|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- OSOAWEEK--ISSUE 009--9/22/94 <-------  ||  OsoaWeek  ||  Issues  ||  Book 1  ||  -------> (Cup OWis009, Created v1 (4/27/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = [[BEGIN009OW]] [[01009MH]] OsoaWeek009, September 22, 1994 Published by Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Contact via e-mail at obliviana@aol.com, via voice at 1-800-OBLIVIANA, or via snailmail at 37 Gill Lane, Suite 119, Iselin, NJ 08830, USA. On America Online, contact via "Obliviana". Copyright 1994 by Frank Edward Nora. Permission is granted to make complete, verbatim electronic copies of this ezine for the purpose of free distribution. All other forms of reproduction are forbidden without express written permission from Frank Edward Nora. This file should contain approximately 65399 characters and 1652 lines. OsoaWeek originates in the United States of America. Statement of Purpose: OsoaWeek is the weekly ezine of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa), an innovative and far-reaching game with an eye on the future. See the Appendix at the end of this file for a clear explanation of what Osoa is all about. And check out the Sneak Preview below (after Contents) for an overview of what's inside this issue! *OW* [[02009CN]] Contents of OsoaWeek009 BEGIN 01 009 MH--Masthead 02 009 CN--Contents 03 009 SP--Sneak Preview 04 009 LO--Lord of Obliviana Revelry 05 009 NH--Nihilistica 06 009 CO--Catalog of Obliviana * * * 07 009 SO--The State of Osoa * * * 08 009 HR--Hemisinister Review 09 009 HT--Halfevil Times 10 009 SU--Superior 11 009 SR--Severe Repair 12 009 AX--Appendix END Unless otherwise noted, all contents are by Frank Edward Nora. See Appendix for more information on the Contents, codes, and searching. *OW* [[03009SP]] Sneak Preview of OsoaWeek009 People, let's talk. It's been eight weeks since OsoaWeek began, and in that time, there's been a myriad of wonders for all to experience in this ezine! If you're just finding this file, check it out! And also locate and download the previous eight issues for an amazing amount of stimulating text that'll keep you occupied for a while! Y'know! Lord of Obliviana Revelry (04009LO) reveals a whole new core concept of Obliviana--involving our Contemporary Terrain and how cyberspace fits into it--revealing a powerful tool for finding the hidden world of Obliviana! Nihilistica (05009NH) introduces y'all to a very cool collection of fonts designed by none other then the Lord of Obliviana! The Balbitype 26 is a collection of 26 typefaces, each of which contains only 26 characters, taking the idea of display type to an exciting extreme! Catalog of Obliviana (06009CO) has all that great stuff you really ought to rev yourself up and order! Included are Pelter CD-ROM (a must for those of you with a CD-ROM equipped Mac) and Read This or Die!--an awesome collection of Zope comics, spanning the better part of a decade! Get yours hands on these and other ultra-limited, numbered, signed, and stamped artifacts! The State of Osoa (07009SO) takes a look back--way, way back at OsoaWeek001, eight long weeks ago! The differences between Osoa then and now are explored, as well as future plans for a major overhaul of the nascent Osoa system! Hemisinister Review (08009HR) delivers an in-depth look at Walt Disney World, a Vacation Kingdom in transition! Join the Lord of Obliviana as he details his whirlwind 40 hours "hyperdisney experience", reviewing 18 different features and attractions, including the rumored FOURTH THEME PARK! Halfevil Times (09009HT) brings you yet another installment of Classic Fights, with your friendly neighborhood prognosticators, Iggy Szalzo and Gil Mannings! This time, find out who would win if the Carolina Panthers fought the Naked Girl from the Designer Impostors TV Commercial! Superior (10009SU) sets forth with "nervous system melting, surroundings collapsing", chugs along past "that time, that rainy days were, that fine time", falls over onto "moved in suproccult may hem the daughter", and end with the mysterious words "All of us are unbeatles!". It's a blast from the blast with Superior! Severe Repair (11009SR)--this time, in "Pattern Integrity", we find Fake, Daptin, and Jerald in a violent confrontation with Cup's Club! The chapter opens right after Fake set of a massive wave of destruction with a slay balloon. Soon, Daptin makes a serious mistake and finds himself standing in a desolate area long after the end of the universe--but can the Ultra Occult Entity Obfuser save him? Check out the story to find out! Appendix (12009AX) has the answers! You know, man? Check it out! *OW* [[04009LO]] Lord of Obliviana Revelry Uh, hi. I'm Frank Edward Nora, otherwise known as Lord of Obliviana. I'm here this week as I am every week to fill you in on the latest happenings in Obliviana. This here is the ninth weekly issue of OsoaWeek, and I have to say that at this point I am much more concerned with getting OsoaWeek out every week than promoting it. As a result, every issue has been released on time, but it still has a rather limited readership. But the beauty of ezines is that every issue will be perpetually available, possibly for the rest of human history! So I'm not overly concerned about OsoaWeek's slow start. As you know if you've read previous issues of OsoaWeek, I have been developing Obliviana Super Occult Amusement, in one form or another, pretty consistently since 1986. It is clear, however, that up till now my endeavors have met with very limited distribution. So in many ways, OsoaWeek IS INDEED the true beginning of Obliviana. And I am constantly refining Obliviana, to the point now that I'm dizzied by my constant metamorphosizing of the details of Obliviana. And this is the state I am in now, but I feel strongly that I'm zeroing in on the final foundation. Let me introduce you to some of the concepts in this "final foundation", that which will serve as the basis for all future construction in Osoa. Okay. First, I want to introduce the idea of Contemporary Terrain (CT). The world most of us live in these days is a world of cars and highways, malls and supermarkets, cash and cable TV, workdays and weekends, video games and libraries, parks and alcohol, Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's, and so on. To me, this realm, this CT, is a wonderful place. Sure, people knock it, seeking grandiose ideals, but to me, CT is a sort of Utopia. I mean, the average guy in CT has a lifestyle that's absolutely beyond godlike, from a primitive perspective. Anyway, it's very interesting to note that TV is an integral part of CT, even though it's just a moving picture on a little screen, with sound. And make no mistake--TV is a place, a place where people spend a lot of time. A place, even though it's not a physical place. So this brings up an interesting question--if non-interactive TV is an integral part of CT, and a place unto itself, what does that mean for cyberspace? Already, a lot of people (myself included) spend a good deal of time online. A service such as America Online is a place in CT, even more compelling than TV. But cyberspace is very different from TV. It's a place where one is not just an observer and selector of channels, but where one has just about infinite power to do infinite things. This in and of itself is pretty good, but when it's taken into account that cyberspace is part and parcel of Contemporary Terrain, some interesting issues arise. Basically, cyberspace is as much a part of CT as a shopping mall, a restaurant, a museum, a place of work, or whatever. Cyberspace, like physical locations, is a PLACE. And as CT is composed of PLACES rather than physical locations, cyberspace is part of a seamless whole in CT. This means that in terms of CT, cyberspace is seamlessly connected