|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- OSOAWEEK--ISSUE 012--10/13/94 <-------  ||  OsoaWeek  ||  Issues  ||  Book 1  ||  -------> (Cup OWis012, Created v1 (4/27/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = [[BEGIN012OW]] [[01012MH]] OsoaWeek012, October 13, 1994 Published by Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Contact via e-mail at obliviana@aol.com, via voice at 1-800-OBLIVIANA, or via snailmail at 37 Gill Lane, Suite 119, Iselin, NJ 08830, USA. On America Online, contact via "Obliviana". Copyright 1994 by Frank Edward Nora. Permission is granted to make complete, verbatim electronic copies of this ezine for the purpose of free distribution. All other forms of reproduction are forbidden without express written permission from Frank Edward Nora. This file should contain approximately 57212 characters and 1568 lines. OsoaWeek originates in the United States of America. Statement of Purpose: OsoaWeek is the weekly ezine of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa), an innovative and far-reaching game with an eye on the future. See the Appendix at the end of this file for a clear explanation of what Osoa is all about. And check out the Sneak Preview below (after Contents) for an overview of what's inside this issue! *OW* [[02012CN]] Contents of OsoaWeek012 BEGIN 01 012 MH--Masthead 02 012 CN--Contents 03 012 SP--Sneak Preview 04 012 LO--Lord of Obliviana Revelry 05 012 NH--Nihilistica 06 012 CO--Catalog of Obliviana * * * 07 012 SO--The State of Osoa * * * 08 012 HR--Hemisinister Review 09 012 HT--Halfevil Times 10 012 FE--Friction Enhancer 11 012 SU--Superior 12 012 SR--Severe Repair 13 012 AX--Appendix END Unless otherwise noted, all contents are by Frank Edward Nora. See Appendix for more information on the Contents, codes, and searching. *OW* [[03012SP]] Sneak Preview of OsoaWeek012 Jeez! October, October--time is flyin'! But as time flies, OsoaWeek comes out every week! And you, lucky person out there, you have the unprecedented opportunity to read this, the coolest publication there is--for free, every seven days! Take this issue for example... Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04012LO) presents a dark, upsetting litany written by the Lord in a weary daze. Still, he does provide a preview of the cool NEW Obliviana to be introduced in two weeks. Read it lazily. Nihilistica (05012NH)--check out "Have Tina", a radical new computer game in development which includes elements of trading cards, bowling, and religion! Also, find out the awful truth about what's happening with 800 numbers. And for a real treat, you get the complete list of all 56 Codingseeds! And that's just fine! Catalog of Obliviana (06012CO) offers you a bunch of excellent stuff to buy via that old stand-by, mail order. Truly, if you're a real Obliviana fan, you'll want some of these Artifacts, you know? They're all signed, numbered and stamped, okay? The State of Osoa (07012SO) reveals one of the secret elements of the upcoming Obliviana renaissance--IBOF! This Indefinite Battery of Obliviana Files is a cool partner to OsoaWeek, containing sound files, video files, images, games, and a lot more. Hear all about it RIGHT NOW! Hemisinister Review (08012HR) takes a little look at MTV, reviewing Robert Plant and Jimmy Page's "UnLEDed" concert. Also, see how two videos fare--"Supernova" by Liz Phair and "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Also, thoughts on passe VJ Kennedy. Then we move on to the world of comics books with a review of the newest X-title, "Generation X", and commentary on the invasion of "Magic: The Gathering" losers in comic shops everywhere. Halfevil Times (09012HT)--time again for more of those adorable "Perceptions & Ponderings"! Like... Ever wonder how in God's name we've been spared the torment of a "Gilligan's Island" feature film? And... Ever notice that the world of cheese is a vast universe indeed? Friction Enhancer (10012FE) presents the text of the thirteen Propulsion Cards from the 1991 occult deck of cards, "Storm Codex". Excellent, cryptic Friction Enhancing awaits you! Superior (11012SU) lets "sitting by a windowby a parkway by a place" hang out with "please hover in blissful verisimilitude with sordid freedoms and the sender", while "a dent is a thing, see, where it's metal and it gets hit" swerves near "scary role-player Reentard really raise posty, population popcorn". See what I mean, there? Severe Repair (12012SR)--this time, check out "80-A Clarity", where Fake is still imprisoned by Cup's Club, themselves recovering from the slay balloon detonation. Daptin faces some amazingly bizarre perils in his quest to save her, as he and Provocation Team D find themselves working at a water treatment plant! Things are really heating up--so check it out! Appendix (13012AX) has bunches of rather outdated answers to lots of questions, and is a thing which will be severely whipped into shape come the Renaissance! *OW* [[04012LO]] Lord of Obliviana Revelry Okay things are really messed up. I'm kind of dizzy and upset you know now. This weekly ezine, this great endeavor, and I am the only person between it and nonexistence. I know no one is reading OsoaWeek yet. I just haven't promoted it well enough yet. I'm not really surprised, but still, it's weird addressing an audience of futurians. Yeah, I assume that OsoaWeek WILL gain momentum in the future, and people will look back at these first thirteen issues. It's just, here we are, still in 1994. I mean, yeah, I guess I have a head start being this far in the past, but it's tough-- a lot of what I'm doing isn't clicking yet. The end of the 20th Century. Crash and burn, you know. A new horizon in the 21st. Even brighter after we get through 2010. Okay, enough of this alluding to time travel silliness--I want to tell you, I am locked into this dated, weeks-old format for this issue and the next before the big change occurs in OsoaWeek014, October 27, 1994. At that point, I will do again what I did in OsoaWeek001--that is, present an overview of the totality of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement, and set the format for the next quarter. And indeed, I did begin OsoaWeek from a dead stop, splattering paint onto the canvas in a haphazard rough draft of things to come. My intention of to greatly refine my vision in the fourteenth issue, two weeks from now. And most likely you are a futurian, and either already have or can easily check out OsoaWeek014 and see how I did. Yet you hear my dizzy words preserved in bits, echoing forth from the past. There is a lot to like in the world, let's not forget that. My problems are almost purely financial. In 1989, I invested a lot of money in Anything But Monday Magazine, just to see the whole project disintegrate before my eyes. That was five years ago. It was a case where opportunity