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-------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A .
singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora
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OSOAWEEK--ISSUE 010--9/29/94
<-------  ||  OsoaWeek  ||  Issues  ||  Book 1  ||  ------->
(Cup OWis010, Created v1 (4/27/99), Copyright 1999)

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[[BEGIN010OW]]



[[01010MH]] OsoaWeek010, September 29, 1994

Published by Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Contact via e-mail at obliviana@aol.com, via voice at 1-800-OBLIVIANA, or via snailmail at 37 Gill Lane, Suite 119, Iselin, NJ 08830, USA. On America Online, contact via "Obliviana".

Copyright 1994 by Frank Edward Nora. Permission is granted to make complete, verbatim electronic copies of this ezine for the purpose of free distribution. All other forms of reproduction are forbidden without express written permission from Frank Edward Nora. This file should contain approximately 67798 characters and 1976 lines. OsoaWeek originates in the United States of America.

Statement of Purpose: OsoaWeek is the weekly ezine of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa), an innovative and far-reaching game with an eye on the future.

See the Appendix at the end of this file for a clear explanation of what Osoa is all about. And check out the Sneak Preview below (after Contents) for an overview of what's inside this issue!

*OW*



[[02010CN]] Contents of OsoaWeek010

BEGIN
01 010 MH--Masthead
02 010 CN--Contents
03 010 SP--Sneak Preview
04 010 LO--Lord of Obliviana Revelry
05 010 NH--Nihilistica
06 010 CO--Catalog of Obliviana
* * *
07 010 SO--The State of Osoa
* * *
08 010 HR--Hemisinister Review
09 010 HT--Halfevil Times
10 010 SU--Superior
11 010 SR--Severe Repair
12 010 AX--Appendix
END

Unless otherwise noted, all contents are by Frank Edward Nora. See Appendix for more information on the Contents, codes, and searching.

*OW*



[[03010SP]] Sneak Preview of OsoaWeek010

Well now whattaya know--another quite awesomely fine issue of OsoaWeek--you know--OsoaWeek, the esteemed ezine of the info dataways! Um, so you really do need to read this issue, and to let you in on just what you'll miss if you avoid it, here's a cool preview of the sneak kind of this issue!

Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04010LO)--this lengthy introduction touches upon numerous important issues, including the new central focus of Osoa, "Tourney", VIAT, a motorcycle dream, Severe Repair, Saturn Return, The Waltons, The 700 Club, Taco Bell incompetence, Uncle Floyd, V-8, and a lot more! True rambling for the true rambling connoisseur!

Nihilistica (05010NH) brings you a wonderful list of Little Frankie Nora's 256 songs, including "Murder in Martinsville", "Acid Snow", "Peggy's Playroom", "Radio Pancreas", "Fun With Chainsaw", "Shatter Cider", and "I am God". Quite the monster list of awesomosity!

Catalog of Obliviana (06010CO)--do you wanna buy stuff? Yeah! So here is the best place for you, dudes and dudettes, yeah! Many cool, rare, oh so very rare things you can purchase and have delivered to your home! Do see it.

The State of Osoa (07010SO) has a real treat for you--a ton of raw data, specifically, the 209 Storms and the Flips and Dires that make them. An essential resource in the search for Obliviana! It truly is.

Hemisinister Review (08010HR) presents reviews of nine movies from 1992 and one movie from today ("Timecop"). The old films include "Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me", "Aladdin", and "Cool World". See how they rate!

Halfevil Times (09010HT)--get ready for the groovy resurrection of one of the earliest comedy features from the Anything But Monday days, SOOPER NEWS! Check out such stories as "College Losers Beaten" and "Tooth Fairy to Reduce Benefits"--hip humor for the digital youngsters of today!

Superior (10010SU) has a lot, from "slanting tint the sine" to "bent is as plastic paper" to "react, lumbore, to my insane attack, Jared" to "the fog revealed your lifejoke--Liopis!" What a lot of pure wonderfulness for you, you know.

Severe Repair (11010SR)--this week's chapter, "Toggle Joseph", finds the crew of Interearth Pirate Ship Urbandersnacheron taking shore leave in a lush wooded area. Meet such excellent characters as Bellicose Billion, Norlime Eckert, Ow Muchy Moyar, Dandy Banish, and of course, Toggle Joseph! Very nice.

Appendix (12010AX) is the place to be when the mind in your head has been sprained and twisted by the harsh atmosphere of OsoaWeek. Get help!

*OW*



[[04010LO]] Lord of Obliviana Revelry

I don't know what to say. This is a difficult time for Obliviana. It's hard enough for me to get OsoaWeek out every week, so I haven't been able to commit much effort to promotion. And the little effort I have given on that front has revealed a real resistance on the part of a lot of people to something new and different like Obliviana.

I realize I have a tough road ahead. For those of you who have actually read OsoaWeek, I'm sure you have begun to understand what Obliviana is all about. But since Obliviana is such a difficult thing to explain, it's tough to get people to check us out!

This is the tenth issue of OsoaWeek, and including this issue, we're talking somewhere around 500 pages of material! And roughly half of that is Severe Repair! Gee, by the time Book One of Severe Repair concludes in OsoaWeek013, it'll be long enough to be, like, a novel!

So, like I mentioned last issue, the upcoming OsoaWeek014, (scheduled for release in four weeks, on October 27, 1994) will completely update and refine all the Osoa and Fonosta information presented in OsoaWeek001. The totality of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement will come into much sharper focus in this upcoming issue, which will begin the second quarter of OsoaWeek.

But among the most important advancements in the works is the lifting of Tourney up from Obliviana Primal and into a totally unique position--as a Digital Superworld Centre! Imagine a place you can go 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, where you can get a complete overview of what's going on in cyberspace, updated continuously, with up-to-the-second news and information on Obliviana Super Occult Amusement as well all the other realms of the Digital Superworld!

Digital Superworld Centre Tourney is a cyberplace, meaning that it is meant to be a domain you can hook into and spend time in in a variety of ways. Ultimately, I hope for a fully immersive virtual reality hook-up, but as that's around seven years away, I am developing a number of techniques which can be implemented immediately and in the near future.

The brightest star on the near horizon is VIAT--Virtual Invoker-Artificer Technology. As detailed in prior issues of OsoaWeek (especially OsoaWeek004), VIAT is a system by which a 3-D world can be interactively explored, using a CD-based game system (ie, Jaguar, 3DO, CD-i, etc.) as a front end. Such a system would display on a TV set and be guided by a control pad. The technology for such a system exists right now, but bringing together all the elements to create a working VIAT system would require a good deal of effort.

The next rung down on the ladder is a BBS, preferably one with a GUI, such as FirstClass. Such a service is more in the realm of possibility for the near future, but the mechanics of such a system run counter to a lot of my ideals. That is, I feel that an immersive, 3-D environment is vital to the ideal of Tourney.

So, at the bottom of the barrel, there is the ezine/e-mail system. This is the system I am using right now--a weekly ezine, which is respondent to e-mail. That is, folks send in their Fonosta establishments and upgrades, and then see the results in the text of OsoaWeek.

So yes, for the time being, OsoaWeek and your ability to send e-mail form the current infrastructure. Pathetic, eh? Well, it does have some advantages over a BBS, but I'd far prefer a full VIAT system. But who knows? If things start going my way, there could be a Tourney VIAT system online as soon as next Summer!

Tourney is the place to be. It will officially launch with OsoaWeek014 (10/27/94), but you can guarantee yourself a low, low Fonosta number if you check out OsoaWeek001 and get your Fonosta establishment in! We're talking a number well under ten if you act now. You know how cool that's gonna be a few years from now? Jeez!

I had a dream last night where I was in Florida, and I was being chased by the police, but my motorcycle was going 200 to 300 mph, so I outran them by far. I stopped, ditched the bike, lumbered through some foliage, and went into a weird store. I pretended I wanted to buy a pacifier for my baby. But I wound up hanging out at the store for a long time, befriending the folks there. I was even gonna stay overnight, but somehow they started to find out I was a fugitive, but I was so settled in, I couldn't find any of my stuff when the time came to run away.