to the physical world! And it is THIS phenomenon which is vital to Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. See, the central concept in Osoa is that Obliviana is a place, a physical place, which can be gotten to, but not without very great difficulty. Enter cyberspace--as a seamless continuation of the physical world, the unheard of freedom and power of computer-moderated worlds provides the watershed tool for finally discovering a way to Obliviana. So this is what Obliviana Super Occult Amusement is--an outpost on the edge of cyberspace for pioneers of Oblivianan exploration. But in order to be such a gateway into the unknown, Osoa has to be a state-of-the-art cyberspace establishment, providing entertainment, resources, and information to all who call Osoa their cyberhome away from home. And this is indeed what Osoa is! An important point to remember is that Osoa is not any one specific BBS, cyberworld, set of people, or anything of the sort. Osoa is an ideal and a library of intellectual property. So right now, at the beginning of Osoa, do not fret that this ezine OsoaWeek IS CURRENTLY THE INFRASTRUCTURE OF OSOA! That is, there is no BBS, no online system, no virtual world. For now, this weekly ezine IS all of Osoa! Now of course, I am working to expand the Osoan infrastructure, but for the time being, if you read OsoaWeek every week, you are indeed one of the first pioneers of Obliviana! So stick with OsoaWeek, and by all means, refer back to OsoaWeek001 and get your Fonosta in--at this point, you're just about guaranteed a single-digit number! Well, that's it for now. Have a fine week there, and by all means, GET ALL OBLIVIANA! *OW* [[05009NH]] Nihilistica ***BALBITYPE*** There are 26 letters in the Roman alphabet, but if you're familiar with computer typography, you know that there are a whole lot more than that needed to set type. There are numbers, punctuation, foreign characters and accents, italics, bolds, small caps, and the like. In fact, a single family of type, such as Goudy Old Style, has hundreds and hundreds of individual characters. Now, while all these extraneous characters are vital to setting text, they aren't so important in display applications. But still, even with the most ornamental of display faces, we see hundreds of variations of characters. It is this ridiculous situation, where simple display faces have bolds, italics, expert sets, Hungarian characters, and the like that has prompted me to create The Balbitype 26. The Balbitype 26 is a set of 26 display typefaces reduced to the most basic set of characters possible--26 each. A single case (no upper/lowercase), no numbers, no punctuation, no variations. This is the ideal of The Balbitype 26. 26 typefaces made up of a total of 676 characters. Here are the names of half of The Balbitype 26--Antarctica, Beer, Caffeine, Clobber, Disaster, Endgame, Hacksaw, Idiot, Oblivion, Slumber, Way, Xenon, and Yesterday. Look for THE BALBITYPE 26 in the months to come! *OW* [[06009CO]] Catalog of Obliviana With more and more of your life switching over to digital, isn't it nice to be able to obtain something unique to the physical world? That's what Obliviana Artifacts are all about! Each one is signed, numbered, stamped, and very limited! So for the best in non-digital thrills, order often from the mighty Catalog of Obliviana! You can always call 1-800-OBLIVIANA to check out how many of a given Artifact are left, and also reserve an item. Your Artifact will be held for 5 business days, awaiting your order. I keep two of everything, so the initial amount available is at least two less than the total. To order, send check or money order made out to Frank Edward Nora, or cash (at your own risk), to the address in the Masthead. All prices include postage and handling. Guarantee: Return any Artifact within 30 days of receiving it for a full refund. MINIATURE SUPER OBJECT 1: NON-THORIUM ANTENNA This is a strange little Super Object I developed some time ago as an incentive item to get you to order one of my former magazines. I got no orders, though. Now, there are 40 Non-Thorium Antennas, complete with tiny plastic container and title card. 28 left. OA001. Only $3 each! PERFECT FOVY Fovy was a publication I released fortnightly for five issues last Autumn. Each issue is on one folded-up 11 x 17 sheet of paper, with an awesome 8-Codingseed poster on one side and cool stuff on the other, including two Zope comics per issue! A wonderful collection, bound with a paper band, and only 26 made. 24 left. OA002. Yours for $5! PELTER CD-ROM This is an actual CD-ROM I had pressed over a year ago, and it contains 256 of the coolest clip textures you ever saw! Being for the Macintosh, each image is a 512 pixel by 512 pixel 32-bit color image. As well, each image comes in 6 varieties! These are 32-bit, 8-bit, grayscale, tiled 32-bit, tiled 8-bit, and tiled grayscale. This product never saw commercial release because, (a) I blew all my money just producing it, and (b) I'm too lazy and wary to have anyone else produce it. So! A great bargain, with only 40 copies available. Includes the original color-photocopied cover, and a brand new insert with updated information. Requires Macintosh computer with CD-ROM drive. 38 left. OA003. Only $30 each! READ THIS OR DIE! An awesome collection of Zope comics spanning eight years! Contains twenty sheets of colored paper, with 40 Zope comics in all! Included are "Zope's Resin Conundrum", "Zope's Little Puppet", "Doctor Zope and the Abdomen Ghoul", and loads more! Each set not only has the usual signature, stamp, and number--but an original drawing of Zope as well! All bound together with a big binder clip. A very raw artifact! 20 made, 7 left. OA005. $4 each. *OW* [[07009SO]] The State of Osoa If you read the Lord of Obliviana Revelry above, you'll see that there are some major refinements to Obliviana Super Occult Amusement taking place! So what I want to do for you this week is to look back at OsoaWeek001, eight long weeks ago, and see how that original stuff fits or doesn't fit in this quickly evolving new Osoa. First of all, as I alluded to in my Revelry, there has not been much of a response to Osoa as of yet. There are only a few Fonostas, and these from people I know. This state of affairs does not surprise me--as stated above, I have been focusing on production these eight weeks so far, and have had little time for the sort of promotion that would get a lot of folks involved. Now, OsoaWeek is roughly organized into 13-week quarters. That is, each set of 13 issues takes about a quarter of a year to produce, and each quarter of OsoaWeeks will be packaged together for future reference. With this in mind, I will save the big renovation of Osoa until OsoaWeek014, scheduled for October 27, 1994. The core concept of Obliviana was developed after OsoaWeek001--the idea that Obliviana is a physical place, and that the goal of Osoa is to get there. This, along with the new ideas from this issue's Revelry--the idea that in Contemporary Terrain, cyberspace is seamlessly connected to physical space--and that the proper utilization of this phenomenon will be an indispensable tool in discovering a way to Obliviana--strongly change the state of Osoa. So--in general, the stuff in OsoaWeek001 is still valid, but only part of the new picture. Fonostas are still a central part of everything, but they will be expanded greatly from what they currently are. The Flowers are still extremely important, in that they define the basic strategies for exploring Obliviana. Obliviana Primal shall remain, but as is alluded to in Tourney, the totality of OP will be but a single part of the whole of the cyberspace of Osoa, with a Tourney-like place being at the center of everything. The Quanxactive teams shall remain, and expansion is possible. Tarbs