knocked and I answered the door, but through inexperience and cockiness, managed to pummel opportunity into a bloody mess. And now, I am slowly recovering. And now, I have a project in OsoaWeek which costs little, but isn't getting noticed at all. I know I'm planting the seeds of something that will make an impact, but it's hard to march ever onward without some kind of response. Like that song, "The Sound of Silence", how appropriate. I had to sing it in chorus in 8th grade was it? It was meaningless then, you know. Hopefully at the time you are reading this, Obliviana Super Occult Amusement is a successful company with me at the helm. You, futurian, you are my link to that future, for I am, in some little way, communicating with you, and in this contact, I am in some fashion connected to a place where my vision, my dream, has come true. But right now, I tell you, I'm not feeling so good. Get all Obliviana. *OW* [[05012NH]] Nihilistica ***HAVE TINA*** "Have Tina" is the tentative title for a cool video game currently under development here at Osoa, which includes elements of trading cards, bowling, and religion. Look for it in the Ibof Collection! ***800 NUMBER TROUBLE*** I had heard rumors that crooks found a way to charge people for 800 calls, but it wasn't until the last "Dateline" on NBC that I got the whole story. Apparently, there are a bunch of loopholes which allow operators of what I assume is almost exclusively sex lines to charge people for calls to 800 numbers, using a variety of underhanded techniques. Well, being that I have an 800 number (1-800-OBLIVIANA), this news is very disturbing to me. No longer will people feel the same level of comfort dialing an 800 number. Whatever the facts, the pristine nature of the 800 number has been sullied forever. So right now, I just want to assure all of you that 1-800-OBLIVIANA is, has been, and always will be absolutely free. But if you still have doubts about my 800 number or anyone else's, there's a simple remedy--call from a payphone. Your 800 will go through on just about any payphone that's out there, and there's absolutely no way you can be charged for it (unless you enter or reveal some sort of personal information). So anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this issue, and I hope you continue calling and enjoying 1-800-OBLIVIANA for a long time. ***CODINGSEEDS*** First introduced in Fovy (Foolish Obliviana Vending Yamp), a pre-OsoaWeek publication of mine, each Codingseed is a cool logo/glyph/symbol related to something in Obliviana. You can check out all 56 in the Quicktime movie "Codingseeds Chaotic", or in GIF and/or JPEG format--just check out the awesome Ibof Collection, premiering in two weeks! As well, in the works we have a system by which any of the Codingseeds can be custom-applied to T-shirts, mugs, pens, and the like. Here's the full list of Codingseeds as of now... 001 Antebellum 002 Anything But Monday 003 Cup's Club 004 Cup's Club Cup of Coffee Glyph 005 Vulpine Gathering 006 Nomadi Ubiquity 007 Severe Repair 008 Pelter 009 Obliviana Wings Alone 010 Fovy--Foolish Obliviana Vending Yamp 011 Welcome to the Weasel Village Mall 012 Obliviana Codingseed 013 Obliviana--Super Occult Amusement 014 Seal of Artifact Reality 015 Zope 016 Basement-Wall-Thursday Mortal Supply House 017 Forge of Wander Sign 018 I Rule 019 Naked Girl Symbol 020 Smythix 021 Balbitype 022 Xappen 023 Confounder 024 Obliviana Week 025 Halfevil Graphics 026 Nihilistica 027 Painful Essay 028 Hechnology Dood 029 Interweb 030 Superior 031 Carne's Moisture Detection Panoply 032 Weapon Highworld Happen 033 The Caxopy Group 034 Actuality Destructor 035 Unknowable Pivot 036 Death Pasta Adventure 037 IBOA--Indefinite Battery of Obliviana Artifacts 038 Storm Codex 039 Sawdust Winter 040 Februon Subatomican 041 Obliviana Logo Design 042 Codingseed User 043 Super Object 044 Osoa Logo 045 Fow Brand 046 Get All Obliviana 047 Digital Superworld Youth 048 Deluge of Primacy 049 Pony Ultimate Freedom Design 050 Ulta New Media 051 Breezystorm Pacer 052 44 Well Redwand 053 Loser Technology 054 Floralwarp 055 Disregard Jeans 056 Trick Sojourn *OW* [[06012CO]] Catalog of Obliviana With more and more of your life switching over to digital, isn't it nice to be able to obtain something unique to the physical world? That's what Obliviana Artifacts are all about! Each one is signed, numbered, stamped, and very limited! So for the best in non-digital thrills, order often from the mighty Catalog of Obliviana! You can always call 1-800-OBLIVIANA to check out how many of a given Artifact are left, and also reserve an item. Your Artifact will be held for 5 business days, awaiting your order. I keep two of everything, so the initial amount available is at least two less than the total. To order, send check or money order made out to Frank Edward Nora, or cash (at your own risk), to the address in the Masthead. All prices include postage and handling. Guarantee: Return any Artifact within 30 days of receiving it for a full refund. MINIATURE SUPER OBJECT 1: NON-THORIUM ANTENNA This is a strange little Super Object I developed some time ago as an incentive item to get you to order one of my former magazines. I got no orders, though. Now, there are 40 Non-Thorium Antennas, complete with tiny plastic container and title card. 28 left. OA001. Only $3 each! PERFECT FOVY Fovy was a publication I released fortnightly for five issues last Autumn. Each issue is on one folded-up 11 x 17 sheet of paper, with an awesome 8-Codingseed poster on one side and cool stuff on the other, including two Zope comics per issue! A wonderful collection, bound with a paper band, and only 26 made. 24 left. OA002. Yours for $5! PELTER CD-ROM This is an actual CD-ROM I had pressed over a year ago, and it contains 256 of the coolest clip textures you ever saw! Being for the Macintosh, each image is a 512 pixel by 512 pixel 32-bit color image. As well, each image comes in 6 varieties! These are 32-bit, 8-bit, grayscale, tiled 32-bit, tiled 8-bit, and tiled grayscale. This product never saw commercial release because, (a) I blew all my money just producing it, and (b) I'm too lazy and wary to have anyone else produce it. So! A great bargain, with only 40 copies available. Includes the original color-photocopied cover, and a brand new insert with updated information. Requires Macintosh computer with CD-ROM drive. 38 left. OA003. Only $30 each! READ THIS OR DIE! An awesome collection of Zope comics spanning eight years! Contains twenty sheets of colored paper, with 40 Zope comics in all! Included are "Zope's Resin Conundrum", "Zope's Little Puppet", "Doctor Zope and the Abdomen Ghoul", and loads more! Each set not only has the usual signature, stamp, and number--but an original drawing of Zope as well! All bound together with a big binder clip. A very raw artifact! 