the Stadium, surely you need look no further than here!" The two girls gave Darnazy a good-natured "are-you-kidding?" look. "Yes yes yes." Snoppy said in an embarrassed manner. "That's a thought that has certainly crossed my mind. But the thing is..." The girls eyed him in humorous expectation. He continued. "Well, how could I choose? They're both so lovely and sweet and wonderful. It'd be as near to impossible as a thing can be. And to boot, if'n I did take one of 'em, that'd leave the other in an awful state..." "There's always bigamy." Evelyn said with a wicked smile. "Yes! Group Marriage!" Enc said. "The three of us could get married--but hey!--why stop there? Darnazy could join us! And we could all sleep together in a REALLY big bed!" Snoppy put his hand to his forehead and shook his head, smiling. Darnazy broke out into a thunderous laugh. After a few transcendental moments of this, a distant sound of dot matrix printing was heard. "Oh crap." Evelyn said. "What?" Enc asked, having just drank some juice out of a tall glass. "Teletype." Evelyn responded. "Darn it!" Snoppy snapped. "Everytime I wanna get myself married... hey?" He turned around to see several strange flying things enter the room from the stairway. There were three of them, with more coming. Each was a long, slender rod with other rods sticking out of it in a variety of directions. On the rods were black, white, and gray little spikes. The things were also covered in mysterious glyphs. On the whole, they looked quite aerodynamic. A red one and a yellow one were already in the room, and a pink one and black one were just coming up the stairs. "Ah! Aha!" Darnazy exclaimed. "What the hell?" Evelyn said. "Damn unpredictable..." Snoppy mumbled as he stood up and grabbed a big metal pipe that was leaning on the wall. The girls also stood up. The flying things were now almost across the room, making a wide berth around the four people. "I like these!" Darnazy said. "Mascara from The Arpotruning Miller." "What!?" Enc said incredulously. "An obscure arm of research." Darnazy said, wiping his sweaty brow with a "Winter Stadium Them" linen napkin. "Pay no heed." "Whattaya know 'bout these things, Thonc?" Snoppy yelled. "Just a cursory theoretical passing..." the huge man responded. "But are they dangerous..." Enc said, but her voice faded as Snoppy leapt forward. "FUCK 'EM!" he yelled as he bounded across the room and bashed the yellow one with a tremendous blow. It made a terrible breaking noise, flipping in the air quickly away from Snoppy, but remaining airborne. Darnazy broke out into his deafening laugh again. The other flyers didn't react, and kept coming. At this point, there were seven or eight in sight. Snoppy advanced on the yellow one, which was faltering, and bashed it again. It made another horrible noise and flew smack into a big case full of valuable dishes, crashing and smashing the whole deal. "I heard on the reality report this morning that there was sleeking on Cwickalty's Banjoose Pike." Evelyn said, biting her lip. "That's gotta be it..." Enc said. "But I've never seen it this bad..." The yellow thing was near the ground now, spinning slowly, agitating the pile of broken glass beneath it. "Lessee if I c'n ice this one, then we'll worry about the other." Snoppy said. Then he raised the pipe above his head and yelled "FUCKER!" as he brought the weapon down hard of the unknown thing. A sound like a massive electrical discharge filled the room, and the thing shuddered, then dropped to the ground. "Killable." Snoppy said with pride, nodding his head. "Ah! Aha!" Darnazy said, standing up and inadvertently shoving the table forward, tumbling pancakes, syrup, coffee, juice, and the like all over the damn place. "Aha! I have it!" He ignored the mess and strode over to his pile of crap. "I should get my sword." Enc said as Darnazy rummaged wildly through his stuff, making a most unearthly noise. "Yeah, go get it." Snoppy said, updating his grip on the pipe and getting ready to cream another flyer. "Looks like we got our work cut out for us." "No Snoppy!" Darnazy moaned. "I have just the thing. No Enc! Rest your sword arm. I have just the thing..." "Well hurry it up, Thonc." Snoppy said. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----