will be brought into more regular use, and renaming may occur. The set of Osoa Totems is also subject to change, in line with an overall Osoa style directive. This will also affect the colors, names, devices, and the like. So there it is! Don't let this hold you back from sending in your Fonosta--the number you get will stay the same no matter what changes take place. But keep October 27, 1994 in mind--because it will be in OsoaWeek014 that Osoa will see a brand new dawn! *OW* [[08009HR]] Hemisinister Review ***WALT DISNEY WORLD*** Last week I executed a successful "hyperdisney experience"--I left Newark Airport at 8:30 am Monday, and returned at 11:00 pm Tuesday, for a total time of about 40 hours (including the drive back and forth to the airport). I lucked out in that there were very few lines to speak of--for most rides, you could just walk right on. Being alone also helped--I've been down there with a group of people and man does it slow things down. The last time I was there was the Summer of 1986, over eight years ago--and boy have things changed! There's a dizzying array of new attractions of all sorts, including a new theme park (Disney-MGM Studios), an adult nighttime hangout (Pleasure Island), another water park (Typhoon Lagoon), and new rides (Splash Mountain, et al). But there's also a disturbing trend--the wholesale demolition of certain attractions. Among the trashed are If You Had Wings in Tomorrowland (replaced by Dreamflight), ALL of Communicore in EPCOT (replaced by Innoventions), Kitchen Cabaret, in The Land in EPCOT (replaced by Food Rocks), and possibly the guts of Spaceship Earth in EPCOT, which is currently under renovation. It does seem that Tomorrowland (Magic Kingdom, early '70s) and Future World (EPCOT, early '80s) are the hardest hit, both in the middle of full-scale recreations. And it is true that these days, attractions based on possible near futures can get really dated really fast. But it's a shame that such wonderful features of Walt Disney World are being destroyed. (Maybe they could open a new theme park, full of all the attractions removed from other parks?) Anyway, here's a look at some of the highlights, in no particular order... PLEASURE ISLAND A collection of night clubs, movie theaters, shops, and the like, meant to give adults something to do at night. New Year's Eve is celebrated every night, complete with confetti cannons. There are clubs for many tastes--rock, jazz, country, dance, '70s, and the like--but most of them are pretty dull, especially for folks like me who don't go to clubs. There is one worthwhile place, though, The Adventurer's Club, chock full of bric-a-brac and audio-animatronics. Every few minutes something happens, from a moose head on the wall talking, to a puppet interacting with the audience, to masks speaking, to sing-alongs, and the like. Also, an enormous, spherical Planet Hollywood is being built next to Pleasure Island. All-in-all, a waste. BLIZZARD BEACH A new water park currently under construction. It's pretty cool to see the various metal molded forms laying out in a field, waiting to be placed in the construction. Apparently, the water is going to be very, very cold at this attraction. DISNEY BOARDWALK Under construction next to the Swan and Dolphin hotels, this attraction, scheduled for a '96 opening, looks like it will be a Disney interpretation of the classic boardwalk. WONDERS OF LIFE The newest Future World pavilion in EPCOT, this domed structure houses a disappointing array of features. Body Wars is one of those lame motion-control rides a la Fantastic Voyage. Cranium Command is a better, part audio-animatronic, part-film humorous feature about people who pilot brains. Martin Short stars in an okay film about the birth process, not as graphic as the warning signs promise. A variety of walk-up exhibits are very dull and museum-like. All in all, pretty disappointing, but the Beta Carotene Salad is tops (I didn't try the venison chili, since I'm a vegetarian). SPLASH MOUNTAIN A very pleasant surprise, this "Song of the South" based log flume ride stars Brers Rabbit, Fox, Bear, et al. Easily a classic, this marathon ventures sends you over numerous small flumes, through marvelous audio-animatronic scenes (including a very nice "Laughing Place"), and finally down a 52-foot not-as-scary-as-it-looks drop. After the drop, you go through a joyous riverboat scene to the tune of "Zippity Doo Dah!" (this scene is also visible from the train which encircles Magic Kingdom). An exceedingly well-done attraction! NORWAY A happy surprise in the often-lame World Showcase of EPCOT, Norway is really cool. There's a reproduction church with no signs on its doors, which seems inaccessible, but when a venturesome soul tries the door, a cool display of Arctic exploration awaits inside. In the main area, a nice waterfall cascades from a dark cave. But the greatest feature here is the Maelstrom ride, which takes visitors through the history of Norway on little Viking boats. But this ride plays with the whole idea of such rides, and halfway through, trolls send the boat backward, down a waterfall! After passing a cool standing audio-animatronic polar bear, if you look behind you, you'll see that you're INSIDE the dark cave you saw from outside, heading for the waterfall! But of course, you stop in the nick of time, and move forward again, down a respectable drop, into the coolest part of the ride, a giant oil platform in a stormy sea. Afterward, you have to sit through a pretty dull 5-minute film about Norway, but thank goodness it can be easily bypassed. I went on Maelstrom three times in a row--it's definitely the best attraction in all of World Showcase! INTERNATIONAL GATEWAY Right between France and United Kingdom, there's a very cool alternate entrance to EPCOT--with four enormous hotels within walking distance! The Beach Club and Yacht Club are expensive Disney resorts, and the Swan and Dolphin are huge, architecturally-awe-inspiring hotels run by an outside company. The huge shells, fountains, basins, and the like on these two hotels are fun and excess taken to a pleasing extreme. Boats connect the lazy to both EPCOT and Disney-MGM Studios. TWILIGHT ZONE TOWER OF TERROR There's a ride at Great Adventure in NJ called Fretful, where a little car is raised high in the air and then dropped to the ground. This simple ride is embellished to a remarkable extent in this massive ride at Disney-MGM Studios. The structure itself is an impressive, huge, run-down-looking building with a flickering neon sign reading "The Hollywood Tower Hotel". The grounds and entry area are art directed to perfection, with a run-down, broken, dirty look. Inside, visitors are first taken inside a library, where a Twilight Zone introduction is shown on a TV, along with the real Rod Serling. Then folks are lead through the building's basement, a nicely convincing collection of boilers, pipes, and the like. Finally, the service elevator is reached, where 15 or 20 people take a seat for a ride through the Tower with a variety of cool special effects. Finally, a door opens up, and you find yourself BEHIND the neon sign, looking out at the park. You see some electrical sparks and then you plunge 13 stories. I like the whole experience EXCEPT for the drop, which I've never really been fond of. But all-in-all, an amazing Imagineering achievement! TOMORROWLAND Bad move, Disney. In totally revamping Tomorrowland, they've chosen a cheesy, retro '50s, Jetsons style which I find rather repulsive. My favorite attraction of old, the WEDway Peoplemover(a little trainlike thing you ride for a preview of all of Tomorrowland) is now called Tomorrowland Metro Transit or something, and has an annoying Don Pardo advising passenger to "please keep all tentacles and antennae inside the vehicle" and