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|| -------- -- ----- A E R I E O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- OSOAWEEK BOOK 1 -------- || OsoaWeek || Books || -------> (Cup OWbk001, Created v1 (4/27/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = || 001 || 002 || 003 || 004 || 005 || 006 || 007 || 008 || 009 || 010 || 011 || 012 || 013 || ------------------- OsoaWeek001 7/28/94 ----------- Get ready to enter a universe of very cool entertainment--a universe called Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (or Osoa for short). OsoaWeek is the weekly magazine of Osoa, distributed in electronic form, which is absolutely free to all takers! All material contained in OsoaWeek is totally original, and the whole thing is quite massive and insane! Here's the lowdown on this issue... Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04001LO) is the place where Frank Edward Nora, AKA Lord of Obliviana will share his innermost secrets and dreams with you! Well, that's not quite true--he'll basically just rant and rave about how great Osoa is and how his life is crap due to all the work he does on it. Something like that. Your E-Mail is Gonna Come (05001EM) to Osoa, and be answered by the Lord of Obliviana. Unfortunately, this being the first issue, the Lord had to improvise a little... Nihilistica (06001NH) presents miscellaneous lists, facts, figures, quips, news items, and the like. This time you'll get "The Nine Brides of Exho", "Gaohid", and a whole lot more. Very wonderful. Catalog of Obliviana (07001CO) introduces stuff you can actually BUY from Osoa, as opposed to getting free, like OsoaWeek and Fonosta and whatever the heck else. Check out the amazingly professional Pelter CD-ROM of clip textures, Miniature Super Object #1, and Perfect Fovy! The State of Osoa (08001SO) is here! Find out what the blazes is going on in the exhilarating universe of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement! This time, the scene is set, and you, YES YOU, are given an opportunity to be one of the first kids on your block to become an Osoan! How to Establish Your Fonosta (09001EF) has everything you need to establish your Fonosta! It's a whole lot of fun, and best of all, it's FREE! Did you hear that? FREE! Sounds nice, doesn't it? FREE! FREE! FREE! In the Flowers (10001IF) is the weekly features that takes a look at what's happening in all eleven Flowers. Each one is a major area of thought and action in Osoa--as a whole, quite a fantastic realm of endeavor! Acquaint yourself with them, eh? Obliviana Primal Beat (11001OP) introduces us all to the coolest virtual universe ever--Obliviana Primal! Check out all 19 ultra-awesome Domains, and decide which one you want to live in! If you check in early, you'll be a major powerhouse when Obliviana Primal finally goes online! Antebellum (12001AB) is an awesome scenario set in New Jersey, where 118 fighter, called Bellums, vie for supremacy! Get introduced to all 118--and choose your favorite! You'll be so glad you did. Hemisinister Review (13001HR) brings you reviews of all sorts of stuff! This time, ten recent films are reviewed, including "True Lies" and "The Lion King". Also, 16 new Crayola crayon colors from 1993 are delved into. For crazy reviews, you can always turn to Hemisinister ! Halfevil Times (14001HT) is a horribly funny feature, this time featuring your, uh, accurate and dependable horoscope. Laugh your ass off, pal! Assignment: Mystery Box (15001MB), where star Peter Litkey is put to the ultimate test when he opens the Mystery Box and has to do all sorts of insane stuff with whatever he might find inside. See for yourself how well he did! New Jersey (16001NJ) is the greatest place on Earth, if you didn't already know, and here we take a close-up look at all sorts of cool places to go and things to do in the Garden State. Included this time around are Swedish furniture superstore "Ikea", and classic game paradise, "Video Game Connections". Zope (17001ZP), star of his own wild comic strip, takes a stab at the world of text. Check out Zope's unnecessarily violent and peculiar antics in today's episode, "Zope & A Victim of Beverage Hostility". Friction Enhancer (18001FE) presents some very unexpected forms of entertaining oneself--forms of entertainment which can alter the very fabric of reality around you! This time, check out the all-time classic "Mallball"--you'll be so pleased you did. Superior (19001SU) presents the first eight Superiors! Each is a little passage of text which evokes strange and potentially hazardous visions. Not for the meek of spirit, and DEFINITELY not poetry, or so says Mr. Nora. Severe Repair (20001SR) begin the saga of a wonderfully strange, yet oddly familiar universe inhabited by a Pandora's Box of wonderful characters. In this first installment, entitled "Bastard Dumb Luck Calling", you'll be introduced to the green-haired Daptin Gone, and his experience with a little fellow known as Fox. Also, you'll be privy to the hijinks at Spoin Hall at Thatterine College, where students are gathered to watch tapes of their favorite cult TV show, "Johnny Pitch". And finally, you'll discover the deep musings of one Tavmatey Numblem, home from a glorious day and seeking cool ideals. Check out Severe Repair for an awesome new kind of sci-fi/fantasy experience! Appendix (21001AX) contains all sorts of useful, ancillary information to help you understand OsoaWeek, including the answer to that burning question, "What the hell is this stupid Obliviana thing anyway?" NEXT WEEK: OsoaWeek002, August 4, 1994--the coolness just keeps on coming! More Superior! More Halfevil Times! More Severe Repair! More of everything! And hey, if you're in the future, you can download it RIGHT NOW! ------------------- OsoaWeek002 8/4/94 ----------- The Osoa train just keeps on rolling along! And while this issue, OsoaWeek002, isn't quite as stuffed-to-the-gills as the first issue was, it's full of excellent stuff to mildly amuse or shockingly amaze you! Check it out! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04002LO) gets into a real heavy discussion about how the emerging Digital Superworld will destroy the spirit of humanity if we aren't careful. This, and other cheerful topics! Your E-Mail is Gonna Come (05002EM), and we're still hoping it will, but for now, the highly irritating and non-existent Benny is back with another stupid fake letter. Please folks, send that e-mail! If not, Benny may become a regular. Nihilistica (06002NH) presents its usual dizzying array of quips, quotes, lists, facts, info, and whatever else. This time, get your first glimpse of some new Artifacts in development, including "Zopekeep" and "Modern Sapling". Also, what do "Toe Crud Anesthesia", "God Non-Dairy Creamer Elation", and "Insulting Citrus" have in common? Check out Nihilistica for the answer! Catalog of Obliviana (07002CO) presents all the Obliviana Artifacts currently available, including the awesome "Pelter CD-ROM", the hypercool "Non-Thorium Antenna", and the very rare "OsoaWeek001 Hard Copy Version One"! Get 'em while they're still quivering from the rush of being created! The State of Osoa (08002SO) leads you into the convoluted labyrinths of Obliviana and introduces you to the idea of Corridor--the stream of events which holds you back from being as free as you wanna be! Break loose with The State of Osoa! Fonosta World (09002FW) brings you the very first Fonosta to be registered--Frank's! Yes, while no one else has submitted a Fonosta establishment, at least our beloved Lord of Obliviana has. Get your Fonostas in, folks! You can still get a very hip single-digit number! Hemisinister Review (10002HR) includes a review of the new film "The Mask", and a critical look at the 11 teams of the long-forgotten World League of American Football. Halfevil Times (11002HT) presents classified ads as only Halfevil Times could. Looking for a job? Apply for a position as a Lobo Doper or Tea Nervewracker. Looking for a bargain? Great deals on Bright Lice, Hamburger Trees, and Mystery Bums can be found! See it to believe it. New Jersey (12002NJ) introduces you to one of the coolest places in our glorious Garden State--Displayworld! Get the lowdown on this stone museum, building supply showroom, defunct amusement park, boulder retailer, arboretum, and oh so much more! You'll be very pleased you did. Zope (13002ZP) shows his sensitive side in today's episode, entitled "Zope's Very Large Lawnmower". Not for the weak of heart. Friction Enhancer (14002FE) brings you the complex "Pebbleswitch", in which you must travel from town to town based on the title of a book, fiddling with pebbles all the while. Great for parties! Superior (15002SU) gives you eight more of the most elegantly lugubrious pieces of text which are not, by any stretch of the imagination, poetry. Got that? Severe Repair (16002SR) continues from last issue with "Map Shirt Goddess", the odd tale of how a banished god is overwhelmed by an alternate past which erases his true history! Meet some of the gods and goddesses of Agoopish, including Janine Engineen, El Flactor Floor, and Well Doctarca! Appendix (17002AX) gives you all the dull, repetitive information you need. Refer to it, by all means, if you get confused, or just feel the urge to know the answer to that persistent question, "What the hell is all this Obliviana crap?" NEXT WEEK: OsoaWeek003, August 11, 1994--more cool stuff, including a delving into the Flowers and Digs of Osoa! Be there! In fact, let's all be there! ------------------- OsoaWeek003 8/11/94 ----------- Welcome to the wonderful universe of OsoaWeek003! This is the third weekly installment of the ezine of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement--and it really is chock full of excellent stuff for your pleasure. I know you're gonna love it! Here's the lowdown, check it out... Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04003LO) deals with that mistaken notion that the 90's were supposed to be cool and hip like the 60's. Also, you've heard of VR, RISC, VRAM, RGB and the like--well, get ready for DENTA--the coolest new computer megaconcept! Your E-Mail is Gonna Come (05003EM) presents a real letter! An actual, real, honest-to-goodness letter, as opposed to the fake ones of the last two issues. Isn't that great? Did I mention it's REAL? A REAL LETTER! Nihilistica (06003NH) covers its usual span of lists, info, quips, reference, and the like! This time, check out a special message for all friendly time travellers from the future! Also, get into a complete list of Pelter clip textures. If that's not more than enough, you'll also get a secret coffee recipe and a preview of "Diary of a Dreamfrank". Sheesh! Are you lucky or what? Catalog of Obliviana (07003CO) let's you in on all the excellent artifacts available via mail order. Actual stuff you can get! Stuff with weight, with mass! Stuff that's not totally digital! Check out the brand new "Read This or Die!" and a lot of other cool stuff! Buy. The State of Osoa (08003SO) what's so great about the number 209? I thought you'd never ask! It's all here--well--a sketchy overview of the nature of 209 is here, at least. Your first step into an amazing realm--the realm of Obliviana! Fonosta World (09003FW) gives you Fonosta 002, "Maximo the Optic". Send in your Fonosta and you, too, will appear in the amazing Fonosta World! Hemisinister Review (10003HR) asks the pressing question "What the hell's with this Fruitopia crap?" Also, check out what's hot and what's not in the world of hot pepper! And click that clicker with a look at what to watch on cable, including "Absolutely Fabulous", "Newsweasels", and "Howard Stern". Halfevil Times (11003HT) brings you more sick amusement, but some on, you know you like it! This time, perceive and ponder some perceptions and ponderings, read some more of those wacky classified ads, and find out who would win in a fight in the original and the best, "Classic Fights"! Lose your composure with Halfevil Times! New Jersey (12003NJ) gives you two more cool places to venture forth to in the Garden State. This time, seek out "The Devil Tree", a horribly evil tree standing in the middle of an ominous field. Also, visit one of the coolest stores in NJ, as well as the planet--Incogneeto! Zope (13003ZP) has our hero in a strange situation--being reprimanded for killing billions of innocent people--by being forced to be a camp counselor. Hypernatural mayhem soon ensues in "Get Harpoon, The Game". Friction Enhancer (14003FE) challenges you to mix together V-8. Yoo-Hoo, and Welch's Grape Soda--and drink the resultant concoction. This and other weird mixtures await you with "Reality Tonic"! Superior (15003SU) starts off with "I area to deeply voice a booming call", swerves insanely through "pretty road, dark dangerous river", to "the blond braids of honor and hyperdesire" and finally to "eel din din el men in din jepser tee", with a lot in-between! What the hell! Severe Repair (16003SR) #3 is "Goodbye Popcorn", an awesome tale of how Daptin Gone and Fake Cerquaine equip themselves for a fateful mission at Nashin-Yogo's Basement-Wall-Thursday Mortal Supply House! Plus weird faeries! Appendix (17003AX) is just about exactly the same as last time, but what the heck--it's the stuff you need to know--and not everyone has instant access to the back issues! NEXT WEEK: OsoaWeek004, August 18, 1994--More coolness, don't you know! ------------------- OsoaWeek004 8/18/94 ----------- Hey there citizen! Welcome to the incredibly fun world of OsoaWeek, a weekly ezine bursting at the seams with cool stuff to discover! From humor to sci-fi, from reviews to weirdness, you'll find a lot to stimulate your sense in the pages of OsoaWeek. This week's installment, OsoaWeek004, is no exception. Just check out all the wonderful treats in store for ya! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04004LO) finds the Lord of Obliviana, Frank Edward Nora, declaring that DENTA is now VIAT, and how a busted monitor almost caused the early demise of OsoaWeek--ALMOST. Your E-Mail is Gonna Come (05004EM) we thought, but yet again, we're faced with a mailless week, and the crummy little non-existent Benny is brought back from the grave for another of his inspiring bits of correspondence. Nihilistica (06004NH) answers the question "what came before OsoaWeek"--and boy, does it answer it! 97 publications are listed, from 1986 to the present, which laid the groundwork for OsoaWeek. Also, we take a look at the ongoing tragedy of "Newsweasels", as well as another episode of "Did You Know It?" Catalog of Obliviana (07004CO) has a lot of cool stuff you can get, so get over there and start getting! The State of Osoa (08004SO) clarifies, to some extent, what this whole Obliviana-as-game thing is all about. Learn how YOU can start playing Osoa--for free and without joining anything! Fonosta World (09004FW) lets you know that when you send in your Fonosta, you'll get a cool thank-you note in the mail, which can double as a sort of ID card, and which contains a secret word just for you! Obliviana Primal Beat (10004OP) Power is Good Tower? Valley of Revolvers? Nevertoll Road? Serious Canyon? Concert Night 1983 World? Check out this feature to get the deal on these cool new additions to the OP world! Hemisinister Review (11004HR) delves into the "unique alcohol beverage" Zima, the fantastic snack "Vlasic Pickles To Go", and gives you the lowdown on seven elements, including yttrium, ytterbium, and bismuth! Halfevil Times (12004HT) present more of those great Perception and Ponderings, such as "Ever wonder if we could have used Janet Reno's face the stop that comet from hitting Jupiter?" and "Ever notice how fun it is to get someone who hates videogames hooked on Tetris?" Assignment: Mystery Box (13004MB) gives star Peter Litkey his most challenging item to date--"New Kids