I'm sure this has some kind of major meaning, but I don't feel like analyzing it right now.

I wanted to mention something very important for all of you, my loyal readers, and especially those of you in the future (since not too many folks'll read this the week it comes out, unfortunately)--and that is that Severe Repair, the sci-fi/fantasy story, one chapter of which appears in every issue of OsoaWeek, is something you should really check out.

In Severe Repair, there's a lot going on. To get the full picture, you should go back to OsoaWeek001 and read it all in sequence, but you can read any chapter and still get an idea of what's going on.

The basic idea of the story is that there are two major systems of alternate worlds accessible from Red Alley Earth, Aconck and The Avert Cities. Aconck is a set of whole alternate Earth, which are gotten to by interearth bridges, and travelled by a handful of companies, who are constantly at war with one another. The Avert Cities are a group of five metropolises, four of which having their own pantheon of deities. One of these, Agoopish, is the setting for much of the action.

So get into Severe Repair! You'll be glad you did--especially since you'll be getting a new chapter every week, from now till who knows when!

One other thing, I was reading in a magazine (Mouth 2 Mouth, to be specific, an excellent publication, by the way) that when people turn 27, they get all depressed and stuff, because the planet Saturn is finally returning to the spot it occupied at the time the person was born. It seems that Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and other notables all died at age 27. And let me tell you, this "Saturn Return" phenomenon seems to be true--I'll be turning 27 in four days, and I am feeling pretty down. But don't expect me to kill myself or die or anything--I'll be here, continuing to create and annoy for a long, long time. And let me say, I've been feeling this way for a week or two, and I just read the Saturn thing this morning, so it's not like a self-fulfilled prophecy or anything.

Man! What a long Revelry. Well, I guess I just have a lot to get off my chest. I mean, you think it's easy being Lord of Obliviana? Ha! Don't make me laugh!

You know, The Waltons is a damn fine show. I never really saw it before, but I started watching it on The Family Channel at 9:00 am on weekdays last Friday. It's really good! And The 700 Club is on right after. Talk about cool GenX couch potato miserableness! Yeah!

I've been getting upset a lot recently. Like today, I went to the Taco Bell drive-thru, and ordered a bean burrito with no cheese for myself, and a chicken burrito for my girlfriend. Well, after I was a few miles away, I discovered there was only one burrito inside, and it wasn't mine! When I got home, we discovered it was some sort of super deluxe supreme bean, sour cream, cheese and God-knows-what burrito, which neither of us wanted to eat. I got so mad I called up the Taco Bell and told the person who answered to tell the girl working the drive-thru that she's an idiot. I felt a little better after that.

Big number ten. The only publication I ever did that got beyond number nine was NomadiNews, which got to eleven. So by the time I get to twelve, I'll have surpassed them all! Well, Anything But Monday had three volumes, for a total of 13 issues. So hell, it's that OsoaWeek014, 10/27/94, that'll finally get beyond the number of issues of a publications from my past! And it'll also realign all of Osoa, with Tourney at the center!

Oh, I found out I use the same word processing software as Tom Clancy (Word 5.1a Mac)--isn't that great? I thought it was.

Um--another cool thing, I got a little radio from radio shack that was the same model they dropped all over Haiti! It's a keen little piece of history, and it makes hearing Howard, Rush, and Bob all that much easier! And it's teal, don't you know.

Oh, here's an interesting note on the subject of New Jersey--"Uncle Floyd" Vivino is doing a new show called "Uncle Floyd's New Jersey". Apparently airing at 7:00 pm weeknights on CTN, the episode I saw a few hours ago featured Mr. Vivino interviewing a bunch of incoherent homeless near a statue of Lou Costello in Patterson. Quite good, actually.

The crap on my walls is too old--most of it is from 1992. It's all like printouts of logos and stuff I've done. But such indulgence and lack of updating is very GenX, no?

Yeah, I'm really pining for the '80s man, if I may say so. I talked to a college friend of mine earlier, who I hadn't talked to since 1989. I got his number off one of those CD-ROMs that have every phone number in the USA. It was weird--like, starting to feel the weight of age, having the massive changes of the '90s really come into contrast with the way things were in my college days. But hey, this is loser talk. This is GenX talk.

I just drank 41% of my daily requirement of sodium--one can of V-8! Tomatoes, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, and spinach. I wonder if they could make a V-8 II, you know, with like eight different vegetables. It could be--squash, artichokes, broccoli, cucumbers, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, lima beans, and corn--with TWICE the sodium. Come on folks! Letter writing campaign! Let's get this product on the shelves! Campbell Soup Company, Camden, NJ 08103-1701, USA.

On that note of semi-verisimilitude, I'll let you loose on this issue of the greatest magazine in the world, OsoaWeek!

Here's a late note: Cyberhighplace OsoaTourney!

And, y'know, get all Obliviana!

*OW*



[[05010NH]] Nihilistica

***LITTLE FRANKIE NORA***

DIE!
(1) Left or Right
(2) Gilligan's Nightmare
(3) Radio and Television
(4) What
(5) Bag of Garbage
(6) At Night
(7) Baby Rats
(8) Hoobert Heever
(9) Platinum
(10) Thunder Lizard
(11) Die!
(12) Faggot
(13) Bitch
(14) New Year
(15) Chapter Ten
(16) Floating Man
(17) Kill the Small One (Part I)
(18) Box
(19) Doctor Sand
(20) Charlie
(21) Napalm Baby
(22) Bad Street Theme (Part I)
(23) Speedy Delivery
(24) Old Lang Zyne
(25) It's a Cruel World
(26) Lines
(27) Mary Ann

THE GOOD WAR
(28) Too Much
(29) Flash
(30) Infinity
(31) Some Other Time
(32) Days
(33) Kill the Small One (Part II)
(34) Doodoohoe
(35) Hack
(36) Retard
(37) Bad Street Theme (Part II)
(38) The Report
(39) Storm Season
(40) The Good War
(41) Dance to the Hills
(42) Done For
(43) Three
(44) You Are
(45) Moral Obligation
(46) That Thing
(47) Murder in Martinsville
(48) Miracle
(49) Well, We Got'em!
(50) Synchola
(51) Food Grouper
(52) Barbarians
(53) My Motor Sang
(54) Mom's Pet Slug
(55) Relax
(56) Monsters

DEMOLITION CURVE
(57) The Tape Begins
(58) Life in Sequence
(59) Blastard
(60) Gateway
(61) Board Meeting
(62) Diamond Eyes
(63) Bad Skin
(64) Doctor Jones
(65) The Brady Scums
(66) Sign On
(67) On the Roof
(68) Acid Snow
(69) Majesty
(70) Steady
(71) Mangoman
(72) Kill the Small One (Part III)
(73) Bad Street Theme (Part III)
(74) Query
(75) Six
(76) Constipation for a Retard
(77) Retard Fringe
(78) Kicked in the Balls
(79) Maybe Not
(80) Merry Down the Lane
(81) This is Love
(82) Missile Attack
(83) Demolition Curve
(84) Birds
(85) Numb
(86) Peggy's Playroom
(87) Vomit
(88) Bathroom
(89) Bee
(90) Sphinxette
(91) Eggbert
(92) Folks
(93) My Duck and Rain
(94) Don Pterona
(95) Swan Bite
(96) Triceratops Bite
(97) Triceratops Man
(98) Swan Man
(99) Hunting
(100) Dick See
(101) Shutter
(102) Radio Pancreas
(103) Slip Clip
(104) Sojourn X
(105) My Seven
(106) Spy Zack
(107) Weather or Not
(108) Intro Glycerin
(109) Oktoberfist
(110) Weasel Grand
(111) Vesper
(112) Piss Me Off
(113) Elvis Retard
(114) Retard La La
(115) Yeah Baybee
(116) Big Bad
(117) Spangle
(118) Spacemen