20 made, 7 left. OA005. $4 each. *OW* [[07012SO]] The State of Osoa A lot of changes are in store for you in the Obliviana refinement two weeks from now. One of the most exciting additions to the world of Osoa is the introduction of Ibof, the Indefinite Battery of Obliviana Files. What this basically means is that along with each weekly OsoaWeek text file, there will be a variable number of other Obliviana files in a variety of formats. With this, I hope to expand the universe of Obliviana, and expose a great number of new people to it. While still under development, I can give you some details on what will be available. One series of files is tentatively titled "Crudecast", and these are highly compressed Mac System 7 sound files, playable right from the desktop. Because of the compression, the sound quality is rather low--kind of like a distant AM radio--but it stores a minute of audio in only around 100K! Among the sound bites will be clips from the old Anything But Monday radio show, Train Crap & Blood, Little Frankie Nora, and other awesome stuff. Other sorts of files will include GIF or JPEG images, Quicktime movie clips, and even some games--especially text-based ones! Also, look for new features in OsoaWeek itself, including Classictronica, a look at the entire universe of video games, past, present, and future. As well, a whole new Fonosta system will give you the opportunity to win some really cool stuff! So keep on keeping up with the rather grandiose majesty of this up-and-coming superthing, OsoaWeek! *OW* [[08012HR]] Hemisinister Review ***MTV*** UNLEDED I was really looking forward to this show, a show which seemed for all intents and purposes to be basically "Led Zeppelin Unplugged". Unfortunately, it was only half like that--the other half being a bunch of not-very-engaging Middle Eastern/Moroccan/Egyptian songs from, I suppose, the upcoming Page/Plant album--all filmed on location in a plethora of third-world nations. Also, there seemed to be an awful lot of commercials during it--I suspect it was a one hour show with a half-hour of commercials. But in the end, there were some great versions of classic Zep, especially "The Battle of Evermore" and "Friends". But c'mon guys--cut the camel jockey crap. LIZ PHAIR--SUPERNOVA This is a great song and a great video. Phair is fairly awesome, a very fresh talent. I like the part where they cut out the word "f*ck" (as in "you f*ck like a volcano", etc.)--where she just sort of looks like "oh well". See it. STONE TEMPLE PILOTS--INTERSTATE LOVE SONG STP is excellent--every song on their "Purple" CD is a winner. This song is great as well, but the video has a few problems. First of all, it begins with a sort of parody of an old silent film, where a woman kicks a guy out, and his nose starts to grow. There's a horrible transition to the beginning of the song, and the guy's nose keeps getting longer and longer throughout the video. Lame. The rest is hardly colorized footage of the band hanging out in various places. Passable, however. KENNEDY I really thought she got fired, but I guess not. Well, we all know what happens to MTV VJ's--it's only a matter of time before she'll thankfully disappear forever. ***COMIC BOOKS*** GENERATION X I used to buy an awful lot of comic books--and the novelty of new books every week still appeals to me, it's been getting harder and harder to get excited about anything. Even worse, I buy comics to READ, not to collect, so I'm not turned on by ersatz "hot" books. But I have to say, Marvel's new X-title is most excellent. I've long felt that it's the getting to know a new cast of characters that makes comics compelling, and in GenX there are a bunch of them. Number 2 just came out, so you can catch it from the beginning. And for nerdish completeness, here are the members--Banshee and White Queen are the leader/teachers, with Jubilee as the only other familiar character. The rest are Husk, Skin, Penance, Mondo, M, Synch, and Chamber. Get it! MAGIC: THE GATHERING Okay, so it's not a comic book, but it does relate. It seems like every comic shop is getting infested with these card-album-toting freakoids. These people are goddamn annoying! Antisocial weirdoes and rejects. Maybe I'll have to start buying my comics at 7-11. That is, until the Magic crowd invades there too. F*ck Magic the Gathering! It sucks! *OW* [[09012HT]] Halfevil Times HALFEVIL TIMES PERCEPTIONS & PONDERINGS EVER WONDER... ...what they were thinking when they made those sinks with one spigot for hot and one for cold? Are there people who actually enjoy alternatively scalding and freezing their bare flesh? ...why Morgan Freeman automatically make every film he's in a "feel good movie"? ...when that creep Michael Stipe is going to drop dead like he deserves? ...who the hell these whales think they are? ...where CD's will be when 680MB of RAM costs less than $10? ...what happened to all those droids in the Sandcrawler after the Jawas got killed by the Stormtroopers? ...what possible purpose cuticles could serve? ...how in God's name we've been spared the torment of a "Gilligan's Island" feature film? ...what exactly these "more important things to be concerned with" are, when people complain about the public focus on O.J. Simpson? ...how a Surgeon General of the United States can advocate making cigarettes illegal, while supporting the legalization of drugs like marijuana, cocaine, and heroin--and still remain in office? EVER NOTICE... ...how the most annoying radio ads never seem to die? ...that "Dr. Who" fans seem a lot cooler now that "Magic: The Gathering" fans are on the scene? ...that computers would be a lot more bitchin' if they employed some form of internal combustion? ...that the world of cheese is a vast universe indeed? ...that while you might think it would get passe, our culture's lame obsession with old TV shows just keeps on getting stronger and stronger? ...the assh*le trend on awards shows where the winners act like they're just "normal folks" and don't deserve it? ...that the only real way to be cool these days is to be a loser? ...that 95% of the people on the Internet and all online services are f*ckheads? ...that after the Gulf War, the early '90s went steadily downhill? ...that setting off neutron bombs in America's ten largest cities would improve things immensely? *OW* [[10012FE]] Friction Enhancer ***PROPULSION CARDS*** In 1991 I created a deck of cards called Storm Codex. Thirteen cards of the sixty-card deck were called "Propulsion Cards", containing all sorts of Friction Enhancing ideas. Here's the text of these cards, but remember, this is not a numbered FE, and a lot of the ideas herein may become individual FE's in the future. Enjoy! [1] YEAH * Freefall me in a supermarket. * consider Situation * go: Supermarket * get Action Figures * mix V-8 and... * Give power lines the middle finger * [2] NOPE * Touch me to a tree. * consider Location * go: Library * get Buttons * mix Yoo-Hoo and... * Ride a train to somewhere where you've never been * [3] PERHAPS * Let me set awhile on an ATM. * consider Atmosphere * go: Park * get Straws * mix Grape Soda and... * Write tiny words on a parking lot with twigs * [4] C'MON * Stroke me against something doomed. * consider Weather * go: Mall * get Sand * mix Tonic Water and... * Make two pebbles miles apart switch places * [5] WHAMMY * Hold me over a fence for a bit. * consider Chance * go: Another State * get Drill Bits * mix Skim Milk and... * Play games with string * [6] UH-OH * Smother me in an pile of paper clips. * consider Joviality * go: Bowling Alley * get Marbles * mix Iced Tea and... * Speak gibberish as if it were meaningful * [7] WHAT? * Bookmark me in an issue of Omni. * consider Bad Vibes * go: Restaurant * get Model Train Stuff * mix Grapefruit Juice and... * Sing dumb songs * [8] RELAX * Destroy a photocopy of me. * consider Clarity * go: Middle of Town * get Stupid Magazines * mix RC Cola and... * Perceive one thing AS another by bypassing internal logic * [9] JERK * Slip me into a VCR. * consider Confusion * go: Body of water * get Clay * mix Coffee and... * Attempt to think backwards * [10] YAWN * Shuffle me into a different deck. * consider Time * go: College * get Lollipops * mix Hawaiian Punch and... * Don't drink and zone * [11] SOON * Hold me very close to a brick wall. * consider Continuity * go: Arcade * get Garage Sale Crap * mix Ginger Ale and... * Create a web * [12] NICE * Tap me against a dry cleaners. * consider Velocity * go: Middle of Nowhere * get Cups * mix Yogurt Drink and... * Establish donexts and modify them every so often * [13] NOTHING * Balance me on a bottle. * consider Hierarchy * go: Historic Site * get Used Paperbacks * mix Perrier and... * Imagine nearby objects in different colors * *OW* [[11012SU]] Superior SUPERIOR 89 Sitting by a windowby a parkway by a place, I am in no state to write here, and as I jam in no way to bite here and it was in the hallway and it was broken and I got a lot of food and soda out of the vending machines and these people were doomed. SUPERIOR 90 Door, now this is a good one! How'd it'd show? I am now at a train station, thinking. No! The mind is gone, and that's not wrong, my odd. Great, y'know, if we'd seen them before, but here outside it, we might see them again. SUPERIOR 91 My way was truer if delayed, I'd say. Was it you by the lake train day place? Hide many was through a lone card in a deertree. Put down lore as noth, dear not. Hum's tech if ask the tramp can mark torpor knack. The was nood. SUPERIOR 92 Grander bastardizing passing and shaping the entire landscape fake letter nevpunck. Assy typeface, can they be human? Circled idiotic markings--the best can a letter be a general type like this. Why does a train work? There's no reason why it shouldn't work! Never again losing tunnel my choice, umfortume fivediesel, and a sleepy haha, glistening feminine geodes, I saw my hand, tender is a den, her lissome surface is a cosmos unto its luscious self, that was it. SUPERIOR 93 And we can begin to see the light of day's night. Below, I just see Washington D.C., Smithsonian autumn, after a rainfall, happy smiles kiss my love. Tender is the day--blender is the night. So, if all else fails, we can be the waterfall for a while. Bast, cat bitch. Just one kiss SUPERIOR 94 Please hover in blissful verisimilitude with sordid freedoms and the sender. Forever hindered on the darkened entrances as the ever well-defined whorl contains the exploding tumult, in grouchy planar scorch, the endgame-mind walks. And rodent walks. SUPERIOR 95 A dent is a thing, see, where it's metal and it gets hit. Not known to many is the denter broom, a broom (or cleaning tool) designed to dent. The thing is it's too good. It dents everything! So be careful if you get it. SUPERIOR 96 You years writing within. Who where what's what was upset. Undercharged two twentieth true, too. Today, thy this thinking they're there, then the that? That sure street stealing sick she seeing scientific. Scary role-player Reentard really raise posty, population popcorn. Please pendulum paperclip over one once, on of not Newton my more! Might make lost later, late know kids. Keyboard keep it's it is iron in. If I'm, I hundreds. Human home his here her he hand guy got goddammit. Go girl get geers future frameworks--send for floors far fact! Experiment exorb evil even down disastrous copycard class clard. Choi, century, caught? Can boxer bosker booksale billions, big because be asked are and? And am all after about a... *OW* [[12012SR]] Severe Repair SEVERE REPAIR 12: "80-A Clarity" "Give me my stuff, you bitch." Fake Cerquaine sat imprisoned in a little cage made of splintered wood, held together with darting, little black lines. Kesh the Vector stood nearby, maintaining the cell with little effort. Classic of Logic was examining Fake's equipment in fascination and awe. "Maybe if you give us the cup you can have your things back, dear." Classic said without looking up. "But you do have some keen baubles here." "Yeah well, don't touch any of it 'cause you don't know what you're doing and it's goddamn dangerous." Fake said, grabbing at one of the pieces of wood, then cringing with the weird tickling sensation the vectors brought. "What's this?" Classic asked, picking up a pair of yellow socks with lavender polka dots. "Don't touch those! They're mine and only I know how they work!" Fake said. And then, turning to look up at Kesh "Let me out of here you weirdo! She's gonna hurt herself! Can't you see?" Kesh tilted his head slightly. Fake now saw that within the darkness of his face was a square shape with patterns on it, like a tile. It seemed to float within the head cavity. "My dear, this is no game." Kesh said. "And you needn't worry about Classic--she can do just about anything." Just then, Classic began giggling. "Christ." Fake said with a grimace. "It's such a pretty thing!" Classic said with a spaced-out look. "It's very far and very near." Classic then began rubbing the sock gently up and down her cheek. "Stop that, dammit!" Fake said, grabbing at the large wooden splinters again. "Stop it, that's mine!" Suddenly, Fake flailed herself against her cage and succeeded in shattering a part of the structure. Smiling, she began to leap toward Classic, and in mid-jump she lurched to a halt, feeling Kesh's vectors flowing through her. "Really Miss Cerquaine." Kesh said as he restrained her on the ground and rebuilt the cage. "The construct was a courtesy, as most individuals find the tactile sensation of my vectors unpleasant. I don't relish this task, young lady, and I've hardly seen any glimmer of ability on your part to break free from me. Please make it simple on both of us." Fake felt