other lame stuff. Mission to Mars, Circlevision 360, If You Had Wings, and who knows what else are trashed. Dreamflight is a horrible replacement for If You Had Wings--another of my favorites from the past. Promised new rides are Alien Encounter and a time travel ride. What a shame what they've done. HALL OF PRESIDENTS Jeez! Inaugural poet Maya Angelou stumbles her way through her narration, and gushes as she introduces "our current President--BILL CLINTON!" It's sick to see the latest generation audio-animatronics wasted on Slick Willie, and it's hard to listen to his bullsh*t speech--especially since Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and company are looking at him with such respect. What a joke! Some PC Disney assh*le must be responsible for this pathetic update to a once-great attraction! ALL-STAR SPORTS RESORT Finally, a real cheapo Disney hotel! This large complex of buildings, each themed with a sport (tennis, football, baseball, basketball, or surfing) and having giant adornments such as surfboards, whistles, tennis-ball cans and the like, offers rooms for as low as $69 a night--compared to $300+ at some of the other resorts. The accommodations are comfortable, and a terrifically easy bus system whisks guests off to any desired attraction. It's where I stayed--the only problem was the marathon lines for check-in and check-out--the people were a bit stupid and their Windows-based computers were always down. MICKEY'S STARLAND The absolute worst new thing in all of WDW, this area has Mickey Mouse's home, which you can walk through, but which isn't very special. A lame-ass petting zoo and live show which I avoided are about the only other attractions here, besides a train station. Maybe it is just for kids, I don't know, but usually Disney has been able to make attraction with appeal at both a child and adult level. Oh well. DISNEY-MGM STUDIOS Better than I imagined. Twilight Zone Tower of Terror dominates the scene, far more a landmark than the "Earful Tower", a water tower with Mickey Mouse ears. The Great Movie Ride isn't so great. Muppet-Vision 3-D was good, with lots of special effects and audio-animatronics adding to a good 3-D film (viewers are even sprayed with water from the ceiling when Fozzie Bear sprays a seltzer bottle!). All the backstage stuff is fun, and in the few hours I was there, I did manage to see a celebrity--Ed MacMahon--but for some reason I had no desire for an autograph. Some of the movie props were cool too, like a set from "Nightmare Before Xmas" and the very best--the 3-D chess table (as seen in the Millennium Falcon) from Star Wars! In addition, a store, "Sid Caheunga's" sells clothing and stuff worn by the stars. I passed on a $300 or $400 pair of sandals worn by Jean-Claude Van Damme. Not as good as Magic Kingdom or EPCOT, but pretty nice nonetheless. PRIMEVAL WORLD? Gleaned from rumors and overheard conversations, this seems to be the fabled fourth theme park. It would cover Africa, Rain Forests, Australia, primitive societies, the environment, and all that. I have no idea when it might be completed, but before 2000 is a good bet. THE LAND Once sponsored by Kraft, this once-great pavilion is now sponsored by Nestle and is lame. The great Kitchen Kabaret was wrecked and replaced with the stupid Food Rocks, starring such great characters as "Pita Gabriel". Duh! Also, Listen to the Land, including the great song of the same name, was converted into an environmentalist whining session called Living with the Land. I didn't even bother to see what new film was playing in the Harvest Theater. At least they kept the revolving restaurant, albeit with a new name. I'm afraid this is the sort of destructive phenomenon we're gonna eventually see with all of Future World! INNOVENTIONS The great Communicore, so much a part of the old EPCOT, was entirely gutted and replaced with this okay, but nowhere near match. THE highlight is the Sega area, complete with previews of upcoming games (like Sonic & Knuckles, which I tried!), along with one of three AS-1 simulation pods (the other two are at Luxor in Las Vegas). Other areas of Innoventions have displays by such companies as AT&T, Apple Computer, and even Lego, with their new computerized "Dacta" system. A real nice surprise was the Imagineering Lab, a real development center where they demonstrated a radical Aladdin VR system, and where you can sit at their desks in their chairs! But all-in-all, the loss of Communicore is really tragic. MONORAIL SYSTEM Totally revamped trains are a welcome refinement to this key element of WDW. The compartments are much roomier and allow for both standing and sitting. Off-the-scale coolness factor as usual. And I even got to ride in the front one time! CONTEMPORARY HOTEL Nearing its 25th birthday, this monument to coolness, with monorails gliding through its cavernous Grand Canyon Concourse, this resort has retained much of its excellence through an extensive remodeling. The Fiesta Fun Center is much diminished from its state years ago, but there's something about the place that can't be destroyed by even the most ambitious destructo-Imagineer. *OW* [[09009HT]] Halfevil Times HALFEVIL TIMES CLASSIC FIGHTS With Iggy Szalzo and Gil Mannings CAROLINA PANTHERS vs. NAKED GIRL FROM DESIGNER IMPOSTORS TV COMMERCIAL Iggy--Naked Girl's supply of perfume spray is as good as mace, and with those gray rectangles protecting her more sensitive areas, I see her kicking the living crap out of this not-yet-in-existence NFL football team. Gil--"Ooh", "yeah", and "uhn!" seem to be the only words Naked Girl knows. She herself is an impostor--how can she call herself naked with those ridiculous gray bars covering her breasts and genital region? Her spray will have little, if any effect on the rough and tumble pre-existent Panther team members. Panthers by pure pummeling. *OW* [[10009SU]] Superior SUPERIOR 65 Nervous system melting, surroundings collapsing, perceptions folding, life reeling, grass wet and too cold, moon stabbing me in the mouth, a wet plop of pasta slams into the dirt, eyeballs tired and reluctant, clear plastic cassette case shatters and cuts my foot, I'm driving and I cry for no reason, tension in my neck and I don't know what to do, flooding damages my stuff, nervous tapping on a towel as I eye myself in the mirror, damn light on the tower too bright, an eerie fog for real this time, I must be. Sometimes reality gets abolished for a while. This might relate to the story I'm going to tell you. SUPERIOR 66 Song: I must be dreaming, I can't find the light on the wall, I can believe this story, if you will just become me, and when the time is up, we'll defy the Lord, and go on for eternity, so we will fly and we will try, my dear my baby my love my lust, please believe my cries, I must be near you, must endear you, must feel yer naked body next to mine, and we will perish never, baby I'm the one, and we will vanish never, baby come to me...through years intense, I forgot you, and now I'm here old and gray and I lament the day I met you cause my life's been Hell. SUPERIOR 67 And as the cars went for end I, unlike and forunderan, pleases all at let's say you were in a stations. Peerdal and washaflun the darn lil echo feeloat. Tearsdean alack for the rise on the way haze, he well wandards. Peerfanas laklanliblas, oh es the marn gearashanan bleesk. The road I'd cycle on, all along, that time, that rainy days were, that fine time, is day in is point of great like. Can only speedy the down hill the at roadsend, I'd say? SUPERIOR 68 Some are your, just sent real quickly and gentle and fond of just any lamp-world. Of the set of all tentiharnabins is a set of all snake-loome. Just in this world of everything is a few which are High, and in that yet and hut that and going. Who wants such pointer? Only Varnishiana