ORIGINAL TIN
(119) Little Frankie
(120) What Color
(121) Violetgoggle
(122) Ice Cream Cone of the Gods
(123) Fun With Chainsaw
(124) Brat Pit
(125) Urgent
(126) Thirteen Masks
(127) Down the River
(128) Bad Rabbit
(129) Retard Convention
(130) Pee Pee
(131) Baby Retards in Vienna
(132) Master Zone
(133) Demo Demon
(134) Five Minute Break
(135) Micro
(136) Business
(137) Kreation-21141
(138) Wise War II
(139) Smithsaurian
(140) Black Lake with Rainbow
(141) In the Attic
(142) The It
(143) Quiet Down
(144) Original Tin
(145) Big City Then
(146) The One
(147) Drawer
(148) Interlude
(149) And Our Strength
(150) Built Right
(151) Finally
(152) The Wrong Paint
(153) Chickens
(154) More Books
(155) Rafter

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE JOB?
(156) Welcome Back
(157) Reemiks
(158) Recur
(159) False Chest
(160) Thaldarndog
(161) Cream Opus
(162) Hoehme
(163) Box Spring
(164) I, Ron
(165) Detroit
(166) Spencer
(167) Recommended
(168) Sands of Mercy
(169) Master of Fools
(170) The First Ones
(171) The Last Ones
(172) Their Hands
(173) Try Fencing
(174) White People
(175) Frank's Dream
(176) Doktor Bojangles
(177) Previrginia
(178) Virginia
(179) Way of Life
(180) Game #2
(181) F*ck You
(182) Mommy Furriest
(183) Skill
(184) Easy
(185) Palsy Walsy
(186) Going Off
(187) Vampires
(188) Young
(189) Old
(190) Bird
(191) Turtle
(192) Gate
(193) Pillar
(194) Sand
(195) Rock
(196) Come Again

ENDING THE ERA WITH CALM MUSIC
(197) Your Time
(198) To This
(199) Thing Man
(200) You're As
(201) Out Of
(202) Place In
(203) A Photographer's
(204) Studio As
(205) Joseph Was
(206) In Pharaoh's
(207) Prison Bring
(208) Your Family
(209) Up To
(210) Dayton And
(211) God's Ass
(212) Fish-Car
(213) F*ckin' "L"
(214) Bitch Caviar "N-5"
(215) Green Monarch
(216) Butterfly March
(217) Winds in Moon
(218) Madness Five
(219) Alive and Drinking
(220) Water "Kids"
(221) Are Us Them
(222) Darn Wilsons
(223) Cincinnati Red
(224) Tonight Black
(225) Aggit Baa
(226) Locked Glass Door
(227) Mice Girder Spring Cartoon
(228) Cartoon of the Gods
(229) The Lockhorns
(230) P.O.
(231) Sonic Drill
(232) Sonic Drill II
(233) Mystery of God
(234) Dance of Spasms
(235) Throatripper II
(236) The Weather Whistle
(237) Where is Albert?
(238) Walking Along
(239) Genesissy
(240) Liberty 1985
(241) Acirema Fo Setats Detinu
(242) Unum
(243) Some Silly Some
(244) Waiting
(245) Right or Left

SHATTER CIDER
(246) Nerve Amble
(247) Spirit Pummel
(248) Galaxy Reel 1: Disorientation Lost
(249) Galaxy Reel 2: Shatter Cider
(250) Galaxy Reel 3: So Stir Up a Hysterical
(251) Galaxy Reel 4: Mean Laura
(252) Galaxy Reel 5: Tossed Into Woods
(253) Mishap South
(254) Waiting
(255) Original What
(256) I am God

*OW*



[[06010CO]] Catalog of Obliviana

With more and more of your life switching over to digital, isn't it nice to be able to obtain something unique to the physical world? That's what Obliviana Artifacts are all about! Each one is signed, numbered, stamped, and very limited! So for the best in non-digital thrills, order often from the mighty Catalog of Obliviana!

You can always call 1-800-OBLIVIANA to check out how many of a given Artifact are left, and also reserve an item. Your Artifact will be held for 5 business days, awaiting your order. I keep two of everything, so the initial amount available is at least two less than the total.

To order, send check or money order made out to Frank Edward Nora, or cash (at your own risk), to the address in the Masthead. All prices include postage and handling. Guarantee: Return any Artifact within 30 days of receiving it for a full refund.

MINIATURE SUPER OBJECT 1: NON-THORIUM ANTENNA
This is a strange little Super Object I developed some time ago as an incentive item to get you to order one of my former magazines. I got no orders, though. Now, there are 40 Non-Thorium Antennas, complete with tiny plastic container and title card. 28 left. OA001. Only $3 each!

PERFECT FOVY
Fovy was a publication I released fortnightly for five issues last Autumn. Each issue is on one folded-up 11 x 17 sheet of paper, with an awesome 8-Codingseed poster on one side and cool stuff on the other, including two Zope comics per issue! A wonderful collection, bound with a paper band, and only 26 made. 24 left. OA002. Yours for $5!

PELTER CD-ROM
This is an actual CD-ROM I had pressed over a year ago, and it contains 256 of the coolest clip textures you ever saw! Being for the Macintosh, each image is a 512 pixel by 512 pixel 32-bit color image. As well, each image comes in 6 varieties! These are 32-bit, 8-bit, grayscale, tiled 32-bit, tiled 8-bit, and tiled grayscale. This product never saw commercial release because, (a) I blew all my money just producing it, and (b) I'm too lazy and wary to have anyone else produce it. So! A great bargain, with only 40 copies available. Includes the original color-photocopied cover, and a brand new insert with updated information. Requires Macintosh computer with CD-ROM drive. 38 left. OA003. Only $30 each!

READ THIS OR DIE!
An awesome collection of Zope comics spanning eight years! Contains twenty sheets of colored paper, with 40 Zope comics in all! Included are "Zope's Resin Conundrum", "Zope's Little Puppet", "Doctor Zope and the Abdomen Ghoul", and loads more! Each set not only has the usual signature, stamp, and number--but an original drawing of Zope as well! All bound together with a big binder clip. A very raw artifact! 20 made, 7 left. OA005. $4 each.

*OW*



[[07010SO]] The State of Osoa

Okay now, down to the nitty gritty! In this section, I'm presenting to you a complete list of Pilferids (11 Flips and 19 Dires), and the 209 Storms you can form with them.

Each Flip has a list of every Dire, and what Storms are thusly made, and likewise, Dires are listed with all other Flips. By cross-referencing The chosen Flip and Dire, the same Storm number should be formed.

Check it out!


FLIP (+)

+1 Fission
=1#1* =2#78 =3#155 =4#23 =5#100 =6#177 =7#45 =8#122 =9#199 =10#67 =11#144 =12#12 =13#89 =14#166 =15#34 =16#111 =17#188 =18#56 =19#133

+2 Breeze
=1#134 =2#2 =3#79 =4#156 =5#24 =6#101 =7#178 =8#46 =9#123 =10#200 =11#68 =12#145 =13#13 =14#90 =15#167 =16#35 =17#112 =18#189 =19#57

+3 Enter
=1#58 =2#135 =3#3 =4#80 =5#157 =6#25 =7#102 =8#179 =9#47 =10#124 =11#201 =12#69 =13#146 =14#14 =15#91 =16#168 =17#36 =18#113 =19#190

+4 Algorithm
=1#191 =2#59 =3#136 =4#4 =5#81 =6#158 =7#26 =8#103 =9#180 =10#48 =11#125 =12#202 =13#70 =14#147 =15#15 =16#92 =17#169 =18#37 =19#114

+5 Therefore
=1#115 =2#192 =3#60 =4#137 =5#5 =6#82 =7#159 =8#27 =9#104 =10#181 =11#49 =12#126 =13#203 =14#71 =15#148 =16#16 =17#93 =18#170 =19#38

+6 Splice
=1#39 =2#116 =3#193 =4#61 =5#138 =6#6 =7#83 =8#160 =9#28 =10#105* =11#182 =12#50 =13#127 =14#204 =15#72 =16#149 =17#17 =18#94 =19#171

+7 Yonder
=1#172 =2#40 =3#117 =4#194 =5#62 =6#139 =7#7 =8#84 =9#161 =10#29 =11#106 =12#183 =13#51 =14#128 =15#205 =16#73 =17#150 =18#18 =19#95