the vectors leave her body as the cage was then fully rebuilt around her. Bith the Silly Train, who was sitting on Fake's cinder block to keep it under control, turned around from his lookout spot and yelled "Keep it down over there, you rattlers! I think I hear something!" Classic was now lying on her back toying with one of Fake's situation grenades. She snuggled it, smelled it, briefly licked it. "Hey you!" Fake yelled at Kesh. "Prettyboy! Are you blind? Look at what's happening to little miss perfect over there." Kesh turned to look at Fake and then at Classic, who was getting up with some difficulty. "I may not have eyes, but I can see. I can see, Miss Cerquaine." Kesh said. "And I'm sure Classic has a reason for her behavior. Hey, Classic?" Classic was still trying to get up, and then she spilled the can of conductor voice peas she was holding all over the ground. She tittered and fell down again. "Oh crap--did you see that! She breaking everything I own!" Fake yelled, pointing. "Classic, are you quite all right?" Kesh asked. Classic looked up at Kesh with her hair mussed up all over her face and a sweet drunken grin. "I feel... I feel pretty good, actually, Kesh." Classic said, and then she rolled over several times, finally winding up on her back. She blurted out another bout of laughter and reached over into Fake's pile of stuff and got a huge tin clock, currently in its cigarette-pack-sized form. She scrunched up her face and balanced the clock on her lips and nose. Kesh strode over to Classic and knelt down, examining the pretty young girl. Looking over at Fake, Kesh asked "Was there some sort of poison or narcotic in your weaponry?" "Not that I really know of, but I don't even understand most of that stuff. Just get her away from it! She losing her f*cking composure!" "I tend to agree with you." Kesh said. "Now Classic, what is wrong? Why do you act in such a manner?" Classic looked up at Kesh. "I don't know but it feels grand. I've never been drunk, but this is how it must feel." Classic said, and then looking up at the sky, "What a feeling!" Kesh reached out with his black lines and engulfed Classic. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, dear, but for now let's just get you away from this stuff!" Kesh said, lifting Classic and moving her far from the pile of mortal supplies. "No Kesh! I like that stuff! I like that stuff!" Classic said, whipping around like a rag doll suspended in midair. "Never mind it, it's affecting your mind." Kesh said. "No! No." Classic said, and began crying a little. "Let me see those socks again, Kesh. Let me see it." "I've never seen you this way before, young lady. And I'll not be a party to such hazardous indulgence." Kesh didn't see it, but Classic still had a huge tin clock she had stuck under her shirt. With a "Ha ha! Whee!" she tossed the metal object skyward. "What?" Kesh said, watching as the clock lurched unnaturally upward, growing larger steadily, until after a few seconds it hung diagonally and swaying high up in the air. It cast a huge shadow on the party, and it seemed enormous. As it wobbled, it looked like it might drop on the group at any moment. It's pendulum swung madly back and forth as a silent cuckoo bird shot in and out of its door. "It's gonna fall!" Bith exclaimed, looking up in horror. Elsewhere, at the water treatment plant, some folks were confused. Daptin Gone stood up and surveyed the scene. It was definitely a water treatment plant. They had all collapsed, but were now all getting up. It appeared to be mid-afternoon. "What is it about this place?" Iterator of Rail Avenue asked. "It a fun, fun place!" Pantry Lurkin said, jumping about in a little jig. Granticaine Chug Perion looked around at the flat landscape dotted with huge power line towers and spoke. "No--Iterator of Rail Avenue is right--I feel something--familiar about this place--like--" "--like we work here?" Wreckage Mallie completed. Daptin shook his head. "We do work here, don't we? I mean, we definitely do." "Poo in, faucet out, mister! Ther water treater of all is me and you, you, you. Uh-huh." Pantry Lurkin said, climbing up onto a railing looking over a huge pool of water. "No, you're right Daptin." Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "We do work here. We have for a while." Mallie knelt down and opened his duffel bag, examining the contents, a gun and a pipe. "I realize we work here. I know it's the Arietta Sane City water treatment plant. I know I'm an assistant engineer." Daptin grabbed his forehead and spoke. "But--I mean, I know I don't have to bring this up, but weren't we, like, going to rescue my friend, Fake? And, I mean, I know it's obvious, but we just got here because of the coffee I drank. I mean, we were on the superway at Greatwall just a minute or two ago." "That's true Daptin, but whatever the details, we do have to get back to work. Don't you see that? We have our responsibilities." Granticaine said. "I wanna work. I like it." Pantry said. "Okay, we'll all go back to work in a minute." Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "But first let's sort this thing out with the just getting here, and the mission and everything." "You're right." Mallie said. "There's something here we're missing. It all seems to make sense, but it leaves me with a bad taste in my mind." "To coin a phrase?" Granticaine asked, referring to a song on his home Earth, 'Bad Taste in My Mind'. Just then, Bobby Murph and Kell Weaner came up a ladder onto the roof. "This the new coffee break hangout?" Bobby asked. "Coffee break?" Daptin asked, slightly shocked. "Boss's lookin' for y'all." Kell said. "Says he's got a munity on his hands." Bobby and Kell laughed. Granticaine, Daptin, Pantry, Iterator of Rail Avenue, and Mallie also started laughing--it just seemed funny. "Y'got that new in-line farbin intake, Iterator of Rail Avenue?" Bobby asked. "Yeah, we were supposed to get it Tuesday, but the jerks at Moppis sent it to Hoom!" "Well, we could really use it." Kell said. "Isn't that the truth!" Granticaine said. "Very many truthful, you do know!" Pantry said, walking toward Bobby and Kell. "I like work and good work is the best, Kell." "If anyone likes work, it's you Pantry." Kell said. Daptin looked out over the landscape and called out. "Hey, you guys all go back to work, but like, like me and Grant, we have to talk a little. In private." Grant looked at Daptin, puzzled. "Guy stuff." Daptin said, nodding and looking over at the others. "Okay, I know when a woman isn't wanted." Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "Let's go guys. If we're lucky the two of 'em will get fired and we'll all be happier." Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "Ha ha ha ha! Fire them all, the man said! The man is good, the man fires them all! Ha ha!" Pantry said as he descended down the ladder. "See you two later." Mallie said, and in a few moments Daptin and Grant were alone. "What do you want to talk about, my friend? You don't have a floppy disk, do you?" "No, Grant!" Daptin said through clenched teeth. "We have to talk about this mission thing." "What about it?" "Just look at me! My vest is on fire! I have a f*cking machinegun!" Daptin said, shaking his gun. "And I have no memories of this place." "It's interesting you say that. I mean, I'm aware of what you're saying, yet the situation is undeniable. We work here, and live nearby." Daptin got more agitated. "Yes, yes, yes! The situation does exist, and I know it seems to outshadow all the other issues, but you are Granticaine Chug Perion, war hero and Aconck traveller. Why would you be working at a place like this? We were going to help my friend! We were on our way, and now this." Grant exhaled loudly and shook his head. "Okay--so you're saying this is some sort of--I don't know--psychic attack--messing with our minds?" "I don't know. But Obfuser did tell me the cup of coffee affects situation. He said--he said it wraps situation around you, that's what he said. He said it happened to Tavmatey." Daptin then felt a weird vibration throughout his whole body. With a look of horror on his face, it took him several second to realize the vibration formed the words "Daptin, where are you now?" "Grant, this is getting out of control. That girl Tavmatey, who we talked to in the cup, I just heard her, inside me." "I didn't--" Daptin held his hand up. "I was at school." the vibration came, barely understandable. "What?" Daptin said angrily. "I was at school, that's why I couldn't talk." the vibration came. "Can you--can you hear me?" "Yeah, but it's sort of muddled. I lost you right after you said about communing the cup or something. I had to go to school so I just went, and now I'm back, and I'm so glad I can hear you, Daptin who's not my Daptin." Daptin closed his eyes, cringed, and shook his index finger back and forth trying to remember something." The vibration came yet again. "We had the international festival in--" "Shut up! Shut up!" Daptin said tersely. "Huh?" the vibration came. "Just shut up for a minute!" Grant put his hand on Daptin's shoulder. "You okay, Daptin?" Daptin opened his eyes. "Grant! This whole thing--it kind of makes sense. We do work here because that's the situation, but the situation was just thrust upon us. It's the damn cup, the damn, the damn coffee! It's doing this. It made this situation, somehow. And we have to get away from here." Grant looked down. "I know you're making sense, but if we don't get back to work--" "--what? What will happen? Do you even, do you even know what it looks like, y'know, inside the plant and everything? Can you even remember that?" "Sort of." "Yeah--like the basic layout and stuff--the situation! But not, y'know, like specifics, right?" "No, I guess not. But does that matter? I guess it does matter." Daptin fondled one of his situation grenades. "Yes it does matter. It does. Now I wonder if this damn thing'll work. They called it a situation grenade, said it would disrupt situation. I wasn't really sure what they meant, but now it's making some sense." "You shouldn't do that, not here. Think of the others." Grant said. "I don't want to , but it might be our only chance!" Daptin said, than after looking around again. "Geez!" The two stood there for a couple of moments, silent. Daptin felt a brief vibration within him, but it was very faint. Finally, Grant spoke. "Best I can tell, my mind's been stunned or shocked somehow. And I can't really think clearly." "Dammit Grant! Didn't they get that clarity hang done? Didn't you get it or something?" "Yeah they got it. I mean, we all got it, a few weeks ago." "Well do it, dammit!" "Okay." Grant said, then clearing his throat and in a louder voice. "Eighty-A Clarity!" A smile slowly came to Grant face. "Well?" "Yes it's working. Yes, working very well." "Good. But I don't have it, so you'll have to help me." Grant nodded his head. "Yes of course, but it's not that easy. I have a clear idea of what's going on, but even so, the situation, as you call it, is massively compelling. I'm afraid we'll get caught up in it if we go down to join the others." "We just have to cross sufficient space to get away from here, Grant. We just need to all get out of here." A voice came from the other side of the pool of water. "Okay, what the hell's going on, don't you guys care about the drinking public of Arietta Sane? C'mon, let's get real and get back to work. The torphid levels are not checked, Mr. Gone! You better hope they're baseline!" It was Rickal Nesoffin, the boss. Daptin looked to his friend for help, saying "Grant?" "We can't, um, tell you why right now but we have to stay out here awhile longer, okay?" "No it's not okay, you bums! I don't care if you jerk each other off till the cows go home, but I need work done and that means now, folks." "I quit!" Daptin managed to blurt out. "Yeah, me too." Grant said. Nesoffin was shocked. "Fine! Then clear out your lockers and get out of here!" The two didn't respond. "Get on outta here or I'll have the sheriff escort you out in front of all the ladies. Would you like that?" "You'd do well to reconsider this course of action, friend." Grant said. "I'm not your--" Daptin then brandished his gun and waved it at Nesoffin. "Doesn't it seem at all odd to you that I'm carrying a gun like this? Why would I need a gun? At place like this? Huh?" "I'm not interested in your personal problems." Nesoffin said. Daptin fired a short burst into the air. Nesoffin, not impressed, said "Okay guys, I'm outta here." and walked back into the building via a nearby door. "Grant, we have to get the others out of there and get going!" "I know, but how? If we go down there, we'll get all caught up in it." Daptin thought for a moment, and then took out a huge tin clock. Reaching around in his pockets, he asked "You don't have a pen do you?" "No, why?" Daptin got out the geometric weight marker and sighed. "See, you had one." Grant continued. "I know but it's not a good pen." "Why not?" "Okay, sh*t, what the f*ck." Daptin said as he carefully uncapped the magic marker and write the words "80-A CLARITY" across the face of the clock. He then carefully resealed the pen. "Wish me luck." he said, then louder "Super!" He hurled the clock with all his might far off into the distance. It grew quickly until it hung several miles away up in the air, its pendulum swinging evenly, and it's hugeness appalling. The words Daptin had scrawled were blown up to immense proportions across the face, readable by everyone for miles around. "Cool trick." Grant said. "So what now?" Soon a group of people came out onto the platform where Grant and Daptin stood, gawking in awe and horror at the huge tin clock in the