and. SUPERIOR 69 All was the seem, hay weeds at field, late night evening it afternoon, and those of twinkle. About the night was late, the course of the collision in frame reference cloak. At cloak is here! Through as it, cool TV room night, in glow of cool movie. Up the street to woods, as highway ath it humming. About here, all in cause, as in gauge. SUPERIOR 70 Dismiss 1979. Where is the time I was into? Where is the time I was into. Walk away the all the day. Moved in suproccult may hem the daughter. The time was the young stupid thought my time was spent in. A train station in a dream isn't such a bad place. Seeking in the dark day matters little. SUPERIOR 71 Be at overpass, dammit. Geese are independent. SUPERIOR 72 Our feelings for others are not good! Play pinball, widow! Up and insert through rain slamming the late afternoon! Like drinking paper--not a funny joke! To be here all day--not too likely! I think I can remember some of it! So you the best of set--or the time is near! Go and be with the one you wish! Net result of all the confusion is the clearest clarity of all! All of us are unbeatles! *OW* [[11009SR]] Severe Repair SEVERE REPAIR 9: "Pattern Integrity" She popped it and it worked. All the three could see was a gray haze all about them, and all they could hear was a clamorous and shrieking thunder. "I guess we killed them." Daptin Gone said, his voice nearly drowned by the din. "We had to." said Jerald Hapal Hatch. "I didn't know it would be this... serious." Fake Cerquaine said. "What?" Daptin asked. "The balloon." Fake said. "Oh." The three could now see the dark gray destruction swirling about all around, and it was like they were in a glass sphere--the slay balloon's safe area. The clamor continued with no sign of diminishing. "Okay wait." Tavmatey Numblem said from within the cup of coffee. "Okay what's the matter." "Huh?" Daptin said. "Did you say something, Tavmatey?" "I said, what's the matter!" "We had to use a slay balloon. A gang of fighters came upon us, with saws and guns and stuff." "That's not possible. You're not still in Boltpike, are you?" "I don't know. Why shouldn't we be?" "Elaine deceived you. El Flactor Floor was in on it. The cup of coffee--they know more about it than they told you. The situation-to-reality aspect ratio is so tight in Avert that you can't really transport the cup more than a few hundred feet." "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm telling you everything I know--you might be dead soon and all. But no--like I said, the reason for the journey, the mission, was to get you here. They didn't want the cupslip in their own city, so they had you do it in Boltpike. The thing with the loudness of my voice--all untrue." "So hold on--are you really in the cup or what?" "Yes! I mean, I'm here in this place. It's like I have a normal life, but it's not my own. I live here and stuff. And I have my friends, but it's just a fancy jail cell, as far as I'm concerned." "But Tavmatey--what the hell is your involvement in the cup?" "I--there's a nearby world--I guess--where me and you were like--I dunno." "Tavmatey--we can talk about all this later. Just tell me where we are right now. Okay? Where are we?" "I'm unsure. My major cupslip was from Earth, with a much looser ratio. Coming from an Avert City like Boltpike, I don't know. It changes both reality and situation, though. That's how I got into this current life. Situation just wrapped around me in this way, and here I am." "But what sort of place is this?" "I don't know--why don't you look around and see?" "I can't! The balloon's destruction is still exploding, if you can't hear it. It was a wilderness area, but with tended grass. I heard a lawn mower, so there must be people nearby--who I guess we just killed, along with that gang. Sorry folks..." "Now Daptin, this gang--I heard them say something about the cup?" "They said they were looking for the cup and finally found it." All of a sudden the clamor died down, and there was a sound not dissimilar to that of a toilet flushing. The gray cloud began to lighten. "I guess that's the extent of it." Fake said, looking down at the unimpressive pooped balloon on the ground. "Heads up!" Jerald said, pointing his submachinegun toward a dark shape looming in the gray cloud. "What the--" Daptin began. The shape disappeared, but a moment later, a person appeared a few feet away from Daptin, Fake, and Jerald. It was the girl with the big weird rifle. She wore a blue and brown military uniform, and sported wavy light brown lovely hair. She appeared barely into her twenties. "Now I can hurt you, but you can't hurt me. I'm willing to listen to what you might have to say, so save your ammo. This me, Pattern Integrity." the girl, Pattern Integrity, said. Jerald raised his gun and backed away. "I'm not fooling around!" Pattern said, pointing her rifle at Jerald. Jerald continued to back up, passing outside the perimeter of the safe area. A few seconds later, he stumbled back in, coughing, and dropped to his knees. "Pretty nasty out there, huh?" Pattern asked. "Look, who the hell are you?" Fake asked. Pattern swung her rifle around and pointed it at Fake. Fake held up her hands and smiled a nervous smile. Her cinder block hovered warily above her shoulder. "If it means anything, we can't be killed either." Fake said. "Maybe not, but I could probably injure you." Pattern said, then she turned her attention to the cup of coffee. Daptin faced her. "You like it?" Daptin said, holding up the cup and willing his frost flame to burn with great intensity. "Yes I like it." Pattern said. "I haven't seen it for a long time." Jerald, still choking, raised his gun and fired a short burst at Pattern Integrity. It hit her in the chest, and she vanished for a moment, then reappeared, unharmed. She then pointed her rifle at Jerald and shot a short yellow energy burst at him. Jerald collapsed immediately. "Now talk about what you did and who you are." Pattern said. "Um--well, we're mortal agents from Agoopish on a special mission." Daptin said. "Apparently, we were deceived by our superiors, and we wound up in this place, wherever it is. Our mission was--is--to rescue a woman named Tavmatey Numblem, who we can hear from within the cup." "We were charged to use the cup and then safely return it." Fake said. "Your little gang seemed intent upon using force against us, so we decided to use force against you instead. But I guess you lived, unfortunately." "Well," Pattern said. "I have personal reasons for wanting to rediscover the cup. I understand your position, but I will have it. Hand it over now, boy." Pattern Integrity lowered her gun and approached Daptin, her hand outstretched for the cup. "Super!" Daptin yelled, as he brought his right hand up over his left shoulder, then savagely hit Pattern on the side of the head with the back of his hand. Such was the ferocity of the blow that Pattern's head was half ripped from her neck. For a moment, she was a bloody mess, but she quickly vanished and reappeared in the air above Daptin, with her rifle's barrel pointed at Daptin's forehead, lightly touching it. "That was an interesting sensation." the floating girl said. "I see you're quite a strong little brat. Now put down the cup or I'll blow your a head off a lot cleaner than you did mine." Just then another form approached the safe area. Daptin turned his eyes to the right, without moving his imperiled head, to see a bleary-eyed and raggedly dressed Coabler the Sawman enter the safe area. "Ho, Integrity. Always you to be spared the indignities of disaster. Easy now girl, these fellows are holders of the cup, do not threaten them." Pattern backed off and floated to the ground. "Look, we don't want any trouble." Fake said, looking down at Jerald. "Is he dead?" "I guess so." Pattern said