+8 Charm
=1#96 =2#173 =3#41 =4#118 =5#195 =6#63 =7#140 =8#8 =9#85 =10#162 =11#30 =12#107 =13#184 =14#52 =15#129 =16#206 =17#74 =18#151 =19#19

+9 Liquid
=1#20 =2#97 =3#174 =4#42 =5#119 =6#196 =7#64 =8#141 =9#9 =10#86 =11#163 =12#31 =13#108 =14#185 =15#53 =16#130 =17#207 =18#75 =19#152

+10 Destroy
=1#153 =2#21 =3#98 =4#175 =5#43 =6#120 =7#197 =8#65 =9#142 =10#10 =11#87 =12#164 =13#32 =14#109 =15#186 =16#54 =17#131 =18#208 =19#76

+11 Nebula
=1#77 =2#154 =3#22 =4#99 =5#176 =6#44 =7#121 =8#198 =9#66 =10#143 =11#11 =12#88 =13#165 =14#33 =15#110 =16#187 =17#55 =18#132 =19#209*


DIRE (=)

=1 Turnpike
+1#1* +2#134 +3#58 +4#191 +5#115 +6#39 +7#172 +8#96 +9#20 +10#153 +11#77

=2 Whisper
+1#78 +2#2 +3#135 +4#59 +5#192 +6#116 +7#40 +8#173 +9#97 +10#21 +11#154

=3 Concrete
+1#155 +2#79 +3#3 +4#136 +5#60 +6#193 +7#117 +8#41 +9#174 +10#98 +11#22

=4 Stupor
+1#23 +2#156 +3#80 +4#4 +5#137 +6#61 +7#194 +8#118 +9#42 +10#175 +11#99

=5 Bound
+1#100 +2#24 +3#157 +4#81 +5#5 +6#138 +7#62 +8#195 +9#119 +10#43 +11#176

=6 Lumber
+1#177 +2#101 +3#25 +4#158 +5#82 +6#6 +7#139 +8#63 +9#196 +10#120 +11#44

=7 Hearth
+1#45 +2#178 +3#102 +4#26 +5#159 +6#83 +7#7 +8#140 +9#64 +10#197 +11#121

=8 Fairyland
+1#122 +2#46 +3#179 +4#103 +5#27 +6#160 +7#84 +8#8 +9#141 +10#65 +11#198

=9 Gone
+1#199 +2#123 +3#47 +4#180 +5#104 +6#28 +7#161 +8#85 +9#9 +10#142 +11#66

=10 Hover
+1#67 +2#200 +3#124 +4#48 +5#181 +6#105* +7#29 +8#162 +9#86 +10#10 +11#143

=11 Fight
+1#144 +2#68 +3#201 +4#125 +5#49 +6#182 +7#106 +8#30 +9#163 +10#87 +11#11

=12 Planetarium
+1#12 +2#145 +3#69 +4#202 +5#126 +6#50 +7#183 +8#107 +9#31 +10#164 +11#88

=13 Lathe
+1#89 +2#13 +3#146 +4#70 +5#203 +6#127 +7#51 +8#184 +9#108 +10#32 +11#165

=14 Cloak
+1#166 +2#90 +3#14 +4#147 +5#71 +6#204 +7#128 +8#52 +9#185 +10#109 +11#33

=15 Mechanism
+1#34 +2#167 +3#91 +4#15 +5#148 +6#72 +7#205 +8#129 +9#53 +10#186 +11#110

=16 Hallway
+1#111 +2#35 +3#168 +4#92 +5#16 +6#149 +7#73 +8#206 +9#130 +10#54 +11#187

=17 Velocity
+1#188 +2#112 +3#36 +4#169 +5#93 +6#17 +7#150 +8#74 +9#207 +10#131 +11#55

=18 Thunder
+1#56 +2#189 +3#113 +4#37 +5#170 +6#94 +7#18 +8#151 +9#75 +10#208 +11#132

=19 Dusk
+1#133 +2#57 +3#190 +4#114 +5#38 +6#171 +7#95 +8#19 +9#152 +10#76 +11#209*

*OW*



[[08010HR]] Hemisinister Review

***MOVIES***

This time around, I'm gonna review one current film ("Timecop"), and nine films from the late '92, early '93 time period. Why, you ask? Well, I originally presented the old reviews in a little publication of mine, Forge of Wander. I thought they'd be helpful to you at the video store, since most if not all, of them are now out on video. And excuse the anachronisms--I left the old reviews fully intact.

TWIN PEAKS FIRE WALK WITH ME
Recently, I've forsaken all other films so that I can see Twin Peaks over and over again. So far, I've seen it three times, and I've enjoyed it more and more every time. Admittedly, I was a big fan of the TV series, and this made the movie all the more interesting to me. But Fire Walk With Me goes far beyond the TV show. Basically, it depicts Laura Palmer's last week, in which she is tormented by the evil entity Bob. Lots of cool backwards-talking Black Lodge scenes, and Badalamenti's nightmarish music make this a very powerful, scary film. Lynch's direction is dead-on, and Sheryl Lee's portrayal of Laura Palmer is phenomenal. In short, this film rules.

THE PLAYER
An awe-inspiringly great film about a Hollywood producer. The film's brilliance took me totally by surprise. A must-see.

TRESPASS
This is an extremely fun and likable film which doesn't set out to do too much, but delivers everything it promises. Two firemen get a treasure map and travel to an abandoned East St. Louis building, only to run into a band of drug dealers, whom they then battle for the rest of the film. Ice Cube and Ice T give good performances, and the whole thing just basically works. Recommended.

COOL WORLD
Ralph Bakshi's mix of live action and animation is a fantastic and refreshing film. An instant cult classic. Highly recommended.

ALADDIN
Aladdin has everything going for it--great story, great voices, fabulous animation, etc. But it utterly lacks the one thing it needs most--spirit. Underneath its lavish exterior, Aladdin is cold and distant. There doesn't seem to be any driving force or vision behind it. Today's Disney might be a money-making company, but as far as I'm concerned, it lost it's heart and soul 26 long years ago.

NIGHT ON EARTH
Disappointing Jim Jarmusch film about taxi rides done in five segments. Worth seeing if you're willing to wade through a mire of self-indulgent and boring junk to get to the few excellent parts.

TIMECOP
Too much fighting, not enough time travel. Before I saw this film, I couldn't think of a bad time travel movie. And while not terrible, this Van Damme flick is quite disappointing. As it turns out, there IS at least one other bad time travel movie--the Star Trek one (4? 5? 6? 7?) with the whales.

DRACULA
A dreadful interpretation of the Bram Stoker thing, this film is an utter disaster. Coppola's directing is beyond clumsy, his use of cinematic effects beyond inappropriate. Keanu Reeve's laughable fake English accent starts this fiasco off on the wrong foot, and it just goes downhill from there. A good movie to catch 20 minutes of on cable.

BATMAN RETURNS
My boredom and frustration were felt as physical pain as I endured this piece of cinematic garbage. I hope I never see it again in any format. If you're one of the few who haven't been taken in yet, save your dough.

TOYS
This thing is an abomination. I can't even call it a movie. Without a doubt the worst thing I've ever seen on film, I felt corrupted and cheated after walking out of the theater. Stay away from this foul, dismally conceived calamity at all costs. No wonder Barry Levinson couldn't get this pile of crap made before he became a mega-Hollywood type. By making it, he sh*ts upon every member of the film-going public.

HOW DO THEY RATE?
(TWIN PEAKS FIRE WALK WITH ME, Natural Born Killers, Sirens, True Lies, THE PLAYER, The Lion King, Barcelona, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Surviving the Game, TRESPASS, COOL WORLD, The Mask, ALADDIN, NIGHT ON EARTH, Forrest Gump, Backbeat, TIME COP, The Crow, DRACULA, Baby's Day Out, BATMAN RETURNS, Clean Slate, The Flintstones, Thumbelina, TOYS)

*OW*



[[09010HT]] Halfevil Times

***HALFEVIL TIMES SOOPER NEWS***

SUMMER OF '94 SUCKED, SAYS PANEL
Stockholm, Sweden--a panel of international experts revealed their findings today that the period of Summer of this year, 1994, sucked. When asked to clarify, panel spokesman Lee Meckharts admitted there were no specific facts or figures, just "a sort of gut reaction." The last Summer that sucked was way back in 1979!