on the Block" trading cards! See how he fared. New Jersey (14004NJ) takes you to Menlo Park, where you can hang out at the site of Thomas Edison's original laboratory, where a 130 ft. tower now stands in his honor. Also, check out the bizarre store Arcadian Gardens, last remnant of the old Menlo Park Mall! Zope (15004ZP) has a blast in today's episode, entitled "Zope and the Wine Flautist", where a horrid creature Master Joe bought at Vlorpic Evilmart amuses the gang to no end. Friction Enhancer (16004FE) gives you "Cup 14", a challenge in which you must buy a cup and then get rid of it after travelling 14 miles. If that's too much for you, check out "Cup 14 Lite", which is, like, a lot easier! Superior (17004SU) starts off with "unearth some ancient fried eggs", zooms toward "motionblack supramazing Route 80 tonight", careens into "snowflaw car, the day of the eatery's salad bar super tray" and winds up at "I scowl, bad cop!" Get it? No? WELL TRY A LITTLE HARDER, DAMMIT! Severe Repair (18004SR) is another sci-fi masterpiece, with this week's installment, "Awake Fluffy Netherf*ck"! Meet Prince Ferrajalt and learn why he dreads the arrival of family friends the Polants. Then get acquainted with Agoopi god Pluckemin Hacksaw, who gets pretty pissed off in a traffic jam. Finally, get to know Fluffy herself when she wakes up after sleeping for an entire week. Such wonders await you in the realm of Severe Repair! Welcome all explorers! Appendix (19004AX) is the place to go if you're confused, bewildered, disturbed, miffed, befuddled, or quizzical. NEXT WEEK: OsoaWeek005, August 25, 1994--another awesome installment of between 50K and 100K of the most rad and like totally awesome stuff like in the whole entire universe! Get it. ------------------- OsoaWeek005 8/25/94 ----------- OsoaWeek is an impressive, cutting edge, weekly ezine chock full of essential stuff for GenXers and other decent folks! In this, the fifth issue, you'll find a whole lot of really nice stuff to feed your craving for information, entertainment, and stimulation. Here's some of what you'll find! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04005LO) relates a strange experience Frank Edward Nora had Tuesday morning--where the words "Dexy's Midnight Runners" flashed into his mind the moment he woke up! Nihilistica (05005NH) gives you some very cool previews of things to come, including "Jaguar Dreams", "What is Stupid Exposure Frigate?", "The Obliviana Channel", and "Codingseeds Chaotic"! Catalog of Obliviana (06005CO) has a lot of cool stuff for you to buy, which you really should buy, you know. And this issue marks perhaps the last time that ALL existing Obliviana Artifacts are available for purchase. Each Obliviana Artifact is produced in extremely limited quantities, so take advantage of this early stage in Osoan history and BUY BUY BUY! The State of Osoa (07005SO) brings you the shockingly simple core concept of the entire Obliviana Super Occult Amusement milieu. In fact, this sneak preview of The State of Osoa is longer than the feature itself! Get into the essence of Osoa! Fonosta World (08005FW) has the Fonosta of Peter Litkey, star of Assignment: Mystery Box! See all the things he chose! And yes folks, the next Mystery Box is in the works, and should be finished within the next few weeks! Hemisinister Review (09005HR)--Can we talk snacks? Can we? If so, you'll find a delightful assortment of snack reviews, including "Veggie Pockets", "Corn Nuts", and "Pop-Secret Pop Chips"! Very yummy, don't you know. Halfevil Times (10005HT)--Time again for the Halfevil Times Classifieds! Peruse at you leisure the Help Wanted (ie, Androidsmith), For Sale (ie, Almighty Sweater), and Lost & Found (ie, Found--The BMW Ape). Heck--you never know what you might find! Friction Enhancer (11005FE) brings you "Lapmall", a fine little Friction Enhancer, in which you must walk all the way around a bunch of different malls. It's more fun than you might think! Give it a shot! Yeah, go on! Superior (12005SU) starts off with "this is not the train it was", travels to "flip your relatives", smacks into "bother, Imher the rail guy" and finally slams to a halt at "you're gneiss". A bunch of irregular passages for your unstable spiritual consumption. You know? Severe Repair (13005SR)--This time, get ready for "Bicentennial Cane", where Tanner Loblolly sits down for a chat with a bunch of gods and goddesses, including Fluffy Netherf*ck, Mem Elemorty, Little Fisher, and Little Red Thread. Also, check out Violent Evan, a tiny hippo god guy trapped in a pocket universe who throws up an odd black substance called "murder". Severe Repair--like a NordicTrack for your imagination! Appendix (14005AX) asks "Are you confused by Osoa? Severely confused?" If so take a look at the Appendix and get the answers to some of your questions. You'll feel smarter if you do. ------------------- OsoaWeek006 9/1/94 ----------- Well whattaya know! Another fantabulous issue of OsoaWeek has arrived for your reading pleasure! And for all you kids going back to school this week, take a hearty dose of Obliviana and you'll be like spaced out man and not care that you're back in goddam school for another year. And for all of us adults who no longer have to go to school, let's have a good laugh at all these kids! Well, until we have to go off to work in the morning, that is. Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04006LO) is just another day for our weary Lord. Most all of his previous publications have self-destructed before issue 6, so you can understand why he's so flustered today! Your E-Mail is Gonna Come (05006EM) brings you a real, real, real, real, real letter. A true piece of actual e-mail from a real actual person. And as if that's not enough, the Lord of Obliviana actually responds to it! Thrilling, eh? Nihilistica (06006NH) proposes a cool publication, called "OsoaWeek Quarterly Output", which would collect 13 issues of OsoaWeek every 3 months in a physically-printed form. Also, check out the perturbing "4 Disks and 4 Woodflooras". Catalog of Obliviana (07006CO) offers you a lot of cool stuff to buy! You can't hold this issue of OsoaWeek in your hands, but you can sure hold an Obliviana Artifact in your hands! Order today, heck, ORDER NOW! The State of Osoa (08006SO)--you know that Obliviana is a place, but where the heck is it? Find out in this scintillating piece of rad authorhood! Hemisinister Review (09006HR) reviews all sorts of stuff, all the time! This time, check out how movies like "Natural Born Killers" and "Barcelona" rate against other movies from the recent past. Halfevil Times (10006HT)--more of those darn Perceptions & Ponderings this time, such as "Ever wonder if nuking Japan a few more times will finally get them to change their trade policy toward the U.S.?" and "Ever notice that police car lights get funkier and funkier every year?" Great stuff. Superior (11006SU) takes you on a tour of the bizarre, beginning at "Aside, low maker of flimsia!", on to "Free in a clearing were bolt haven the corner mazen.", zooming by "Chomp into poison chair, nails horns in solids above." and colliding with "You'll be happy at four million o'clock on October 412th, 1973." at the end. Bogus! Severe Repair (12006SR)--this time check out "You're a Good Man for Crying on the Job", where newlywed Sleap Drassy makes a horrible discovery. Also, Tanner and Fluffy go on a wild car chase when Little Fisher gets kidnapped by extremists. Awesome sci-fi fun for the whole gang! Appendix (13006AX)--gimme some information, dammit! If this sounds like you, you need to check out the Appendix, to find out what the hell is going on, don't you know. ------------------- OsoaWeek007 9/8/94 ----------- Well people, you know, you're really in luck to be reading this, a brief description of what you'll find inside the 7th issue of OsoaWeek! And as usual, the best magazine in the world is free and without physical form! Get all Obliviana! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04007LO)--Frank Edward Nora makes a bold prediction--that we're quickly approaching the end of our lazy early 90's wonderland, and facing an imposing mid 90's of technological upheaval! Read all about it. Nihilistica (05007NH) brings you a brief, yet complete history of Obliviana--from its roots in high school nerdhood to the adult nerdhood of today! Also, watch helplessly as the Lord of Obliviana brags about all the Atari 2600 cartridges he brought home one day a few weeks ago! Catalog of Obliviana (06007CO) has, yet again, a bunch of cool items you can mail order directly from Osoa! Get beyond the immaterial reality of ASCII and get some Obliviana stuff you can touch, hold, and fondle! The State of Osoa (07007SO) reveals the plan by which we seek to discover a way to the place called Obliviana. If you're interested in being a pioneer on a brand new frontier, take a peek at these cool (yet sketchy) plans! Hemisinister Review (08007HR) asks "Are you tired of magazines constantly trashing CD's in their reviews?" Well, we have the answer--this week, we're only reviewing GOOD CD's! Check out this list of music you really ought to own! Halfevil Times (09007HT) brings you yet another excursion into the scary realm of the HALFEVIL TIMES HOROSCOPE! Some samples... Befriend an emaciated chipmunk. Spurn the "Vimp" trend. Be sure to cheat when playing cribbage with mermaids. Lick Bernadette. Superior (10007SU) takes you on a trip from "Drave is the with the tools for it" around to "the radar echo would indicate lifeheat" beyond "I feel like I'm talking to a wall and I don't like that feeling" and finally squishing into "it was Izzy a kid who would sometimes help the retarded kids for some reason". Get tired and weird with Superior! Severe Repair (11007SR)--get ready for "Yellowhaus", a cool team of five yellowish heroes--Chamomile, Sulfur, Lemon, Canary, and Buff, as they prepare for the end of the world! Also, meet the crew of pirate ship Urbandersnacheron IV, including Norlime Eckert and the weird bird guy Zoipin Jurple Jupter! And finally, check out Daptin and Fake as they're briefed for their first Mortal mission by the Caxopy sisters! Super sci-fi fun for all! Appendix (12007AX)--If you find yourself stunned and/or comatose after reading this outline of OsoaWeek007, please check out the Appendix where you'll find some sort of explanation for all this madness! ------------------- OsoaWeek008 9/15/94 ----------- Hey there you! Stop a second and give OsoaWeek a chance! It's a great ezine full of humor, reviews, supernatural mayhem, and an ongoing sci-fi tale called "Severe Repair"! And best of all, a brand new issue comes out every week! So check it out. Who knows? OsoaWeek might become a pleasant part of your weekly lifestyle! Yeah! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04008LO)--Just back from a whirlwind "Hyperdisney Experience", Frank Edward Nora has very little to say, but says what he does say very well. Eh? Nihilistica (05008NH) brings you a preview of a wonderful new video game called "Fey Hunting", in which you play as the beautiful Hunting as she endeavors to "Destroy Evil Building!" Also, another great coffee recipe called STP--"Saffron-Tabasco-Postum"! Catalog of Obliviana (06008CO) has some really cool stuff for you to buy! Ultra-limited artifacts, each signed and numbered by the Lord of Obliviana himself! Be the first in your country or origin to get an Obliviana Artifact! The State of Osoa (07008SO) sets forth a technical explanation of how Obliviana can coexist with the real world--using a piece of aluminum foil to demonstrate! Hemisinister Review (08008HR) has reviews of a number of human emotions this time, including Pride, Fear, and Loneliness! Halfevil Times (09008HT) throws a lot of Perceptions & Ponderings your way, including "Ever wonder why, if E=mc2, fat people aren't more energetic?" and "Ever notice that Dana Plato is less intelligent than the original Plato?" Wow! Superior (10008SU) begins at "And it's a hunting. It's a knockout.", swerves mercilessly toward "force imps disassembling churches, force the bemuser devasta sleep", crashes through "go to a store and relax and these are the days of sleep", and thuds to a stop in "a phone call mall". Do stop by! Severe Repair (11008SR)--in this week's installment, "Cup's Club", we find Daptin Gone and Fake Cerquaine getting ready for their first mortal mission. Then, along with loser Jerald Hapal Hatch, they set forth for Boltpike through a bridge at a shopping mall! But things go terribly wrong and they wind up in an impossible world facing Cup's Club! Check out this explosive chapter in the saga of Severe Repair! Yes indeed! Appendix (12008AX) is where to look when you are confused. It may help. ------------------- OsoaWeek009 9/22/94 ----------- People, let's talk. It's been eight weeks since OsoaWeek began, and in that time, there's been a myriad of wonders for all to experience in this ezine! If you're just finding this file, check it out! And also locate and download the previous eight issues for an amazing amount of stimulating text that'll keep you occupied for a while! Y'know! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04009LO) reveals a whole new core concept of Obliviana--involving our Contemporary Terrain and how cyberspace fits into it--revealing a powerful tool for finding the hidden world of Obliviana! Nihilistica (05009NH) introduces y'all to a very cool collection of fonts designed by none other then the Lord of Obliviana! The Balbitype 26 is a collection of 26 typefaces, each of which contains only 26 characters, taking the idea of display type to an exciting extreme! Catalog of Obliviana (06009CO) has all that great stuff you really ought to rev yourself up and order! Included are Pelter CD-ROM (a must for those of you with a CD-ROM equipped Mac) and Read This or Die!--an awesome collection of Zope comics, spanning the better part of a decade! Get yours hands on these and other ultra-limited, numbered, signed, and stamped artifacts! The State of Osoa (07009SO) takes a look back--way, way back at OsoaWeek001, eight long weeks ago! The differences between Osoa then and now are explored, as well as future plans for a major overhaul of the nascent Osoa system! Hemisinister Review (08009HR) delivers an in-depth look at Walt Disney World, a Vacation Kingdom in transition! Join the Lord of Obliviana as he details his whirlwind 40 hours "hyperdisney experience", reviewing 18 different features and attractions, including the rumored FOURTH THEME PARK! Halfevil Times (09009HT) brings you yet another installment of Classic Fights, with your friendly neighborhood prognosticators, Iggy Szalzo and Gil Mannings! This time, find out who would win if the Carolina Panthers fought the Naked Girl from the Designer Impostors TV Commercial! Superior (10009SU) sets forth with "nervous system melting, surroundings collapsing", chugs along past "that time, that rainy days were, that fine time", falls over onto "moved in suproccult may hem the daughter", and end with the mysterious words "All of us are unbeatles!". It's a blast from the blast with Superior! Severe Repair (11009SR)--this time, in "Pattern Integrity", we find Fake, Daptin, and Jerald in a violent confrontation with Cup's Club! The chapter opens right after Fake set of a massive wave of destruction with a slay balloon. Soon, Daptin makes a serious mistake and finds himself standing in a desolate area long after the end of the universe--but can the Ultra Occult Entity Obfuser save him? Check out the story to find out! Appendix (12009AX) has the answers! You know, man? Check it out! ------------------- OsoaWeek010 9/29/94 ----------- Well now whattaya know--another quite awesomely fine issue of OsoaWeek--you know--OsoaWeek, the esteemed ezine of the info dataways! Um, so you really do need to read this issue, and to let you in on just what you'll miss if you avoid it, here's a cool preview of the sneak kind of this issue! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04010LO)--this lengthy introduction touches upon numerous important issues, including the new central focus of Osoa, "Tourney", VIAT, a motorcycle dream, Severe Repair, Saturn Return, The Waltons, The 700 Club, Taco Bell incompetence, Uncle Floyd, V-8, and a lot more! True rambling for the true rambling connoisseur! Nihilistica (05010NH) brings you a wonderful list of Little Frankie Nora's 256 songs, including "Murder in Martinsville", "Acid Snow", "Peggy's Playroom", "Radio Pancreas", "Fun With Chainsaw", "Shatter Cider", and "I am God". Quite the monster list of awesomosity! Catalog of Obliviana (06010CO)--do you wanna buy stuff? Yeah! So here is the best place for you, dudes and dudettes, yeah! Many cool, rare, oh so very rare things you can purchase and have delivered to your home! Do see it. The State of Osoa (07010SO) has a real treat for you--a ton of raw data, specifically, the 209 Storms and the Flips and Dires that make them. An essential resource in the search for Obliviana! It truly is. Hemisinister Review (08010HR) presents reviews of nine movies from 1992 and one movie from today ("Timecop"). The old films include "Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me", "Aladdin", and "Cool World". See how they rate! Halfevil Times (09010HT)--get ready for the groovy resurrection of one of the earliest comedy features from the Anything But Monday days, SOOPER NEWS! Check out such stories as "College Losers Beaten" and "Tooth Fairy to Reduce Benefits"--hip humor for the digital youngsters of today! Superior (10010SU) has a lot, from "slanting tint the sine" to "bent is as plastic paper" to "react, lumbore, to my insane attack, Jared" to "the fog revealed your lifejoke--Liopis!" What a lot of pure wonderfulness for you, you know. Severe Repair (11010SR)--this week's chapter, "Toggle Joseph", finds the crew of Interearth Pirate Ship Urbandersnacheron taking shore leave in a lush wooded area. Meet such excellent characters as Bellicose Billion, Norlime Eckert, Ow Muchy Moyar, Dandy Banish, and of course, Toggle Joseph! Very nice. Appendix (12010AX) is the place to be when the mind in your head has been sprained and twisted by the harsh atmosphere of OsoaWeek. Get help! ------------------- OsoaWeek011 10/6/94 ----------- Okay all of you! This is a darn fine electronic magazine, and you ought to download it! Don't believe me? Well just check out the mind-numbing/shattering details below--details on just what you might expect to find in this, the eleventh issue of OsoaWeek! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04011LO) is chock full of theories about being young and having fun, and how our adult longings for those bright days of youth can and will be rekindled, in Obliviana. Also, a dream involving mustard in some way. Nihilistica (05011NH)--Hey! Ever wonder why OsoaWeek comes out on Thursday? The exclusive answer is right here! Also, ever wish that it was easier to read OsoaWeek? That exclusive answer is also here! As well, teasers for the cool "Destruct-A-Farm" and "Psycho Trend" are presented for your confusal (confused approval, that is!) And last and most probably least, we have "The 18 Ways of Hafalazap", eh? Catalog of Obliviana (06011CO)--buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. I really do wish someone would buy. The State of Osoa (07011SO)--Ah yes! Technology, eh, technology. This essay discusses the changes in the distribution of intellectual property in the emerging Digital Superworld, and how that affects Obliviana. Also, where do you think Fonosta is headed? Find out here. Hemisinister Review (08011HR) Hey! I finally review a movie before it's released! (I caught a midnight sneak preview of Tim Burton's "Ed Wood"). Also, I delve into the bottomless world of video and come up with "Sneakers" and "Fast Times as Ridgemont High". See how all these films rate against all the others reviewed in OsoaWeek! Halfevil Times (09011HT) has more of that wacky Sooper News, this time returning to its hypersurrealistic roots! Check out the stories HEALTH DOCTOR QUITS, MORT HAS HIS DAY IN COURT, and MOTORIZED LOONY BINS A HIT. A bit strange, even by Obliviana standards! Superior (10011SU) get "Ever thorn, and in embrace?", get "Arctican rail phase deploy yes", get "Clobber the job dumb", and by all means get " Is this a new beginning?" Getting has never been crazier! Get it all! Severe Repair (11011SR)--this time, in "Fabric Reactor", we find Daptin Gone seeking the aid of Granticaine Chug Perion and his Provocation Team D. Will they make it to the weird cupslip world to save Fake Cerquaine from Cup's Club? Find out! A great sci-fi/fantasy story you can follow every week, exclusively in OsoaWeek! Appendix (12011AX) is for help that you can't find anywhere else. It's an absolute lifesaver! ------------------- OsoaWeek012 10/13/94 ----------- Jeez! October, October--time is flyin'! But as time flies, OsoaWeek comes out every week! And you, lucky person out there, you have the unprecedented opportunity to read this, the coolest publication there is--for free, every seven days! Take this issue for example... Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04012LO) presents a dark, upsetting litany written by the Lord in a weary daze. Still, he does provide a preview of the cool NEW Obliviana to be introduced in two weeks. Read it lazily. Nihilistica (05012NH)--check out "Have Tina", a radical new computer game in development which includes elements of trading cards, bowling, and religion! Also, find out the awful truth about what's happening with 800 numbers. And for a real treat, you get the complete list of all 56 Codingseeds! And that's just fine! Catalog of Obliviana (06012CO) offers you a bunch of excellent stuff to buy via that old stand-by, mail order. Truly, if you're a real Obliviana fan, you'll want some of these Artifacts, you know? They're all signed, numbered and stamped, okay? The State of Osoa (07012SO) reveals one of the secret elements of the upcoming Obliviana renaissance--IBOF! This Indefinite Battery of Obliviana Files is a cool partner to OsoaWeek, containing sound files, video files, images, games, and a lot more. Hear all about it RIGHT NOW! Hemisinister Review (08012HR) takes a little look at MTV, reviewing Robert Plant and Jimmy Page's "UnLEDed" concert. Also, see how two videos fare--"Supernova" by Liz Phair and "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Also, thoughts on passe VJ Kennedy. Then we move on to the world of comics books with a review of the newest X-title, "Generation X", and commentary on the invasion of "Magic: The Gathering" losers in comic shops everywhere. Halfevil Times (09012HT)--time again for more of those adorable "Perceptions & Ponderings"! Like... Ever wonder how in God's name we've been spared the torment of a "Gilligan's Island" feature film? And... Ever notice that the world of cheese is a vast universe indeed? Friction Enhancer (10012FE) presents the text of the thirteen Propulsion Cards from the 1991 occult deck of cards, "Storm Codex". Excellent, cryptic Friction Enhancing awaits you! Superior (11012SU) lets "sitting by a windowby a parkway by a place" hang out with "please hover in blissful verisimilitude with sordid freedoms and the sender", while "a dent is a thing, see, where it's metal and it gets hit" swerves near "scary role-player Reentard really raise posty, population popcorn". See what I mean, there? Severe Repair (12012SR)--this time, check out "80-A Clarity", where Fake is still imprisoned by Cup's Club, themselves recovering from the slay balloon detonation. Daptin faces some amazingly bizarre perils in his quest to save her, as he and Provocation Team D find themselves working at a water treatment plant! Things are really heating up--so check it out! Appendix (13012AX) has bunches of rather outdated answers to lots of questions, and is a thing which will be severely whipped into shape come the Renaissance! *OW* ------------------- OsoaWeek013 10/20/94 ----------- Lucky number thirteen here! OsoaWeek's been coming out on time, every week for a full quarter of a year now. That oughtta tell ya something! Like, OsoaWeek is a darn fine publication you should download every week from now on. Right? Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04013LO)--What the heck is wrong with this guy? You'll be wondering that when you real this rambling tirade about Sirajul and Mujibur, espresso, eating sushi in an elevator, Tarot losers, the Garden State Parkway, and a lot more. Get into it. Nihilistica (05013NH) gives you a sort of sneak peek at two very cool video games currently under development here at Obliviana--"Blameday Sunglasses" and "Halzapular Fuzz". It's a little bit of the future available right now! Catalog of Obliviana (06013CO) does, yes, have stuff for you to buy. Signed, numbered, stamped, and all that, these artifacts are wild little treasures. Do spend. The State of Osoa (07013SO)--Here, the Lord of Obliviana is just totally fed up with everything, and just wants to get this issue done. He so looks forward to the coming Renaissance--you know? Hemisinister Review (08013HR) takes critical aim at two films, one old and good and one new and good. The films are "Logan's Run" and "Pulp Fiction". Also, see how these two movies fare against all the others ever reviewed in OsoaWeek! Halfevil Times (09013HT) brings you, once again, your Halfevil Times Horoscope. Take for example... Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Kiss Time Warner's ass. No, assaulting Los Angeles with an AT-AT is not an impossible dream. Tell you from five seconds ago to stop following you. Tune your radio to the deluded rantings of the dictator of the mouse army. Superior (10013SU)--Okay, "cool indoor artificial river, that feeling that falling", and "torture's not an option in that hell, pal tailor", and "meander beaks yip in dreadful holler, carving slopes of ale foams", and "so I will drink tea, restructure catalog, fight; reverse the attack". Okay? Severe Repair (11013SR)--In this week's chapter, "Dolthethmen", we follow the wanderings of (who else) Dolthethmen, as he meets some friends of his at the mall, and experiments with some highly hazardous reality altering powers. Join our jaded hero on his odd journey into the unknowable. Not for the faint of brightness! Appendix (12013AX) is here for you if you are unsure of all this. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- ----- |