matter-of-factly. Daptin carefully pulled his submachinegun's strap over his head and dropped the gun to the ground. He then sat down Indian style, holding the cup of coffee on his left knee. "I need a moment to commune with the cup before you wrest it from me." Daptin said, reaching into one of the pockets of his vest. "Just take it from him!" Coabler said to Pattern. "I tried--he knocked my head off." Daptin grabbed a big handful of goodbye popcorn out of his pocket and tossed it into his mouth. "Don't commit suicide, you jerk." Pattern said. Daptin crunched the popcorn for a few moments, and then disappeared along with the cup of coffee. "Where'd he go girl!" Pattern yelled at Fake. "I don't--he--he's gone." Fake said. Coabler ambled over to Fake and grabbed her by her upper arms, shaking her. "Now we're all a little dazed from that bomb you set off, but you tell me now where the boy went with the cup or I'll cut you up into a googol little pieces!" "He ate some--" Pattern raised her gun. "Truth blast." Pattern said. Coabler nodded and let go of Fake, who Pattern then shot with a thin blue beam. Fake stumbled around in confusion, finally lying down on her side in the grass, drooling. Coabler knelt down beside her. "Now that's better, hey, lass. Now little girl, where is your green-haired compatriot, hey? Tell me now." "He ate some goodbye popcorn so he doesn't exist right now." Fake gurgled. "Clarify, check." Coabler said. "It's popcorn which makes you disappear for awhile." "How long?" "Depends on how much you eat. I didn't see how much he had." "It appeared to be a handful." "A few hours--definitely less than a day." "Where will he reappear?" "In this vicinity." "Will the cup also reappear with him?" "Yes, as far as I know." "What's your name girl?" "Fake Cerquaine." "Okay. Now rest girl. You'll be okay lass." Coabler got up and faced Pattern. Jerald moaned and rolled over. "System drain bolt." Pattern said, gesturing toward Jerald. "That's fine. Now see about the others--I'm most worried about Bith and Tickle. Be off!" Pattern Integrity flew off into the now dissipating cloud. "Ye'll both be down for a time." Coabler said. "Curse that Pattern for not grabbing the cup. But still, this is all wrong. I can't believe it's the real cup of coffee that your friend had." Fake's cinder block was floating around its master, nudging her innocently. "What have we here? A charmed brick?" Coabler said. "Yes." Fake said, still under the effects of the truth blast. "A trained cinder block." "A funny toy." Coabler said. "That it is." said the gaunt Kesh the Vector as he approached. "Ah Kesh, I knew you'd be no worse for wear." "What was the cause of the explosion?" Kesh asked. "Fake?" Coabler said. "I popped a slay balloon." she said. "There you go friend Kesh--we were victims of a balloon." "Most strange." Kesh said. "I guess you have the situation in hand?" "Two stunned youths is all." Coabler said, clinking his saws together. "And the cup? Was it a false?" "Unknown. Though the nature of this world points to a cupslip entry, I need physical contact to know for sure." "So where is it? Does Pattern have it? I assume she was here." "She was here, but she doesn't have it. The green-top youth who bore it used a novel technique to temporarily set his existence to false. He will be back, though." "Any sign of the others?" Kesh asked. "Not yet. Classic and Demolish should be fine, but as the blast tumbled me several miles from here, so I assume they're trying to get back now. Bith may or may not have survived--it depends on his current degree of silliness. As far as Tickle goes, your guess is as good as mine." "When the fallout settles, we shall see." Kesh said, striding toward Fake's supine form, then kneeling. Pattern appeared. "Coabler, I located Bith. He's a good ways away, covered with soot, and babbling incoherently." Pattern said. "Good." Coabler said. "That leaves Tickle the only one to be worried about." "Are you sure Classic could've wielded her logic in time to save herself?" asked Pattern. "She had a standing theorem that if she's hurt or killed, she won't be hurt or killed. At least, that was my impression." said Coabler. "Tell me everything you know of the cup of coffee, little one." Kesh said to Fake. Fake stared into the nothingness of Kesh's face with an unconcerned expression. "We were hired by Elaine Caxopy to rescue Tavmatey. We could hear her inside the cup. They said her voice was louder in some places and softer in others. They said they plotted it out, and that they thought she was in a space analogous to Boltpike, and if we found the spot, we could rescue her. But apparently they lied. We were only in Boltpike for a few minutes before we wound up here. They told us the cup was 40,000 years old, that we should guard it with our life." "She's under a truth blast, Kesh, so you can believe her words." Pattern said. "Aye." said Coabler. "Now try and locate Tickle, good Pattern Integrity." "No sooner said than done." Pattern said with a vanish. "I don't care about the cup. I wanna go home." Fake said without emotion. "How about the fat one?" Kesh said, gesturing toward the unconscious Jerald Hapal Hatch. "Pattern shot him with a system drain bolt. It'll take him awhile to recover." said Coabler. "Bad choice, hers. I would have liked to question him, also." Kesh said, standing. "We'll get our answers." Coabler said, holstering his saws. The cloud of fallout was thinning to the point that the aftermath of the destructive wave began to come into view. Wisps of dust drifted over the four individuals as the safe area ended. A dank gray wasteland stretched as far as the eye could see. Coabler surveyed the scene, and saw Classic of Logic in the distance. He hailed her and she waved back. "Tis Classic yonder." Coabler said. "Fetch her." Kesh didn't respond, but raised a bony gloved finger and extended his vector, a thin black line, to touch Classic. Then without moving, Kesh took hold of Classic and drew her to him. She hovered a few feet off the ground with the vector extending through her abdomen. In a few moments, she was beside Coabler, and Kesh withdrew his vector. "I could just as easily have walked!" Classic said, holding her stomach. "You know that makes me queasy." "Complain not. You're here now, no?" said Coabler. "Ugh!" said Classic with a shiver. "I hate that vector!" "Your decree is noted, Classic." Kesh said. "Any sign of Demolish or Tickle?" Coabler asked. "Nope." Classic of Logic said. "Well I'm off to find Tickle." said Coabler. "Keep an eye on these two, and if the boy reappears, you know what to do, Kesh." Kesh nodded, and Coabler jogged off into the desolate once-countryside. "So are we finally through with this idiotic quest?" Classic asked Kesh. "Who knows." Kesh said distantly. "Daptin, of course this is unprecedented." said a voice which sounded like trees creaking in thunderstorm. "I was..." Daptin said, shaking his head to clear it. "I was okay?" Looking around, Daptin saw he was standing at the edge of a parking lot overgrown with weeds. It was a chilly, overcast day. Nearby, Daptin saw the weird dark humanoid void which was the Ultra Occult Entity, Obfuser. "Do you know where you are?" Obfuser asked, approaching. Daptin had never seen Obfuser in this form. In his previous encounters, Obfuser took the form of normal-looking person. But now, he seemed to be a great walking vacuum with jack-o-lantern facial features. "Um, I think I was on some world that, I don't know." "Do you know what it is that you carry?" Obfuser said, looking at the cup of coffee. "This? The cup of coffee?" Daptin said, holding up the cup. "Yeah. It's some sort of artifact." "Yeah." Obfuser said with what seemed a shudder. "I was surprised to find you here, but even more surprised to find the cup of coffee." "Isn't this