COLLEGE LOSERS BEATEN
Grand Rapids, Michigan--Last Wednesday, Grand Rapids Mayor Tom Reason declared that Friday was "Beat Up a College Loser Day"--effectively calling open season on higher education freaks and weirdoes, so long as no one was killed. His proclamation stated that "any person currently enrolled in one of our fine colleges or universities found to be engaged in: (a) playing fantasy card game "Magic: The Gathering", or (b) watching reruns or taped episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation", or (c) wearing medieval garb--shall be beaten up by any willing party, whom will be immune from criminal prosecution. Strangely enough, come Friday, not a single fantasy card game was played, and students were avoiding TV and wearing normal clothes. Two losers, however, were beaten to as pulp, because, as their assailants observed, "They had big Spock eyebrows."

TOOTH FAIRY TO REDUCE BENEFITS
Dental Valley, Fairyland--In a shocking announcement, Twinkle Dance, the Vice Tooth Fairy, revealed that due to rising insurance costs and risk of HIV, the amount of money paid for children's teeth will be cut by 65% or more. "Its really kills us to deprive the kids of their well-earned money--I mean, they grew the teeth, they lived with the teeth, and when harvest time comes, a kid expects his or her just rewards!" Dance added that if the Clinton Health plan had gone through, there would have been "a good possibility the entire Tooth Fairy Tooth-For-Cash Program would have been eliminated outright from the Fairyland State budget.

*OW*



[[10010SU]] Superior

SUPERIOR 73
Slanting tint the sine, torrid flat damp shackle. A blurry flash a rush of cartography, sevening nining lightninged. So silent city outskirt in silhouette, clangings forlorn into worn wall. Above the city it's goodnight in the night to meet the blasted incongruity hence, roaring with rafters befallen. Smile the lowly autochthon, feeling nerveshot octagon. Many an amazing crash pad anarchy, peace of the turnpike in night's minutes, forgetting so much more.

SUPERIOR 74
And wasn't many innit a reandy hats? Ah, knowing some jear? Humorous isle, place for wonderis grout. Just rememrelax, hon, just kill when it yes free anchor. Lord, know the way of Lop. And in a tiny, miniscule grens, I found vuwy.

SUPERIOR 75
Give what a earlian dense and is many. Jejune with floppy, then seemingly bad cartoon is walrus. Bent is as plastic paper, and the opaque streets are avenues in this frightening world. The lone knowledge of imps and the unfun disks of sylphs, are can form an attachment uncool. Duskdrives caffeine on the highways around Mountain Lakes with Erin with In Visible Silence on the tape. Years later I got the CD.

SUPERIOR 76
Was an early guy in a cat suit by the restaurant on five cool? It wasn't really the lens of the place, but an entrance and playground area with rubble that I was kind of. And if the yours and hunder was in the day. And I was wondering if the yest and meer are yongdin? No need to reply.

SUPERIOR 77
Far, the drain stone lighten. Unlapretend and handy, the merely snapping concrete mantas in an a parking lot excite you. Porfore, I salute the pink glass of Diane for a yes happy two hour. How'd it crash, that bright hypercycle of loony. How'd it crash--I'd been away, I'd say, I'd been rotten. So stand lightly the porch and fail to fresh-cut grass and fail to helicopter.

SUPERIOR 78
Beer, yeah it's a game, know? Shiester Dude, as your fame your handhold pal? Okay so there were deers last hay, deers who wouldn't quit. That's a laugh, byte boy, that's a shame. Record, and record well those noises no one knows where they come from from across the abandoned mall. I was--sitting at my table, and from out of nowhere a warrior tiny panda popped into my hand, and what he said annoyed me some. "I thought I'd seen the last of you ugly giants."

SUPERIOR 79
React, lumbore, to my insane attack, Jared. I stole her a hundred years ago so what? The fun path in 2281 is a place we like to visit--all rubber (like most things then)--soft and comfy. Humans know how to live in the 23rd--finally got the hang of robots! So friend, do not fret, your sweetie regards you little in her greatlife, and we let you live out of pity.

SUPERIOR 80
Fianly, you amuse me. For when the black, dark gray, red, yellow and green chariota took us to Benningford, the fog revealed your lifejoke--Liopis!

*OW*



[[11010SR]] Severe Repair

SEVERE REPAIR 10: "Toggle Joseph"

Bellicose Billion and Norlime Eckert sat on the small hill in the atmospheric forest. Billion, a moody largish fellow, was on his side toying with a daisy. Eckert, a worried-looking everyman, lied on his back with his hands behind his head. Neither spoke.

Soon a weird-looking youth with yellow-brownish skin came up to them. It was the annoying Toggle Joseph.

"Hum feedle trip!" Joseph burst.

"Play elsewhere, brat." Billion murmured.

"Selly belly..." Joseph said, his crossed eyes making him seem in a distant mental state.

"Take off." Billion said as if in a dream.

Joseph swayed in place for a few moments and then leapt to the ground and curled himself into a fetal position. Then he began singing in a yell.

"I am the butcher of Wilson Town! I chop up a pig to make you frown! Pee pee poo poo I am a clown! Bown sown chown nown bown stoopoostowm!"

Eckert lifted his head and glanced at the boy, for several moments, looked as if he were going to say something, decided against it, then went back to his original position.

There was silence for a while, save for some distant birds chirping their songs. Soon a gentle breeze came up, and Bellicose Billion began looking around.

"This is maybe a too-pleasant here. Eh Norlime." Billion said.

"Yeah mmm hmmm, sure." Eckert replied.

"I mean, the sun is just delicious, the smells an exciting pungent bliss." Billion said with some emotion.

"I like it cuz I need a little rest." Eckert said without much thought.

"Bloop bloop bloop..." Billion muttered lowly as he continued lazily playing with the daisy he help.

The breeze picked up a bit and the leaves on the trees shimmered in sound and light. Toggle Joseph then started to make buzzing and popping noises with his mouth.

"Quite an engine you make, Joe." Bellicose Billion said. "I'd like to stuff you in a car."

"Hoo!" Joseph yelped.

Norlime sat up and stared down at the ground to his right.

"Hey Bill." he said.

"As always." Billion said.

"Yeah, I mean, oughtn't we be getting back? Soon? How long are we here anyways?" Eckert said.

"Oh time." Billion said. "Time is bent under the foot of the bridger. We don't really exist--did you know that Norlime?"

Toggle Joseph began to flail around convulsively in the fallen leaves.

"Oh we exist all right." Eckert said. "If we didn't how could I beat this queer lad such!"

With that Eckert leapt forward and grabbed Joseph, tickling him. Joseph squirmed and laughed an odd laugh loudly.

"Stars above take me!" Billion announced as he tossed the flower away and fell onto his back, arms outstretched.

Eckert continued to tickle Joseph, who was starting to appear to drool.

Then Ow Muchy Moyar, an attractive black girl in a gray dress, walked up to the small hill along with Dandy Banish, a short, plump, cutish girl in a navy blue sweatsuit with white lettering.

"Look at these fine sailors!" Moyar stated in a sophisticated sounding voice.

Eckert stopped tickling Joseph and looked up in a somewhat embarrassed expression.

Joseph returned to a fetal position and burbled.

Banish giggled. "How ya doin' Belly?" she said to Billion.

"Dandy Banish I banish you to..." Billion said in a singsong manner.

Moyar strolled over to the hill and sat down in a formal fashion. Banish started to walk around the hill, clapping her hands with straightened arms alternately in front and in back of her. Eckert sat back upon the hill once again.

"I saw your macramé, Norlime." Moyar said as she looked over at Eckert.

"Oh yeah really?" Eckert said quickly, looking at Moyar.

"Yes it's quite nice. A fine job, in fact. Quite attractive in that foyer." Moyar said.