distance. "Okay, who put what in the water?" they heard someone in the crowd say. Soon Iterator of Rail Avenue with Pantry sitting on her shoulders and Mallie came out with the others. Daptin and Grant went over to them. "Say it!" Grant said. "Eighty-A Clarity." Iterator of Rail Avenue said, then immediately, "Wow, I see what you mean." "What is it? Oh yeah, Eighty-A Clarity." Mallie said, then after a few moments "Okay, now I understand about the job and the mission and stuff, but what the hell does that have to do with a UFO disguised as a clock?" "Eighty-A, Eighty-A, Eighty-A Clarity! Eighty-A, Eighty-A, Eighty-A Clarity!" Pantry Lurkin chanted. "Yahoo, I'm a pretty smart boy!" "Daptin doesn't have the hang, so we'll have to help him along. But right now, we have to cross a physical distance of some length to get us out of here, okay? Let's go down the ladder and off down that road, hey? Okay?" That's just what they did, and they were ten minutes into their walk when they heard a massive explosion, as the clock had fallen to the ground. "Damn pen." Daptin said, and just as he said it, they cupslipped again. This time hearing a deep voice saying "Swish." and an image like colorful paint dripping into a whirlpool, along with a flowery scent. When it was over, they were sitting in something like a bathhouse or swimming pool, on turquoise-tiled benches, except there was no water around. There were, however, a number of naked people nearby, some of whom were performing sex acts on one another. Granticaine looked around and sighed. "Give me one of those grenades, won't you, Daptin." Without a word, Daptin handed Grant the grenade. Immediately, Grant pulled the pin and looked dumbly down at it. About ten seconds later, it exploded. The five experienced a silent shimmering around them, and their benches were transformed into tree trunks without any of the group changing position. The sex palace was transformed into a hilly gray wasteland. In the distance, a huge tin clock could be seen wobbling wildly. "Why'd you do that?" Pantry said. "I saw some sex I'm sure I did! I saw it more, but not today! Why escape such lovely peeking, deeny?" "Look--" Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "--over there--the clock. But I thought it fell." "Yes, falling can be done well by a good clock! I fall too! I fall too!" Pantry said in a hyper manner. "It's not the same." Daptin observed. "It doesn't have the writing on it. And this place looks awfully familiar." "Could this be some... " Mallie began. "...I don't know, some alteration of the world we were just in? I mean, a clock like that, I mean, you don't find one just--" "--I'd say we've arrived at our destination. Hey Daptin? Your comrade has those clocks, doesn't she?" Grant said. "Yeah she does." Daptin said. "That could well be one of hers. And I'm just about sure this was the place, though one devastated landscape looks the same as another, I guess." "Yeah--and notice," Grant said. "there isn't any overtly incongruous situation here, as we had in the last two worlds we were in." "Ug! Don't remind me of that last one!" Iterator of Rail Avenue said. "I'm glad you set off that bomb--'cause that was just... so perverted." "Mmm Hmm." Pantry said, looking up at Iterator of Rail Avenue with a deviant smile. "So we just, I guess, should head over that way and, uh, rescue my friend, uh, I--" Daptin said. "--that would seem the best course of action, but we should be prepared for combat." Grant said. "I wanna try and reason with them." Daptin said. "After what happened to me when I ate the goodbye popcorn and woke up billions of years after the end of the universe, I don't wanna have anything else to do with that damn cup of coffee. They can f*cking have it." "That's fine, Daptin, but remember--our goal is to retrieve your friend and return home safely. We need to guarantee that will happen--and if giving them the cup does it without loss of life, all the better. But we don't know how desperate they are or what they're willing to do, so let's be on edge." Grant said. "Okay." Daptin said distantly. Grant began walking up a slight incline toward the clock, and the rest fell into step behind him. "If it's a fight they want," Daptin said, loosely holding his gun to his chest. "it's a fight they'll get." "I kinda hope there'll be a fight." Wreckage Mallie said. "I need the exercise." "I'm gonna use my magic to kill. Oh yes!" Pantry exclaimed. "Now Pantry, is that nice?" Iterator of Rail Avenue said in a light admonishing tone. "Yes." Pantry stated, staring blankly off into the distance. "I mean--let's put it this way. If all they want is the damn cup, they can have it. I should've just brought it." Daptin said. "But then we have nothing to bargain with." Mallie said. "If they're stronger than us, we'd be dead. As it is, they need us to get the cup." "How the hell are we getting back, anyway?" Daptin said. "I mean, when the true coffee in my system vanishes, like, I know we're supposed to return, but where? Near the cup?" "I very much hope so." the group heard from behind them. Turning around, they saw Pattern Integrity hovering in the air and pointing her Massive Assault Weapon at them. Instantly, Grant recognized her uniform as from the same army he was in. "Now just relax." Daptin said, holding up his hands. "We don't need a repeat of last time. I'm willing to give up the cup, but I need my friends back." "If that's true, why'd you bring back-up and why don't I see the cup?" Pattern asked. "Because you are an unknown enemy, and force is the universal language. One that we're somewhat fluent in, Major." Granticaine said. Pattern looked down at the emblem on her shoulder and then back at Grant, studying him. "You're not Lord Perion, are you?" she asked. "I am Granticaine Perion, young lady. I see you wear the colors of Dramptica, but your uniform and weapon are strange. Are you indeed in the Barzhims?" "I was once." Pattern said, raising her weapon away from the group cautiously. "Now I seek the cup." "Where are my friends?" Daptin asked. "Over by the clock." Pattern said, and then returning a fascinated gaze to Grant. "How could it really be you? You're long dead. I mean, I've seen some strange things these past decades, but never a major historical figure." "I was major when I killed President Emmerdine, but the war was already won." Grant said. "Are you kidding? You were Lord Emperor. You ruled over half the world. And we're still fighting for the other half in your great-great-great-granddaughter's name." "I don't know anything about that." Grant said. "You were our great leader. You turned all of history around." "Well I'm not into politics, so you must have the wrong guy." Grant said. "It was your well-known reluctance to get involved which finally propelled you to the top, when things got out of hand." "You're talking about