the same world I was on?" "Daptin, you've been playing with forces far beyond your scope. Your goodbye popcorn works fine in mundane spaces, but disappearing from the cupslipped world you were in, there was no way to return. Anywhere." "I didn't return?" "No. You were simply erased from all existence. And you would have remained so, else for the cup you hold." "Huh. At least it's done something good. I wonder if I can still hear Tavmatey?" "I wouldn't think so, friend. See, the universe is ended. It's been done with for a long time." "So how long was I gone?" "Hard to say. From the time you left to the end was a few billion years. Afterward time hasn't meant so much. But quite a while." "So that's it? I'm screwed?" "Not really. You have me, don't you? I can put you back over there where you came from. Just realize that you have been but an enormously high-level reference for a great amount of time. That I found you is a miracle." "If the world's ended, the universe, whatever, then where are we?" "This is a high portion of existence, discreet from the universe. You were essentially dumped here as reality purged it's high sectors. That is, the universe over, a lot of unfinished business could be taken care of, you being a very small piece of business." "Now, uh, Obfuser. Have you like waited like, billion of years since I last saw you?" "Sort of, Daptin. But it's not as bad as it seems. You finally get to see me in a more appropriate form. Had I manifested thus in Spoin Hall, I would have demolished not just your planet, but most of your galaxy as well. Now, in this area, I'm free to be who I am. You can even touch me. Here, try it." Obfuser said, holding out his shadowy black hand. Daptin reached out carefully and touched Obfuser's hand. "I don't understand." Daptin said. "I was wondering how it would feel for a human to touch me in me true form. You seem lost for words." "It's just too much. Like, too much for my senses to even begin to decode." "That makes sense. And to me, too, the sensation of touching a human hand in direct manifestation is intriguing. You know, no human could possibly be brought to a place like this. I certainly couldn't do it. So you being here is a marvelous find." "Almost sounds like you wanna keep me here. I mean, not send me back, if there's no way to get anyone back here." "Oh, worry not Daptin! I can reference this area as many times as I want, refinding you each time. Chronologically speaking, this is the first time. Or at least, the second or third. I don't know how to describe it in English. It's very hard for me to speak in English, but a challenge, since there are so many things to say and so few words to use. But anyway." "So like, where can I return to?" "Oh, anywhere Daptin. From the reference, you were in a bad situation when you left, so perhaps you don't want to return there?" "Well, I'm not even sure where there was. I mean, like, okay--can you just tell me all about this damn cup? I mean, there's like such mystery about it. Maybe you could lift the curtain?" Obfuser turned away and looked skyward. "Daptin, even I, an Ultra Occult Entity, have my limits. The cup is too deeply referenced. I can only tell you a few things. Like you've discovered, displacing the cup's spatial state will cause it to move in a direction I can only call cupward. There is no apparent destination, only a direction." "You mean even you don't understand it?" "I understand some of what it does, but like I said, it's too deep to get at. That's why you survived--the depth of the reference required depositing you and the cup in a temporary area. " "And what about Tavmatey? Or the origin of the cup?" Daptin said, rotating the cup in his hand, and staring at it intently. "Well Daptin, Tavmatey Numblem was in a line with a version of you, but the thing is, with the cup, whomever held it like you held it would have been the person she knew. If Jerald had bore the thing, it would have been him, see? A simple construct. Anyway, she is, in your contact with her, stuck as a high school student in the suburbs of what you know as Honorcora. The cup utterly reshaped situation around her. A funny effect." "How could we rescue her?" "Hard to say. I would have just used the vocal link to make a full-info fill, bringing her back, but I guess you wouldn't know how to do that." "No." Daptin said, still a little dazed from disappearing back. "I mean, it would be inappropriate for me to intervene in such overt ways, don't you see it that way, Daptin?" Obfuser said, turning around and wearing an extremely frightful expression. "I can see your position." "Good." Obfuser said, clasping his hands together. "Then shall I try my method of replacing you afall?" "You mean just send me back to where I was?" "Now well--you had goodbyed with the popcorn, eh? And you weren't in a place you could return to. So I figure I should return you to an area in which you could have returned had you eaten the popcorn there. A hypothet construct, very easy to clay. You game?" "Where?" "My suggestion would be your apartment in Greatwall, but you might have a better idea." "Back at Overwhelm, huh? I guess that might be okay, but what about my friends? At least, what about Fake. I was about to kill that Jerald myself, before that girl killed him." "I would suggest drinking some of the coffee you hold. See, though I know just a little about the cup, it would allow you to travel cupward and then return to where you left from, since the pattern integrity of the cup and its contents will manifest separately for a while." "But--I mean, actually drinking some of this stuff? Wouldn't that be--I dunno--sort of a waste of such powerful stuff?" "Not at all! It's pattern integritied--no physical harm can come of it, since its pattern is apart from the universe, just like the girl you referred to." "Um--should I drink it now?" "No--go back, prepare yourself, and then drink some. The situation-to-reality aspect ratio is too low at Greatwall, but if you go through an Aconck bridge, that should do it, since they are temporary and a lot tighter than the Avert perms." "I makes some sense to me, Great Obfuser." Daptin said with a sigh. "Good! Then let us do it." The next moment, Daptin found himself in darkness. Lights flicked on, and Daptin saw that he was back in his Greatwall apartment. Near the door, he saw Obfuser with his hand on the switch, manifest in the same lanky college freshman form he had assumed in his prior visitations. "And here we are." Obfuser said, his voice alarmingly mundane in this form. "It worked. Perfectly." "I guess I owe you my life." "You would if I could be owed anything, but I can't." Obfuser closed his eyes briefly, and then opened them again. "Can I do anything else before I go away?" "Um--so all I have to do is drink some of the coffee--how much?" "A few mouthfuls. The amount really isn't important. Enough so there's definitely some in your stomach, inside of you." "Okay--and then go through a bridge?" "Yeah--but remember you just have something between eight hours and a day to find them. Just stay with them once you find them." "What about those goons?" "Oh yeah--I hadn't considered that. Uh, bring some of your Overwhelm friends. You will have to dispatch them, won't you? Well, you can do it." "Okay." "Okay then? I'll be off." "Okay. Thank you, Obfuser." "You're quite welcome. This has been most entertaining, in my way." The next instant, Obfuser was gone. "This is so f*cked." Daptin muttered to himself, looking around the apartment he hadn't seen in months. * * * "Have you found Tickle, then?" Coabler asked Pattern Integrity. "Yes, but he's in an awful state." "How so?" Coabler asked. "Classic has him." Pattern said, pointing toward Classic of Logic in the distance. "Fetch 'er, Kesh." Coabler said. Kesh the Vector raised his