Eckert looked down and blushed visibly. "Oh it was nothing, y'know, just something I learned at camp." he said.

Moyar smiled and nodded her head, looking down at the ground distantly.

Banish was meandering around some nearby trees as the breeze changed direction and got palpably warmer and different.

"Norlime loves you, Muchy, if you don't know." Billion said matter-of-factly.

"Oh god..." Eckert began, looking up at Billion.

"Well it's true, isn't it?" Billion asked.

Eckert shrugged in a defensive manner, mouth open and with a martyrish expression, seeming on the verge of saying something.

"Come Norlime, tell me more." Moyar said in an exaggeratedly flattered manner.

"Ho jeez." Norlime said. "I mean... I never..."

"Toupee!" Toggle Joseph blurted out from his fetal ball, in a loud voice which seemed to echo briefly.

Ow Muchy Moyar turned towards the boy and said "I see Joe's in a good mood today."

"Indeed--indeeeeeeeeeed." Billion said.

"Hey Muchy!" Banish said from the other side of the hill.

"Yes Dandy?" Moyar asked.

"Didn't Ky say there was a little house that monsters live in somewhere in these woods?" Banish said.

"I believe she mentioned something of the sort. Why? Would you like to go on a hunt for it?" Moyar said.

"Sure, I'd be game. How 'bout you Belly? Nor? Joe? Wanna go on a monster hunt with us?" Banish said.

"A monster hunt how gauche." Billion said dryly.

"That sounds like a great idea. I've always wanted to see a monster." Eckert said, glad to find a diversion to the issue of his love for Ow Muchy Moyar.

"You mean other than Caff?" Moyar said.

Norlime laughed and nodded his head. "Or Vlad for that matter." he said.

"But of course." Moyar said.

Eckert clapped his hands and stood up. "Well, shall we be off?"

"What of our little Toggle?" Moyar asked.

Eckert walked over to Joseph, knelt down, grabbed the boy's arm, and began to lift him up. Joseph twisted about, breaking the grip, and fell back to the ground like a rag doll, giggling.

"Come now, boy." Eckert said as he tried again, only to have Joseph twist and fall again, giggling uncontrollably at this point. He tried several more times without much luck.

"He seems incapable of walking I fear." Eckert said with a smile.

Moyar smiled also, and began walking in the direction of Eckert and Banish.

"Be on yours merrie way." Billion said, still lying on his back. "I'll tend the brat for now."

"You're in a mood Bill." Moyar said wryly.

"Sip..." Billion muttered.

Banish walked over to Eckert and Moyar as the warm wind picked up a bit.

"I don't like this breeze. It's heavy and mean." Moyar said.

"Yeah it's queer." Eckert said.

"Well where do we start?" Banish said.

Eckert looked vaguely puzzled and Moyar seemed momentarily lost in thought.

"Dandy, when was the last time you saw Yaude and Kove?" Moyar asked finally.

"Dunno." Banish said. "A day or two back I guess. Not surprising with those two."

"No, but..." Moyar said, still seeming in a lightly disturbed think.

"I saw Kove last night. In the kitchen. He was gathering a load of victuals, and all he said was 'Just stealing some food.'" Eckert said.

"Huh..." Moyar said, thinking visibly.

"Why, is anything the matter?" Eckert asked.

"No. Not really. But... I saw a gleam in Kove's eye when Ky Ly mentioned the monster house. And with his and Yaude's proclivity to... er..." Moyar trailed off searching for the right words.

"...to inhabit obscure spots in which to copulate with each other." Billion said in an even tone.

"Yes. Thanks Bill. So you see what I mean?" Moyar said.

"Hmmm..." Eckert said.

"Likely." Banish said decidedly. "But I wonder what became of the monsters."

"Skewered." Eckert said authoritatively, nodding his head. "Skewered. That Kove Splate is a sicko with that sword of his. Sick."

Moyar nodded her head, smiling.

"Now Muchy my eyes are closed but I can almost hear your brain." Billion said. "If you've in mind what I guess then I might find the vim to rise from my swaying sweet repose."

"Hell it is tempting." Moyar said.

Dandy Banish smiled.

"What?" Eckert asked.

"Practical joke, sap." Billion said.

"Ohhhh..." Eckert said.

"We could do the dream thing." Banish said.

"The dream thing?" Eckert asked.

"The dream thing..." Billion echoed.

"Yes Nor, the dream thing." Banish said. "Where Muchy puts the two in a dream and us too, where we all become whatever we wish."

"You're talking about a sort of shared dream?" Eckert asked.

"Yes, as a mistress of slumber I have a heavy dominion over dreamworld. Hm! I can think of a good theme or two for them!" Moyar said.

"I knew you could make people sleep." Eckert said.

"Yes." Moyar said.

The wind died down to almost nothing. Toggle Joseph began making vague hyperactive growling noises in short bursts. Bellicose Billion sat up, groaning as if it were a supreme effort.

"I'm game." Billion said, suddenly jumping to his feet, his long black hair lopping over his face.

Ow Muchy Moyar looked about for a few seconds, and then said "Right. We're off."

They started walking off into the woods.

"What of Joe?" Eckert asked.

Moyar looked at the boy's limp form sprawled across the ground, a twisted smile on his face. "Oh, I'm sure Toggle will be fine lying here all alone in the middle of the forest." she said as she winked at the others, who nodded as they continued walking.

The four of them continued on, looking back periodically to check if Joseph had come into tow with them yet. As they got a good distance away, Joseph sprang up, smiling, and began to lope towards them in wild strides, screaming like a drunken banshee the whole way. Soon he caught up with them and fell into a more normal stride as he ceased his bellowing.

"Glad to see fear is still the universal motivation." Billion said plainly.

"We'll give Yaude and Kove a very nice surprise, I think. A very nice surprise." Moyar said slyly, as the five of them strode onwards into the woods.

Norlime Eckert, Dandy Banish, Bellicose Billion, Ow Muchy Moyar, and Toggle Joseph were a happy little band ambling pleasantly into the forest on a beautiful day. Beautiful, that is, except for an oddly oppressive warm wind from the south which was blowing.

"So where can we find this little... house?" Eckert asked Moyar.

"Oh I don't know. But I'd think five powerful persons such as ourselves shouldn't have much trouble if we walk around for long enough." Moyar responded.

"Yeah, powerful." Eckert quipped sarcastically.

"Well we are, Norlime." Banish commented. "I mean, does the average person wander around exotic alternate universes such as we do?"

"I didn't even know about all this crap about universes and stuff for most of my life." Norlime said.

"Oh come now," Billion said to Eckert, "you were somehow chosen by Overwhelm as--how do they put it--"the most outstanding personage on your Earth"--just as we all were. So you must have known something."

"Yeah well all I know is that story they told me about being a distant descendent of a goddess on my father's side and a god on my mother's side, and these two gods hated each other and killed each other and that I was the only human on Earth with the... DNA... or rather the trace of both their DNA's in my... body." Norlime said.

Toggle Joseph was spinning around and making low moaning noises as he walked along with them.

"Stooom! Stooom! Brooooooom!" he kept repeating.

"But didn't you ever notice any godly powers?" Billion asked Eckert.

"No, nothing at all. I had weird dreams when I was a kid, but otherwise I can't think of anything strange."

"Well," Billion said, "these 'Overwimp' higher-ups work in strange ways. Never quite understood it myself." He paused for a moment, and then added, "Right on target when they chose me, of course." Then he laughed a sarcastic little laugh.

"Oh but of course, but of course your highness, the great Sir Belly." Banish said.

"Ho ho." Billion said.

They continued walking without talking for a while. Joseph crawled along on all fours and shook his head from side to side, growling, as if he imagined himself some great cat.

After a few minutes the woods were getting noticeable thicker and darker, and the warm wind was a heavy as ever. They continued walking for quite some time. Then Bellicose Billion stopped and spoke.

"I'm not sure we're making much progress, girls. What say we... elaborate... on our game plan. Hmm?"

"I tend to agreed with you, Bill." Moyar said. "And therefore--what do you suggest?"

"Oh the pressure!" Billion lamented.

