|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- CARNE'S MOISTURE DETECTION FRIEND--CUP 1--"CAT FOOD FOR THE ROBOTIC CATS" --------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Carne's Moisture Detection Friend  ||  -------> (Cup SRcm001, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = -A- CARNE: Where is that darn Moisture Detection Friend of mine? PACER: I'm not sure. I saw him at the strip mall across the street two days ago, but it was from a distance. CARNE: You didn't talk to him? PACER: I was riding by on my moped. I had to get to Toys'R'Us before it closed. CARNE: Thanks, that's really helpful. PACER: Hey man! I had to get the Insaniac action figure from Small Soldiers! CARNE: How was that movie, by the way? PACER: It's kind of horrible, but in such a way that it could become a cult classic. I liked it, but I can't really recommend it. It reminded me a little of Last Action Hero. You know how the kid in that movie was so friggin' annoying? This kid is even worse. You just want to punch him in the face, he's such an irritating little freak! -B- CARNE: You know Pacer, I think my Moisture Detection Friend likes your sister. PACER: Yeah, well, I don't know what to say to that. CARNE: Yeah, I don't know. Hey, how much further before we get to the abandoned ski resort with all the arcade video games locked in the basement? PACER: As soon as we turn this corner, you'll see it... yup, there it is! CARNE: And there are video games in the basement? PACER: Yeah, I told ya, I saw 'em myself! I looked in through the window. CARNE: Well, it's such a shitty day out, hopefully no one else will be around. Gray and cold and wet. I guess we need days like this in order to appreciate the truly nice days. PACER: Huh? Sorry, I wasn't listening. So look, I got the bolt cutter in the trunk, we'll break in, see if there's anything worth taking, and if there is, we'll go into town a rent a U-Haul. CARNE: Maybe we should just try and locate the owner and do it the legal way. I'm sure we could get all the games real cheap. PACER: Um, but we can get them for free this way. CARNE: If I was storing valuable games in a remote, insecure location, I might protect them with an airborne virus trap. But that's just me. -C- CARNE: It seems like everyone has a website these days. Even my Moisture Detection Friend has one. PACER: I'm gonna have a website. CARNE: Oh yeah, what's it gonna... WHOAH! PACER: Hey! Come on man! Stop driving like a psycho! CARNE: I wasn't my fault, that guy totally cut me off! PACER: Well, I don't know. Just you're always supposed to be in control of your vehicle, y'know? Anyway, my website? It's gonna be of imaginary cat food. It's gonna have all graphics and shit. This friend of mine? He knows a guy in the city who does artwork and logos and stuff, and he says he can draw all the fake cat food cans and make them look, y'know, real. CARNE: So, what, like something like "Frothy's Buffet", and have a rabid cat foaming at the mouth--something like that? PACER: Um... not really... we're not really going for that college humor sort of direction. We have some stuff like "Nuts and Bolts Cat Food for the Robotic Cats". Or, "Lumber Scrap Cat Food for the Wooden Cats", all stuff like that. CARNE: So, is this meant--is it meant as comedy, or as... PACER: It's mainly the artwork. I saw some of what this guy does. I tellya, it looks--y'know--totally professional. Anyway, we're gonna let people see like two or three of the cat food cans, and then they can pay a monthly fee to see the whole collection--like ten dollars a month, or something. Not that much. And then we'll split it with this guy, the guy in the city. CARNE: And you think people are gonna be... um... signing up for this? PACER: That's the beauty of it. There are millions and millions of people online. Say ten million. If we just get, like, I don't know, one percent of the people out there, that's like, a hundred-thousand people. And each of them paying ten dollars a month, um... well, I figured it out, and over the course of just one year, we'll make like over ten million dollars. So my split will be, like, three million dollars or something. And that's just one year! -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----