|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- CARNE'S MOISTURE DETECTION FRIEND--CUP 5--"SEAPORT CINNAMON SHOP" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Carne's Moisture Detection Friend  ||  -------> (Cup SRcm005, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = -K- CARNE: Yeah, "hoopy" was a word from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Last month, my Moisture Detection Friend started using it, figuring it was cool to use a word like that. PACER: Aren't they coming out with a new movie of that? CARNE: I think so. Yup. So anyway, you're telling me that all these treehouses just appeared out of nowhere? And nobody questioned it? PACER: I tellya man, I was here like two days before they appeared. There was an article about it in the local paper. But everyone just kind of thinks it's somebody else's problem. No one's doing anything about it. CARNE: And you can actually go in 'em? PACER: Yeah! Come on, I'll show ya. The weird thing is, they all seem like they're very old, y'know, been here for a long time. The wood is all weathered and everything. I found a really weird coin in one of them, and I told the newspaper, but they weren't really interested. CARNE: This is really unbelievable. I mean, it shows how--y'know--how all this unexplained stuff--how it can go by virtually unnoticed and unchallenged. PACER: Yeah, and the part that sucks is, I'm part of the problem. I could be doing more, but I have a lot of other stuff in my life, and I can't devote the time and energy--and money--that it would take to try and bring this to the attention of the public. CARNE: Who owns this land anyway? PACER: I don't know. It's real near a state park, but I think it might be part of an estate that's in total dispute. I guess the guy died and his relatives are fighting over it. I don't know. CARNE: You know, I'm part of the problem too. I should be thinking about this amazing phenomenon totally. But I keep thinking that I want to get to Sam Goody before it closes to get that My Bloody Valentine album, Loveless. I shouldn't be thinking about that, but I am. -L- CARNE: Wow, man. I love hanging out at a seaport cinnamon shop, half-asleep and having just met a ton of celebrities. My Moisture Detection Friend would be jealous. PACER: Huh? CARNE: This is cool man! I wanna take a boat to Brazil! PACER: Chill out, man. But I don't think that supersonic boat is real. I think it's just a gimmick or a rip-off or a tourist attraction or something. CARNE: You couldn't be more wrong. I'll be in Brazil in about an hour-and-a-half. Oh wow! Check out these cinnamon Spuds Mackenzie wafers! These have gotta be at least fifteen years old! Geez... I'm wiped out, man. I'm totally wiped out. -M- CARNE: My Moisture Detection Friend can be quite good at electronics when he puts his mind to it. Just last week, someone gave him one of those new-fangled birthday cards that plays "Happy Birthday" when you open it--you know--on a little electronic device. PACER: Yeah. CARNE: Well, he must have stayed awake for like two days reconfiguring the thing so it plays "Music to Watch Girls By" when you open it. It sounds pretty cool. And he was quite proud of himself for the accomplishment. PACER: What song is that? CARNE: "Music To Watch Girls By". It's a great song. It was... I don't know... Andy Williams or something. He sang it, at least. I don't know if he wrote it. I don't think he wrote it. PACER: Well, I guess we have to stop walking--this looks like the end of the road. CARNE: Yeah... I don't cherish walking back the same way, though. Maybe we should just keep on going. PACER: Well, I may be mistaken, but isn't that a massive wall of sticker bushes up ahead? I see many varieties of nasty thorns. CARNE: Yeah, but who knows? Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. And we're dressed for this Autumn weather. We might be okay. PACER: Oh, alright. Let's go. CARNE: Onward! -N- CARNE: Well hey, those sticker bushes weren't so bad! No doubt my Moisture Detection Friend would have whined and complained about such an experience, but you and I, Pacer, are made of tougher stuff regarding such experiences. PACER: And we're still in the same general area as were were before we went through the bushes. That's somewhat impressive. CARNE: I know. The gravel road before us is of the same kind of gravel. But... well, not quite. I like this gravel better. It's sharper, more rocklike. I like that. PACER: Who's Vontolleny? CARNE: Huh? PACER: That skywriting up there. It says "Vontolleny is cool." See it? CARNE: Um... oh yeah. I think it's just that new videogame character, the one who travels around through the certificates on people's walls, the tan and white bridge-dwelling jackdaw? You know the one I mean? PACER: Wasn't that some vaporware game from like ten years ago? CARNE: Apparently the game is gonna happen. Or has already happened. PACER: I hope they make a View-Master for it. CARNE: They won't. They don't make videogame View-Master reels, I don't think. Videogames are the most massive piece of pop culture real estate that is treated like dirt, mostly. Or... maybe just as every pebble is a little different... um... I mean... ah whatever. Let's go get some coffee. -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----