Banish walked over to Joseph, who was still on all fours and staring down at the ground, motionless. She knelt down and lifted him up into a sitting position. He looked at her with his trademark crooked smile and crossed eyes.

"Hey Joe," Banish said, "you're supposed to be so wise, whatta we do now, hey?"

Joseph cocked his head slightly and stared at Banish, a vague gleam of admiration in his eyes. Then he slowly brought his right hand upwards and pointed toward the sky. Then he spoke.

"Looky looky look, up in the air, pee pee man! See the monster house and poo poo in it!", Joseph said, and then he fell over onto his side and began laughing.

Banish looked up at the others.

"That's not a bad idea." she said.

Ow Muchy Moyar looked up slowly, shielding her eyes with her hand over her brow.

"Well it's a good idea if we can get up there. Can any of us fly?" Moyar said.

"I don't think so." Banish said.

"No I guess not." Moyar said.

"Wish I could." Billion added.

They walked around in lazy circles for several moments, thinking.

"What about superstrength?" Moyar finally said.

"Brilliant." Billion said. "We could climb one of the taller trees, if any of us have any left that is."

"I got some." Eckert said then.

"Enough to climb a tree?" Banish asked.

"Yeah, sure." Eckert said.

Billion walked over to Eckert, put his arm around his shoulder, turned him around, and started walking towards a nearby tall tree.

"Well my fine man, here's your tree!" Billion said in an overly dramatic fashion.

Bellicose Billion stepped back and Norlime Eckert looked up at the tree, which was several hundred feet high, and put his hands on his hips.

"S'matter Norlime, 'fraid a heights?" Dandy Banish asked.

"Ehhh... no. Just a funny idea, that's all. Guess I can... thrust my fingers into the wood for... handholds... y'know..." Eckert said.

"Yes no problem, now get going won't you? We haven't all day and I'm bored as it is." Billion said in a mock irritated manner.

"Cool your jets, ya harpshihairhead. I'm just getting psyched to do it, y'know." Eckert replied.

"The squirrels are looking forward to you Norlemonmerangue. Ready to stuff nuts into your ears." Billion said.

"Funny Vericose Killion, very funny." Eckert said.

Suddenly Toggle Joseph burst into song.

"Brandy and rum! Brandy and rum! Sixty-million jugs on a rug a tug tug! Steen! Steen! Tome a rumlit lettras skiing the breeeeeeeze! Cajue!"

Then suddenly Norlime yelled "Super!" and jumped onto to tree, a great leap at least twenty feet, fingers digging into the bark, shoed feet thrusting into wood. He scurried up as fast as could be, and was lost in the lofty treetops.

"He did that well." Ow Muchy Moyar said.

"How wery vell indeet." Billion added.

Up at the top of the towering tree, Norlime Eckert hung, clinging with superstrong fingers dug into bark and wood. He surveyed a breathtaking landscape of green hills, distant mountains, meandering rivers, and the like, all beautifully lit in the late afternoon sun. In the distance he could just barely make out the shoreline and a tiny dot which might have been the Urbandersnacheron IV, the pirate ship on which they were all crew members, and from which they were taking a well-deserved shore leave on this utopian world of furnace woven earth.

Turning his attention to the forest below, Norlime Eckert immediately reasoned that there was no way to see even the ground, let alone a house of little monsters, being that the canopy of trees was so thick. He cursed mildly and was about to jump back down, but then he spied a bare upwisp of smoke in the distance, a mile or two to the southeast.

After mentally marking the spot, Eckert summoned an extra burst of superstrength and push himself forcefully away from the tree, falling backwards. He figured that with the power of his launch, he would land hundreds of feet from the others.

"Look out below!" he yelled, in any event, his voice loudened by the superstrength.

As he flew backwards downwards, brushing against a tree here and there, he was reminded of the favorite roller coaster of his youth at Chaosatteer Pier. It's funny, he briefly thought, to think of one's childhood whilst plummeting in an alternate world.

Soon he landed with a loud thud, stirring up leaves and knocking down a small tree which was in his path, as well as leaving a small crater in the moist earth. A unquestionably fatal fall in his normal state, it hardly knocked the air out of him while under the effects of the Overwhelm-supplied superstrength.

Norlime Eckert then stood up, brushed himself off, and began walking back to the others, whom he reached swiftly.

"I've seen a shooting star, but a shooting Norlime? Never!" Bellicose Billion said wryly.

"Hey don't knock it till you've tried it." Eckert replied.

"Well?" Ow Muchy Moyar asked. "Any luck? Hmm?"

"Yes and no.", Norlime replied. "Couldn't really see anything on the ground, but I did see a trail of smoke rising, about two or three miles thataway." he said as he pointed towards the southeast.

Toggle Joseph stood up suddenly from his lying position as if a marionette suddenly jerked to life. He just stared off into space, however.

"Two or three miles?!? Are you mad?" Billion said incredulously.

"Well that's all I got." Eckert replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Too bad Eddie's not here." Dandy Banish offered. "He could probably whip us each a dirt bike from that coat of his."

"No use crying over spilt iodine..." Moyar said distantly.

"Aw c'mon, what's a couple a miles to such "powerful" beings as us? Hey?" Eckert asked.

"Well it'll be dark in a hour or two." Moyar said. "And we don't want to be lost in the woods at night. Who knows what beasts lurk these trees?"

"Go go go!" Toggle Joseph said quickly, while remaining perfectly still.

"Well he's the wise one." Billion noted. "What the hell. Let's go."

"What about the fall of night, Belly?" Banish asked Billion.

"Oh screw the veil of stars!" Billion exclaimed. "Doesn't anyone have a good enough supply of superstrength to carry the rest of us?"

"Not me, I'm worn out from that tree." Eckert said.

"I'm afraid I'm dreadfully low myself." Moyar said.

"Ditto for me, too." Banish said.

"And I'm about out myself. All that leaves is..." Billion said as they all turned their attention towards Toggle Joseph, who grunted briefly but remained motionless.

"How 'bout it Joe? You got enough?" Banish asked the odd youth.

Joseph stumbled briefly, turned around, walked up to a medium-size tree, wrapped his arms around it, and with barely an effort uprooted the damn multiton thing, and brought it slowly down into a horizontal position, and then continued to snap the upper portion off against the ground. He then looked up and smiled at the others.

"I guess that's your answer, Dandy." Moyar said. "Come on, let's get on!"

With that Joseph lowered the tree as the four clambered up onto it. When they were settled, Joseph lifted it above his head and began to run southeast at superstrength speeds.

"The only way to travel." Billion commented.

So they rode onwards through the forest, sideswiping a tree here and there, as Toggle Joseph continually had to alter his course to avoid all the trees. The four were hunched over and trying to protect themselves lest they find themselves tween this tree and another. A few minutes passed like this, with nothing said.

"I hope we're going the right way!" Moyar finally yelled.

"'The right way'?!? Did you say 'the right way'? Ha ha! Ha! That's a good one, Moyar. Ha!" Billion said.

"Well I hope we're going the right way." Moyar said.

"We're going the right way, aren't we?" said Eckert.

Nobody answered.

"Well aren't we?" he repeated.

"If we are I'll eat my hat." Billion responded.

"You haven't one." Banish commented.

"I've a few back at the ship." Billion said.

"Then a fine feast you'll have of them!" Moyar yelled.

"Heh?" exclaimed Billion.

"Look!" said Norlime. "Look up there! A little fire! That must be where the smoke I saw came from!"

"Indeed." Billion said dryly.

Toggle Joseph stopped about a hundred yards away from the little fire which appeared to be a campfire and put down the tree with a thud. The other four got off.

"What's that by the fire?" Norlime asked.

"I can't tell." Moyar said, placing her hand at her forehead.

"Only one way to find out." Billion said. "But that's not a house so we haven't come the right way after all so we'll have no need for 'hat' cuisine I don't think."

"But Belly," Banish said "that's the smoke Nor saw--so we did come the right way after all--hateater !"

"I just 'hat' it when you say things like that." Billion said as he began walking towards the campfire.