something which is in the distant future. I suppose that's where you're from. What year?" "When I left, it was 366 NN." "Well, to me it's almost 131 NN, so I guess we have a time travel thing here." Pattern stared at Grant and appeared to be daydreaming. She seemed a lot happier than she had been just moments earlier. "I'll go back and tell the others you're coming. I'm sure we can work something out. Just head for the clock." Pattern said, and then vanished, only to reappear a second later. "I just have to tell you, Lord Perion, I had such a crush on you when we studied you in school, especially the young you!" Pattern stared another moment at Grant, smiling broadly, and then disappeared again. "I think she likes you." Daptin said. "We have a crazy time spinner, a spin a time, a look look look Lord Perion, A look look look Lord Perion." Pantry said. "Don't call me that, pest." Grant said. "So should we head for the clock?" Daptin asked. "Why not? Grant's new girlfriend should sort everything out up there." Mallie says. Grant gave Mallie a dirty look, but said nothing. They all started toward the clock. *OW* [[13012AX]] Appendix Confused? Here's Everything You Need to Know! (This information is reprinted every issue in essentially the same form.) The ezine OsoaWeek is the central product of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Each weekly issue is prepared as a plain vanilla ASCII file not less than 50K and not exceeding 100K, with the goal of being readable on as many computers as possible. Mac users will likely get little boxes on the lefthand column--this is due to the "hard return" needed at the end of every line on DOS machines. You can live with them, or search-and-replace them away (but please don't distribute any altered copies of OW!). Meaning of codes: The first two-digit number is the sequential section number in this issue of OsoaWeek. The next three-digit number is the issue number of this OsoaWeek. The last element, a 2-character code, is shorthand for a given feature. To search: To find the beginning of the next section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets with no spaces. To find a particular section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets followed by the two-digit section number, with no spaces. To find a particular feature, search for the string containing the two-character code followed by two righthand brackets, with no spaces. Using the latter method, you can find a particular feature in any issue of OsoaWeek without even referring to the contents. The Contents are divided into three sections: (a) the introductory, informative, housekeeping sort of features, (b) stuff directly relating to the playing of Osoa, such as new Fonostas, events, info, etc., and (c) the general entertaining and informative section. These three areas are casual and separated for ease of use. To make it easy, in EVERY issue of OsoaWeek, the first section starts with Masthead (MH), the second with State of Obliviana (SO), and the third with Hemisinister Review (HR). 1-800-OBLIVIANA--This toll-free number can be called anytime from any phone in the Continental USA for the latest information on Obliviana, including samples of Obliviana sound bites! Acknowledgments: I would like to thank my girlfriend Kerri for putting up with me while I spend countless hours developing OsoaWeek--thanks Kerri, I love you! This Appendix is located at the end of the file because it contains boring, repetitive info you wouldn't want in your way. Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) is an endeavor created by Frank Edward Nora, AKA, Lord of Obliviana. Osoa is fully independent and not affiliated with any other organization, belief, etc. Here's a detailed introduction to Osoa: You know there's something else going on in this world, but you can't quite pin it down. And you know there's something else going on with YOU. But it ever eludes you, and teases you, these glimpses of otherness. On the subject of explaining the world, people generally consider that science and religion form a complete scale. Science dealing with the measurable and observable, and religion dealing with the supernatural and mysterious. But really, science is limited to physical measurement and observation, and religion is limited to gods, supernatural beings, how the world was created, and what happens to us when we die. But if you consider it, there is a vast realm of human experience which does not fall into either category. It is this realm that I call Obliviana. Dreams, hunches, deja vu, luck, humor, creativity, emotions, intuition, events "working themselves out", psychic phenomenon, the atmospheres of certain places, memories from childhood, ruts, coincidence, "small world", and more. These are just the tip of the iceberg in Obliviana! Who knows what other exhilarating phenomena await our exploration? With the dawn of the Digital Superworld, that complex and ever-expanding interconnection of computers, networks, and the like, the realm of human endeavor is drastically changed. We have glimpsed a danger in the mesmerizing qualities of even the worst television. In the Digital Superworld, this effect is magnified by several orders of magnitude--so even the cheapest and most worthless online activities become irresistibly engaging and addictive. Imagine a population fully engaged in such tripe--jacked in, spending more and more time engrossed in such pointless, empty activities as computers and robots do more and more of the work. Not a pretty picture, is it? It is partially with the intent of preventing this nightmare that Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) was established on July 28, 1994. Osoa is the first and greatest endeavor to provide the world with a viable, broad-based, universally-compelling endeavor to provide CONTEXT in the Digital Superworld. The exploration of Obliviana can be undertaken in a wild variety of ways. Check out the eleven Osoa Flowers (introduced in OsoaWeek001) for details. Also check out the first issue for details on establishing your very own Fonosta! Osoa is an innovative and far-reaching game. Why a game? Well, aren't most explorations really games when you come right down to it? And, as a practical matter, some of the elements in Obliviana are too bizarre to be presented as anything OTHER than a game. So Obliviana as game can be looked at as shielding and candy-coating, but can also be viewed as cutting to the heart of the matter--hey, exploring the realm of Obliviana is not vital to our ongoing survival, but it is pretty darn entertaining and satisfying. It is with the game of Obliviana running on the ever-expanding Digital Superworld that we can abandon the mediocrity of the past and make something very new, wild, and now. *OW* [[END012OW]] -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----