finger, but in the distance Classic of Logic waved her hand briefly. Kesh projected his vector, but it went far right of the girl. "Logic is, my vector cannot pass through Classic." Kesh said. "Respect her power. Let her come hither as she pleases." Coabler said. "Is there anything that girl can't do?" said Pattern Integrity. "I'd rather not contemplate it." Coabler said. Soon Classic of Logic approached the group. She raised her hand and opened it, revealing a little plastic figurine of Tickle the Monster. "Look what's happened to him." Classic said. "Miniaturized?" Coabler asked. "No--he's a plastic toy. See--you can see where his eyes and stuff are painted on." Classic said, showing Coabler. "This is most disturbing." said Coabler. "As long as we have him, we can cure him eventually." Kesh said. "Can't you just logic the poor fellow?" Pattern asked. "I could try, but I don't know what declaration to make. And since his condition could be a lot of things, the wrong shiftinlogic could do great damage to him." "Stick him in your pocket for now." Coabler said. "He'll be dealt with when the time comes. For now, let us await the return of this fellow Daptin. Then we'll see if it's the cup he has." Kesh the Vector knelt down and touched the ground with his gloved hand, surveying the scene and noting the unmoving forms of Jerald Hapal Hatch and Fake Cerquaine. "If this Daptin doesn't return, I wonder what will become of us." Kesh said. "We can't move toward the cup if it doesn't exist." Demolish All, who had been sleeping, stirred and raised herself up a little, her long black hair all mussed up. "Did I miss anything good?" she asked groggily. "No, not really, Demolish. Everyone's here except Bith, who's apparently on his way back now." Coabler said. "I trust you're all rested from the ordeal." "Ordeal?" Demolish said. "Oh no--it was fantastic. Such pure destruction and violation of order--blasted intense! My experience was an order of magnitude or two more than an intense and continuous orgasm. What a thrill!" "Then you definitely ought to get yourself a few of those balloons." Kesh said dryly. *OW* [[12009AX]] Appendix Confused? Here's Everything You Need to Know! (This information is reprinted every issue in essentially the same form.) The ezine OsoaWeek is the central product of Obliviana Super Occult Amusement. Each weekly issue is prepared as a plain vanilla ASCII file not less than 50K and not exceeding 100K, with the goal of being readable on as many computers as possible. Mac users will likely get little boxes on the lefthand column--this is due to the "hard return" needed at the end of every line on DOS machines. You can live with them, or search-and-replace them away (but please don't distribute any altered copies of OW!). Meaning of codes: The first two-digit number is the sequential section number in this issue of OsoaWeek. The next three-digit number is the issue number of this OsoaWeek. The last element, a 2-character code, is shorthand for a given feature. To search: To find the beginning of the next section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets with no spaces. To find a particular section, search for the string containing two lefthand brackets followed by the two-digit section number, with no spaces. To find a particular feature, search for the string containing the two-character code followed by two righthand brackets, with no spaces. Using the latter method, you can find a particular feature in any issue of OsoaWeek without even referring to the contents. The Contents are divided into three sections: (a) the introductory, informative, housekeeping sort of features, (b) stuff directly relating to the playing of Osoa, such as new Fonostas, events, info, etc., and (c) the general entertaining and informative section. These three areas are casual and separated for ease of use. To make it easy, in EVERY issue of OsoaWeek, the first section starts with Masthead (MH), the second with State of Obliviana (SO), and the third with Hemisinister Review (HR). 1-800-OBLIVIANA--This toll-free number can be called anytime from any phone in the Continental USA for the latest information on Obliviana, including samples of Obliviana sound bites! Acknowledgments: I would like to thank my girlfriend Kerri for putting up with me while I spend countless hours developing OsoaWeek--thanks Kerri, I love you! This Appendix is located at the end of the file because it contains boring, repetitive info you wouldn't want in your way. Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) is an endeavor created by Frank Edward Nora, AKA, Lord of Obliviana. Osoa is fully independent and not affiliated with any other organization, belief, etc. Here's a detailed introduction to Osoa: You know there's something else going on in this world, but you can't quite pin it down. And you know there's something else going on with YOU. But it ever eludes you, and teases you, these glimpses of otherness. On the subject of explaining the world, people generally consider that science and religion form a complete scale. Science dealing with the measurable and observable, and religion dealing with the supernatural and mysterious. But really, science is limited to physical measurement and observation, and religion is limited to gods, supernatural beings, how the world was created, and what happens to us when we die. But if you consider it, there is a vast realm of human experience which does not fall into either category. It is this realm that I call Obliviana. Dreams, hunches, deja vu, luck, humor, creativity, emotions, intuition, events "working themselves out", psychic phenomenon, the atmospheres of certain places, memories from childhood, ruts, coincidence, "small world", and more. These are just the tip of the iceberg in Obliviana! Who knows what other exhilarating phenomena await our exploration? With the dawn of the Digital Superworld, that complex and ever-expanding interconnection of computers, networks, and the like, the realm of human endeavor is drastically changed. We have glimpsed a danger in the mesmerizing qualities of even the worst television. In the Digital Superworld, this effect is magnified by several orders of magnitude--so even the cheapest and most worthless online activities become irresistibly engaging and addictive. Imagine a population fully engaged in such tripe--jacked in, spending more and more time engrossed in such pointless, empty activities as computers and robots do more and more of the work. Not a pretty picture, is it? It is partially with the intent of preventing this nightmare that Obliviana Super Occult Amusement (Osoa) was established on July 28, 1994. Osoa is the first and greatest endeavor to provide the world with a viable, broad-based, universally-compelling endeavor to provide CONTEXT in the Digital Superworld. The exploration of Obliviana can be undertaken in a wild variety of ways. Check out the eleven Osoa Flowers (introduced in OsoaWeek001) for details. Also check out the first issue for details on establishing your very own Fonosta! Osoa is an innovative and far-reaching game. Why a game? Well, aren't most explorations really games when you come right down to it? And, as a practical matter, some of the elements in Obliviana are too bizarre to be presented as anything OTHER than a game. So Obliviana as game can be looked at as shielding and candy-coating, but can also be viewed as cutting to the heart of the matter--hey, exploring the realm of Obliviana is not vital to our ongoing survival, but it is pretty darn entertaining and satisfying. It is with the game of Obliviana running on the ever-expanding Digital Superworld that we can abandon the mediocrity of the past and make something very new, wild, and now. *OW* [[END009OW]] -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----