"Ugh! Another quip like that and you'll likely put us all in the hospital!" Banish said to Billion.

"And all this time I thought you 'hat' a sense of humor!" Billion said.

With this Dandy Banish clutched her hands to her chest, contorted her face, and made fake gagging noises.

"Ho ho." Billion said.

So they walked toward the campfire.

"What the hell is that?" Eckert said, squinting ahead at the campfire.

"Looks like some--people or something sitting around it." Moyar said.

"No I don't think they're people" Eckert said.

"Well what are they then?" said Dandy Banish.

"Oooooooooooooh, I know!" Billion said after they got a little closer.

"What?" Norlime asked.

"But you'll have to free me from my oath to eat my hat..." Billion said baitingly.

"We'll know soon enough!" Banish said. "But if it'll make you feel better--" she walked in front of Billion, turned around, and walked backwards, matching his pace, then held her arms out and shook them and said "walla ba blooey!" then fell back into a normal pace "You're freed from eating your hat, happy?"

"I'm ecst-'hat'-ic!" Billion said.

Banish began to cry a fake exaggerated cry.

"Okay troops..." Norlime said, "...look. They're creatures of some sort."

"Of course!" Billion yelled very loudly. "They were driven from their homes by Kove and Yaudey!"

With this outburst one of the creatures looked up, albeit lethargically and apathetically, and then looked down again, stoking the fire with a stick.

There were five monsters sitting around the campfire. They all had pale-blue fur, but otherwise seemed to be like large bipedal lizards with twisty black horns. There were three big ones and two little ones. They looked quite dejected.

As the party arrived close to the campfire, one of the monsters looked up, saw the party, rolled its eyes, sighed, and looked generally annoyed.

So the five walked up.

"Excuse us." Moyar finally said "We're, uh, wondering if, uh,..."

"Let me take care of this, Ow Muchy." Billion said as he stepped forward. "Now, ahem, were you turned out of your house by two kooks the other day?"

"Yes." one of the larger monster said in a depressed and annoyed tone.

"Very good." Billion said. "I-I mean, very bad. Yes, very bad. My, it looks like you have a nice 'hat' fire there!"

"Belly!" Banish yelled.

"Heh, sorry, I forg-'hat'!" Billion said.

Banish made a stupid look on her face and pretended to throw up.

"Now, may we introduce ourselves?" Moyar said to the monsters.

"There may be no need." another of the monsters said. "Those two came in and were as cordial as could be--then they started talking--for hour upon hour--until we couldn't stand it anymore--so we left--we just escaped--here, into the woods, to get away from them..." the monster seemed beside itself in irritation.

"Looks like they used extroversion as their tool of exile this time." Moyar said.

The other laughed a little.

"Well, uh, monsters, uh, may we join you?" Norlime asked.

"Only if you don't talk." one of the monsters said.

"Agreed." Moyar said.

Billion then laughed a sinister little laugh and rubbed his hands together as he sat next to one of the child monsters.

Then they all sat, silent, for a little while.

"Uh," Norlime then said "uh, sorry for talking and all, but, all I wanted to say was that we can get those two out of your house for you, if you want, you know."

All the monsters smiled.

"Oh really." one of the larger monsters said.

"Yeah, uh..." Norlime said, looking around at his cohorts for encouragement "...we can get'em out gang, right?"

Billion put his hand to his chin in an exaggerated 'deep-in-thought' look. Then he spoke in a shrewd voice.

"Eh... now that would depend upon, eh, what's in it for us..."

Then Banish and Moyar both let out annoyed "oh"s.

"That's real nice." Banish said to Billion "trying to extort money from these poor monsters. Sheesh."

"Ah," one of the monsters began "we don't mind paying you, if it's a reasonable offer."

"See?" Billion commented.

*OW*



[[12010AX]] Appendix

Confused? Here's Everything You Need to Know!

(This information is reprinted every issue in essentially the same form.)

The ezine OsoaWeek is the central product of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Each weekly issue is prepared as a plain vanilla ASCII file not less than 50K and not exceeding 100K, with the goal of being readable on as many computers as possible. Mac users will likely get little boxes on the lefthand column--this is due to the "hard return" needed at the end of every line on DOS machines. You can live with them, or search-and-replace them away (but please don't distribute any altered copies of OW!).

Meaning of codes: The first two-digit number is the sequential section number in this issue of OsoaWeek. The next three-digit number is the issue number of this OsoaWeek. The last element, a 2-character code, is shorthand for a given feature.

To search: To find the beginning of the next section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets with no spaces. To find a particular section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets followed by the two-digit section number, with no spaces. To find a particular feature, search for the string containing the two-character code followed by two righthand brackets, with no spaces. Using the latter method, you can find a particular feature in any issue of OsoaWeek without even referring to the contents.

The Contents are divided into three sections: (a) the introductory, informative, housekeeping sort of features, (b) stuff directly relating to the playing of Osoa, such as new Fonostas, events, info, etc., and (c) the general entertaining and informative section. These three areas are casual and separated for ease of use. To make it easy, in EVERY issue of OsoaWeek, the first section starts with Masthead (MH), the second with State of Obliviana (SO), and the third with Hemisinister Review (HR).

1-800-OBLIVIANA--This toll-free number can be called anytime from any phone in the Continental USA for the latest information on Obliviana, including samples of Obliviana sound bites!

Acknowledgments: I would like to thank my girlfriend Kerri for putting up with me while I spend countless hours developing OsoaWeek--thanks Kerri, I love you!

This Appendix is located at the end of the file because it contains boring, repetitive info you wouldn't want in your way.

Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) is an endeavor created by Frank Edward Nora, AKA, Lord of Obliviana. Osoa is fully independent and not affiliated with any other organization, belief, etc.

Here's a detailed introduction to Osoa:

You know there's something else going on in this world, but you can't quite pin it down. And you know there's something else going on with YOU. But it ever eludes you, and teases you, these glimpses of otherness.

On the subject of explaining the world, people generally consider that science and religion form a complete scale. Science dealing with the measurable and observable, and religion dealing with the supernatural and mysterious. But really, science is limited to physical measurement and observation, and religion is limited to gods, supernatural beings, how the world was created, and what happens to us when we die. But if you consider it, there is a vast realm of human experience which does not fall into either category. It is this realm that I call Obliviana.

Dreams, hunches, deja vu, luck, humor, creativity, emotions, intuition, events "working themselves out", psychic phenomenon, the atmospheres of certain places, memories from childhood, ruts, coincidence, "small world", and more. These are just the tip of the iceberg in Obliviana! Who knows what other exhilarating phenomena await our exploration?

With the dawn of the Digital Superworld, that complex and ever-expanding interconnection of computers, networks, and the like, the realm of human endeavor is drastically changed. We have glimpsed a danger in the mesmerizing qualities of even the worst television. In the Digital Superworld, this effect is magnified by several orders of magnitude--so even the cheapest and most worthless online activities become irresistibly engaging and addictive. Imagine a population fully engaged in such tripe--jacked in, spending more and more time engrossed in such pointless, empty activities as computers and robots do more and more of the work. Not a pretty picture, is it?

It is partially with the intent of preventing this nightmare that Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) was established on July 28, 1994. Osoa is the first and greatest endeavor to provide the world with a viable, broad-based, universally-compelling endeavor to provide CONTEXT in the Digital Superworld.

The exploration of Obliviana can be undertaken in a wild variety of ways. Check out the eleven Osoa Flowers (introduced in OsoaWeek001) for details. Also check out the first issue for details on establishing your very own Fonosta!

Osoa is an innovative and far-reaching game. Why a game? Well, aren't most explorations really games when you come right down to it? And, as a practical matter, some of the elements in Obliviana are too bizarre to be presented as anything OTHER than a game. So Obliviana as game can be looked at as shielding and candy-coating, but can also be viewed as cutting to the heart of the matter--hey, exploring the realm of Obliviana is not vital to our ongoing survival, but it is pretty darn entertaining and satisfying.

It is with the game of Obliviana running on the ever-expanding Digital Superworld that we can abandon the mediocrity of the past and make something very new, wild, and now.

*OW*



[[END010OW]]



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