|| -------- -- -----  A E R I E   O B L I V I A N A . singular book of text wandertainment by Frank Edward Nora ------------------- ----------- CARNE'S MOISTURE DETECTION FRIEND--CUP 3--"GREG ANN CONWAY" <-------  ||  Severe Repair  ||  Carne's Moisture Detection Friend  ||  -------> (Cup SRcm003, Created v2 (6/7/99), Copyright 1999) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = -F- CARNE: My cousin was pretty unique. Her and my Moisture Detection Friend would sit around for hours, playing strange games without saying a word. So when my cousin joined that cult, we were all very disappointed. We were expecting great things from her. PACER: What cult was that again? CARNE: They worship this guy named Greg Ann Conway. He's a maniac. He makes them sleep in Nineteenth-Century gambler outfits. You know like on riverboats, like in the "Karma Chameleon" video? They sleep dressed like that. A damned ridiculous idea. PACER: That sucks, man... Y'know, is this rain ever gonna stop? Can you even see where you're going? CARNE: The directions are pretty sketchy, but I tellya, I knew this guy in college. He's a real computer genius. If anyone can load my cousin's disk, it's him. It's amazing we even found it, considering how well she hid it. PACER: So whattaya think is on there? Poems? Drawings? A novel? CARNE: We're leaning toward a novel. She always said she was working on one, but she'd never give specifics. And if the disk DOES contain a novel, maybe if we publish it, it'll snap her out of this stupid cult involvement. PACER: Cool. Damn it's windy! I think this shitty Ford Aspire of yours might just go and blow away--with us in it! What possessed you to buy such a friggin' lame car? CARNE: Oh, I don't know. I kind of like my little Aspire. It's not much of a car, but it gets me where I want to go. And whenever I see some big shot pass by in a Hummer, smoking a big expensive cigar, I smile, and take a draw on my corncob pipe, and know that I am free of that man's burdens. PACER: What? Man, you're losin' it. I think YOU'RE in some kind of cult. Some kind of Ford Aspire, corncob pipe kind of wacky cult. And you don't take this austere, Zen attitude when it comes to buying your audiophile shit! You spent more on your turntable than on your car! CARNE: Well, I bet you've spent more on those silly action figures of yours than your... um, your... that new moped you're thinking of buying. PACER: Come on man! Action figures are the, like, quintessential representation of the rebirth of our culture! You gotta realize that! The statues of the gods have become the plastic figurines of godlike characters! You gotta know that! CARNE: Maybe my cousin is smart to be in that Greg Ann Conway cult. She doesn't have to worry about cars or pipes or action figures or mopeds. All she has to do is wander around all day long, doing whatever Greg Ann tells her to do. I heard that last week she was selling sand to inner city youth. And that's not so bad. -G- CARNE: In 1982 there was a videogame called "Moon Patrol". My Moisture Detection Friend could play that game for hours and hours. He didn't care. If he had to be somewhere, meet someone. Nothing. PACER: Yeah, I went on a moon patrol once. CARNE: You liked the game too? PACER: No, I mean a REAL moon patrol. I went with a friend of mine, who's in the Moon Brigade. You know those UFO's they found in Arizona or something? They figured out how to make 'em. Anyone can go to the moon. You just have to know the right people. CARNE: So Pacer, what is the moon like? What's it like to actually BE there? PACER: Hold on a minute. Um... excuse me! Yeah, can I get some more water here, please? Thank you. Geez, this place has terrible service. CARNE: Yeah, it's not too good. So now, what were you saying about the moon? PACER: I didn't get to walk around, I just stayed in the UFO. And the Earth, it looks like someone painted it up there. It looks fake, y'know? CARNE: So, this was a dream? PACER: Yeah. So? CARNE: So why'd you say it was real? PACER: Dreams are real. They're part of reality. You experience them in a similar way to the way you experience life in the waking world. Why not? CARNE: I think this conversation we're having is a dream. It's certainly not up to par with other conversations we've had! -------> ------------------- ----------- -------- -- -----